Why Laughter In Marriage Is Important

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Why Laughter in Marriage is Important pin with a woman holding a cup of coffee.Laughter in marriage is important because you need more positive than negative interaction with each other to have a quality relationship.

If you’re spending more time fighting than anything, your marriage could be in trouble. Think about the last difficult situation you had together. How did you handle it? Did you lose your temper or did you control yourself and see the big picture?

Recently, my husband and I had a very frustrating thing happen to both of us. We both chose to laugh about it instead of yell at each other.

Believe me, I wanted to yell. I could have reacted badly, but I decided the whole thing was just plain funny.

Here is what happened…

A Mouse In the House

A couple of weeks ago, I was out at night with some girlfriends. My husband was home alone. He was locking up for the night and let the cat in like usual. Only this time the cat snuck in with a mouse.

A live mouse.

Usually, my husband can stop my cat at the door, but not this time.

Unfortunately, she ran past him and then meowed. When she opened her mouth, the mouse fell out onto the floor. It quickly ran away to parts unknown–inside our house.

My husband tried to find the mouse or get the cat to catch it again. No such luck.

After a while, he gave up and went to bed. I came home later that night and quietly got in bed so I would not wake him. I was totally ignorant of the mouse situation.

RELATED: The Best Marriage Advice for Struggling Couples

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Why Laughter in Marriage is Important-Mom Remade. When you are married, life can bring some difficult situations. You have a choice when it happens. You can work together or pull the other way. And sometimes it is good to just laugh. Learn how to laugh when trials come your way. #marriage #wife #husband #trials #faith #divorce #fighting #laughter

Laughter In Marriage or Screaming?

The next morning I got up, and my husband said nothing. Nothing! After an hour or two,  he nonchalantly brought up the cat, and that he let her in the night before. I was thinking, “Okay, that’s nice. He let the cat in.”

Eventually, he got around to the fact that she had a mouse. Nothing unusual about that. My cat loves mice. She brings them to the door regularly.

About 20 minutes later, he said something quietly about how a mouse came in with the cat.

I finally put together that my cat brought in a live mouse. I thought for sure he was going to say he caught it. Or the cat caught it.

 A house burning with huge flames.

That part never came. I finally realized I slept in our house all night with a live mouse running around, and it still had not been found!

My first reaction…let’s burn the house down. No, really.

This is where you have a choice. Is there going to be laughter in marriage or screaming?

RELATED: The Best Way to Change Your Husband Through Prayer


I thought about screaming, but it would not have done any good. The mouse would still be running around either way.

I was upset he didn’t tell me the night before, but I would not have wanted him to leave me a note or stay up and wait for me. He had work the next day.

To make me feel better, he said it was a very tiny mouse. There is no such thing as a tiny mouse.  A mouse is a mouse.

After that, he left to go to work. He said he would bring home something that evening to catch it.

He left me all day with a live mouse in the house. ( And the night before.) I have to admit, I was not a happy camper. Then I realized there was really nothing to do but laugh and make light of the whole situation.

I was stuck with the darn mouse all day either way.

My husband was true to his word.

He did bring home something that night to catch it. Only the mouse was too smart and remained on the loose. In the meantime, we were both paranoid about the thing jumping on us.

We eventually caught the mouse after three long days only to be sabotaged by my cat again on the fourth day.

RELATED: Marriage Challenge: How to Change You Husband In 30 Days

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Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart is on Amazon or in your favorite digital store. 

The Cat Did It Again

I wish I could say that was the end of the mouse saga.

This time it happened early in the morning. My husband was up getting ready for work. He let the cat out around 5:30 a.m.

She had been roaming around for about an hour and wanted back in to eat. It was probably around 6:15 am. He opened the door only to find a RAT in her mouth this time.

And this one was a biggie.

I heard my husband saying loudly, “No Patches! You can’t come in! No! No! She’s got a rat! It’s a rat! She’s in! The cat came in with a rat!”

Meanwhile, I’m still in bed. Asleep. It’s 6:15 am. Guess where she went? Patches went straight for our bedroom WITH THE RAT.

I have never flown out of bed so fast. I am not a morning person. All of a sudden, there was a CAT and a RAT under my bed.

The mouse had been caught, but now we had a RAT!

Rat Under My Bed

At this point, I didn’t know if the rat was dead or alive. I had to find out. I put my head under the bed, and there they were.

Both of them. The cat looked quite pleased with herself. The cat and the rat were laying right next to each other.

Thank goodness the rat was dead.  Can you hear what I am saying? “Thank goodness there was a dead rat under my bed at 6:15 a.m.”

A white mouse hiding under a red blanket.

I could have put my head under the bed and come face to face with a live rat.  Hmm.  

I’ll take dead!

After I got the dead rat out, we both started laughing…again.

We made a deal to look at the cat’s mouth from now on before she comes in. I’m so glad we both chose laughter in marriage instead of screaming at each other.

RELATED: 11 Revealing Clues You Are a Hot Mess Mom

Laughter In Marriage Is Better

After twenty-five years together, I have decided laughter in marriage is so much better than fighting about something that could not be controlled.

I have learned my husband can’t control everything. and it is ridiculous to think he can.

Things just happen.

I had a choice. Yelling at my husband would have only delayed the mouse/rat problem. The cat was the issue, not him.

Most of the time, you will find the enemy is not your spouse. (Check out Dr. Dobson who has an article regarding another 12 marriage killers besides yelling.)

Next time you want to yell and scream at your spouse, pause and think about the situation. Control your initial reaction and then go into problem-solving mode. Immediately start thinking, “What can I do to work together to fix the problem?”

It will save you a lot of time and hurt feelings. And you will get rid of your “rat ” much faster.

Do You Have Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you experiencing family problems or even estranged? Are you feeling shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store. 

This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family, but it also gives solid tips to help you with your own family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.

Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart book with a single tree on the book

Creating Family Memories Book

Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids.  It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite bookstore.

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Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Family Living. This is a place for Christian women to share their experiences and get helpful tools to navigate the Christian life. We love to laugh, cry, and encourage each other to live out our faith one day at a time.

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Julie Plagens


  1. Lindsay Aratari on February 14, 2019 at 8:14 am

    Laughter really is the best medicine!!

  2. Jodie on February 14, 2019 at 8:04 am

    Thank you for being honest and vulnerable hear! I can see myself in this situation and also being angry. Choose to laugh! Great advice.

    • Julie Plagens on March 23, 2019 at 3:06 pm

      Jodi, every day is a choice. it is all about attitude!

  3. Praansh on March 6, 2018 at 4:00 pm

    Laughter is a great medicine & laughter in married life is like a tonic to being married life sweeter than sweetest. To be living married life with laughing at every movement should be loving in heaven & a successful life that doesn’t need anything in this frustrated world.

    • Julie Plagens on March 23, 2018 at 10:45 pm

      Thanks so much for your comment. I just now saw it. Yes, laughter in marriage is why we can still be in love.

  4. Nicole Caudle on February 16, 2018 at 9:24 pm

    My husband is always making me laugh. We have a story similar involving a snake. Then there was the time I left the sunroof open over night and bird flew in. He still gets a kick out of that….lol

    • Julie Plagens on February 17, 2018 at 10:19 pm

      Haha! Well, it doesn’t seem funny right when it happens, but it definitely can be funny when it’s over. I’ll take a rat over a snake. Eek

  5. Lisa on February 15, 2018 at 1:55 am

    I agree a marriage should be filled with laughter. Your post was enjoyable to read. Thanks for the laugh.

    • Julie Plagens on February 15, 2018 at 2:30 pm

      Glad you found it humorous! Thanks for commenting.

  6. Bobbi on February 14, 2018 at 10:51 pm

    Laughter is such an important part of marriage. There are way too many stresses already in life but that should be a relationship you can have to make you feel all those positive vibes.

  7. Jennifer Corter on February 14, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    Laughter is so, so important in a marriage! If we don’t have laughter, what do we have?

    • Julie Plagens on February 15, 2018 at 1:27 am

      You have a boring marriage if you can’t laugh!! Haha.

  8. Vidya Sudarsan on February 13, 2018 at 9:41 pm

    I enjoyed reading about the loose mouse in your house! I have to also agree here – laughter in marriage is very important. We can easily get carried away with our daily activities without having moments to sit and laugh about something. We have made it a point to talk share interesting and funny events after dinner time.

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:05 am

      It is hard to sit and share when you have kids, games, etc. So important though. Thanks for reading!

  9. Angie on February 13, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    This was so funny to read! My husband and myself have been married for almost 5 years and together for almost 9. It’s been a long road but we are now realizing that laughing is the best way to get through things. We’ve been through really hard times and it has made us fight but now we see the best thing we can do it be a team and be there for one another!

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:06 am

      It is hard to sit and share when you have kids, games, etc. So important though. Thanks for reading!

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:10 am

      Yeah, life is tough. Sometimes you laugh and sometimes you cry!! Thanks for reading.

  10. Rosey on February 13, 2018 at 11:40 am

    I think laughing is contagious. It’s fun to spend time with someone who makes you laugh, even better if that someone is your life partner!

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:11 am

      I love to laugh. I wish I had more funny stories. Just nothing with rats!!

  11. Linda on February 13, 2018 at 11:00 am

    Love this – how funny! I couldn’t agree more about laughter in marriage. We’ve been married for 26 years and if we didn’t laugh so much, I don’t know what we would do?!

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:12 am

      Oh yes! You’ve been married longer than me. It’s 25 this year. Sounds like you have a good thing going!!

  12. Jelena on February 13, 2018 at 10:37 am

    I love your post! I currently enjoy my (second) marriage and laugh again every day.

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:13 am

      Good ! Keep up the laughter. It’s better than crying!

  13. Jiya B on February 13, 2018 at 9:33 am

    This is a lovely post I read in the entire day. Trust me each word comes as a reminder on how much I need or we need to laugh in our daily life.

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:14 am

      Thanks for such sweet encouragement. It does my heart good. ❤️❤️

  14. Melissa Javan on February 13, 2018 at 7:49 am

    I think my reaction would be the same as yours. Really there is no such thing as a small mouse. I get chills just thinking about it. You’re right about not getting angry about little stuff, laugh it off.

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:16 am

      Oh, it’s hard sometimes. I almost have trained myself to laugh at things that are probably inappropriate to laugh at out loud. I have to watch my responses and n front of people!

  15. Gem on February 13, 2018 at 7:24 am

    Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! I can completely understand as I hate the idea of them (dead or alive) in the house 🙂

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:17 am

      Uh, yeah! The whole thing is just horrible. It makes me want to Clorox everything!! Haha.

  16. Lindsay | Splendiferous Mama on February 13, 2018 at 5:37 am

    Oh my goodness! This is hilarious and reminds me of a similar situation with our first house. We lived in a pretty low income area. There were renters on either side of us. We had a major mouse problem… this was partly due to the fact that our neighbors stopped paying for garbage services and had a “mouse playland” next door and partly because our house was 100 years old and had a stone foundation. One night my husband felt something crawling up his leg… it was a mouse! Thank goodness I wasn’t in bed yet! When he finally told me about the incident I desperately tried to fill every hole I could find. I couldn’t sleep for weeks without thinking every tickle was another mouse.

    Laughter in a marriage is good medicine! Now when we look back at our first house with its many problems and laugh. It has helped us build some character into our marriage for sure.

    • Jen on February 13, 2018 at 2:20 pm

      I love this, thanks for sharing something funny to start my day!! Laughter in marriage should never stop, no matter what! 🙂 I’m blessed to be married to a silly soul.

      • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:08 am

        I’m glad I gave you a good laugh to start your day! Thanks for reading!

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:19 am

      Oh, now that is just awful. I’d be a crazy mess. You are so brave!!! Glad you’re laughing about it. Thanks for reading!

  17. Renee on February 13, 2018 at 4:33 am

    LOVE this perspective! I found out the hard way that I very much over-react to mice…so you are a small hero in my eyes for not burning your house down.

    • Julie Plagens on February 14, 2018 at 2:08 am

      Oh, I wanted to. I resisted the urge to go crazy!!

  18. Maya Claros on February 13, 2018 at 3:08 am

    This is such a funny story! I could only imagine your reaction if you husband would have left a note ??? We had a mouse on time but luckily I was out of town that weekend and my hubby caught it before I returned.


    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 4:22 am

      You lucked out, big time! Thanks for reading.

  19. Blair villanueva on February 13, 2018 at 3:03 am

    I agree laughter is very important. Me and my partner have no time to argue on things so we make it a point to laugh some issues instead of giving energy on arguing. When both of us take it lightly, we easily come up with solution!

  20. LavandaMichelle on February 12, 2018 at 10:58 pm

    This post sure made me smile. I totally agree w/ your first thought to burn the hose down, if something like that happened to me I might have slept in the car until the mouse was gone! This was a great story, thanks for sharing.

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:15 am

      I am so glad you got a laugh. I didn’t think about the car!! Hmm. Next time.

  21. Brandi Michel | FamilyFelicity.com on February 12, 2018 at 9:33 pm

    Oh my goodness! I couldn’t even imagine… at rat! Yes, laughter in marriage is so important and so much better than screaming at each other. Great reminder.

  22. Candy on February 12, 2018 at 9:26 pm

    Grace is often something that is hard to deal with. A lot of times, when things trigger us, it’s easy to blow up and get stuck in the now. By looking at the big picture like you did, more progress resolves. Very informative post.

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:17 am

      You are so right. Easy to blow up!! Thanks for reading.

  23. Danielle @ A Sprinkle of Joy on February 12, 2018 at 7:21 pm

    Oh my goodness! The mouse I could probably deal with, but the rat? No way. But you are so right, laughing is so important!

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:17 am

      The rat about threw me over. I know!!

  24. Preet on February 12, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    Your post kept me glued to it till the end, I like how you explained the whole cat and rat situation, made me laugh out loud. Such an amazing message, laughter is indeed so important in marriage as well as any other relation 🙂

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:22 am

      Thanks for the writing encouragement. Really needed that this week.

  25. Dana Peller on February 12, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    What a wonderful way to connect with your spouse — through laughter! We’ve had our ups and downs, but laughter has always brought us together again.

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:22 am

      So glad you are together and working through things!

  26. Sydney Meek on February 12, 2018 at 4:23 pm

    What a funny story. Laughter can be such a great tool in tough situations. It is definitely way easier to laugh later than in the moment, but a great reminder to laugh at and love ourselves.

    Sydney Meek | meeklyloving.wordpress.com

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:26 am

      So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!

  27. Nezet on February 12, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    Love this ! Laughter is definitely needed in every marriage.

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:25 am

      Thanks for reading! Glad you laughed.

  28. Sammi on February 12, 2018 at 2:15 pm

    Laughter in marriage is definitely so sweet. This is a great anecdote!

    Also, we have been dealing with a mouse issue lately as well and my husband gets a nice kick out of everytime I jump up on the nearest piece of furniture whatever it may be. Our cat is a big mouser and usually catches them but he’s been loungin on the heating vents all cozy lately not doing much mouse catchin. Haha.

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:24 am

      Oh man. I’m so sorry your cat’s on vacation. That stinks. Hopefully, she’ll get enticed if one runs by!

  29. Kim on February 12, 2018 at 2:09 pm

    I think I would have passed out! This made me lol.

  30. Nicole Kauffman on February 12, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    YES, we definitely need to find ways to laugh more, especially at difficult things! But it can be SO hard!!

  31. Gabby on February 12, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    Oh my gosh this story had me cracking up! Laughter is so important in our marriage. We definitely have our blowout fights but we always end up laughing together anyway.

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:16 pm

      So glad you work things out! Thanks for reading.

  32. Dee Jackson on February 12, 2018 at 9:00 am

    I completely agree that laughter in marriage is important. It makes situations alot easier to handle.

    • Julie Plagens on February 13, 2018 at 2:26 am

      Yes, very true. Better than yelling!

  33. Kiwi on February 12, 2018 at 8:09 am

    This was a hilarious story. Look now you and your hubby can continue to add this to your list of things to forever laugh at.

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:16 pm

      Oh yes, he definitely is going to laugh even more when he sees all the comments.

  34. Katie on February 12, 2018 at 3:48 am

    I would have freaked out!!! That’s such a funny story. Laughter adds so much energy and happiness into a home. Thanks for sharing!

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 3:57 am

      Haha! Yeah, I had to really work on my self control. Thanks for reading!

  35. Dorothy at Shockinglydelish on February 12, 2018 at 3:08 am

    This is a really insightful read. I am a big believer that laughter really is the best medicine! We might as well laugh right?!

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 3:58 am

      Thanks for reading! Definitely need laughter in marriage!

  36. Sonya Ali on February 11, 2018 at 11:21 pm

    That was such a fantastic read!!! :):):)

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 3:59 am

      Thanks! Thanks for taking the time to read!

  37. shanell on February 11, 2018 at 5:52 pm

    This story was so funny. I had my husband read it and we laughed hard together. The part about the Rat under the bed…hilarious! I have always wanted a cat but not after this story.

    • Julie Plagens on February 11, 2018 at 7:34 pm

      I am so glad you liked it. I still can’t believe it happened! Thanks for reading.

  38. Deanna on February 11, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    I have always said laughter is the key to it all! Have to have laughter in life!

  39. Echo on February 11, 2018 at 3:52 pm

    We didn’t laugh that much in the beginning. We would see/so funny things and say, “that’s so funny.” But we didn’t really laugh much. When our son was born we started fake laughing to try to get him to laugh. It turned into us actually laughing and now we laugh all the time.

    • Julie Plagens on February 11, 2018 at 7:36 pm

      I’m glad you can laugh more now. Thanks for reading.

  40. Rebecca on February 11, 2018 at 3:24 am

    Laughter is just better regardless. It can change the mood, the level of stress, the anxiety. Fun post! Thanks for the read.

    • Julie Plagens on February 11, 2018 at 7:37 pm

      So glad you enjoyed it. Laughing does make a marriage much better.

  41. Alissa on February 11, 2018 at 12:40 am

    I agree 100% with you! My husband and I agreed early on that we would never yell or curse at each other, and we’ve kept up that agreement our entire relationship and marriage. And we laugh a lot. It’s key to a happy marriage!

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:17 pm

      I’m so glad you all made that pact. Cursing is a destructive tool to destroy a marriage.

  42. andrea on February 10, 2018 at 10:46 pm

    LOL great post! Laughter is how my husband & I have stayed together for 20+ years. We laugh all the time people think we are NUTS but hey that’s ok. Keep LAUGHING

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:18 pm

      It keeps things light and fun. If you can’t laugh with your spouse then things are not so great.

  43. Jess on February 10, 2018 at 7:41 pm

    I agree laughter is the best! Your story was too funny and we live in a cold climate the mice areally always trying to get in ugh! My husband and I always try to laugh more then we argue!

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:19 pm

      Ohh, I would be crazy with the mice all around. Glad you can laugh about things.

  44. Holly on February 10, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    Laughter is such a great tool in stressful situations. My husband is admittedly, much better at handling bumps in the road than I am. He knows that I don’t handle stress well and over the years we have learned how to handle these moments with humor and a sense of “this too shall pass”. Oh and growing up in the country I could have handled a mouse in the house, but when you said RAT it was over!

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:20 pm

      Yeah, the rat got me. It was HUGE. And we live in the city, but near water. My cat brings things from blocks away. She’s crazy.

  45. Bellissimamma on February 10, 2018 at 2:40 pm

    I am laughing so hard right now! The mouse story is really funny. Thanks for reminding me to chill and laugh it out. Marriage is supposed to be fun!

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:21 pm

      I am so glad you thought that was funny! Does my heart good to laugh.

  46. Kristin Cook on February 10, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    bahahaha! This is awesome! I totally get it! My hubby and I have had some “mouse adventures”. Some involved laughing and some involved yelling. Laughing is a much better idea!

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:22 pm

      Yeah, it’s a toss up on which way to go with the whole mouse thing. It’s hard not to lose control.

  47. Lysa on February 10, 2018 at 12:37 pm

    My husband makes me laugh every day and I am so thankful for him!
    We have a funny mouse story. One evening I saw a little mouse scurry across the floor. My three children were in bed and my husband was in the shower. I stood on the sofa until he got out and came downstairs. As I was telling him that there was a mouse in the house, it scurried into the dining room. He grabbed the kitchen broom with the intent of hitting and stunning it. What happened was that he chased it around the dining room table a few times! We were laughing so hard because it was so ridiculous. I finally thought to open the french door in the dining room and the mouse finally ran out!
    Laughing together is always the better choice!
    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:23 pm

      Oh, that’s good. It’s kinda funny watching the husband chase and run around the house. You have to decide it’s funny instead of screaming.

  48. Laura Nightingale | The Yellow Birdhouse on February 9, 2018 at 11:40 pm

    My husband regularly makes me laugh, he’s quick-witted, and I think he’s a little proud of the fact that I find him genuinely funny! He’s figured out how to use his humour to get himself out of trouble too! 🙂

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:27 pm

      My son is that way. It was hard to discipline him because I was trying not to laugh. I’m sure your hubby is a charmer.

  49. Gloria T (@M_GloriaT) on February 9, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    thumbs up !! great post

  50. Yvette on February 9, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    This was so funny, I can totally relate to he in the moment you can frustrated or angry — including at the cat — but how really it is pretty funny a well.

    • Julie Plagens on February 12, 2018 at 2:28 pm

      Yes, it was a hard decision on whether I was going to lose it or not. We all have a choice every time!

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