Laughter in marriage is important because you need more positive than negative interaction with each other to have a quality relationship. If you’re spending more time fighting than anything, your marriage could be in trouble.
Think about the last difficult situation you had together. How did you handle it? Did you lose your temper or did you control yourself and see the big picture?
Recently, my husband and I had a very frustrating thing happen to the both of us. We chose to laugh about it instead of yell at each other. Believe me, I wanted to yell. I could have reacted badly, but I decided the whole thing was just plain funny. Here is what happened.
A Mouse In the House
A couple of weeks ago, I was out at night with some girlfriends. My husband was home alone. He was locking up for the night and let the cat in like usual. Only this time the cat snuck in with a mouse. A live mouse. Usually, my husband can stop my cat at the door, but not this time.
Unfortunately, she ran past him and then meowed. When she opened her mouth, the mouse fell out onto the floor. It quickly ran away to parts unknown-inside our house.
My husband tried to find the mouse or get the cat to catch it again. No such luck. After a while, he gave up and went to bed. I came home later that night and quietly got in bed so as not to wake him. I was totally ignorant of the mouse situation.
Laughter In Marriage or Screaming?
The next morning I got up, and my husband said nothing. Nothing! After an hour or two, he nonchalantly brought up the cat, and that he let her in the night before. I was thinking, “Okay, that’s nice. He let the cat in.”
Eventually, he got around to the fact that she had a mouse. Nothing unusual about that. My cat loves mice. She brings them to the door regularly.
About 20 minutes later, he said something quietly about how a mouse came in with the cat. I finally put together that my cat brought in a live mouse. I thought for sure he was going to say he caught it. Or the cat caught it.
That part never came. I finally realized I slept in our house all night with a live mouse running around, and it still had not been found! My first reaction…let’s burn the house down. No, really. This is where you have a choice. Is there going to be laughter in marriage or screaming?
It Would Not Have Done Any Good
I thought about screaming, but it would not have done any good. The mouse would still be running around either way. I was upset he didn’t tell me the night before, but I would not have wanted him to leave me a note or stay up and wait for me. He had work the next day.
To make me feel better, he said it was a very tiny mouse. (There is no such thing as a tiny mouse. A mouse is a mouse.) After that, he left to go to work. He said he would bring home something that evening to catch it.
He left me all day with a live mouse in the house. ( And the night before) I have to admit, I was not a happy camper. Then I realized there was really nothing to do but laugh and make light of the whole situation. I was stuck with the darn mouse all day either way.
My husband was true to his word. I had faith in him. He did bring home something that night to catch it. Only the mouse was too smart and remained on the loose. In the meantime, we were both paranoid about the thing jumping on us.
The First Evening Together With the Mouse
The first evening together with the mouse on the loose, we sat close together hoping our noise would scare it away. I guess we were thinking there was safety in numbers. After a while, my husband got up to go do something.
All of the sudden I heard him hollering and then saw him dancing around in the next room. It was something like, “It got me! It got me! Ahh! The mouse! The mouse! He’s on me!” He kept up the hollering for about 30 seconds. I kid you not. My husband never hollers. And he’s not really scared of anything either, especially critters. He is an outdoorsman.
This is what really happened: He was walking to his office and tripped on the rug. I guess he decided it was the mouse instead of the rug corner. He was convinced the mouse was on his foot and attacking him. (Don’t forget that he told me it was a baby mouse.)
Soon he realized it was the rug and not a mouse. We both couldn’t stop laughing. Perhaps God has a sense of humor. Carma at it’s finest. And I didn’t do any of it.
Sometimes it pays to be quiet and let things evolve. Because I chose laughter in marriage, this ended up being a great story and not a huge fight. I hardly ever catch my husband jumping around hollering about a critter. It was priceless!
The Cat Did It Again
I wish I could say that was the end of the mouse saga. We eventually caught the mouse after 3 long days only to be sabotaged by my cat again on the 4th day. This time it happened early in the morning. My husband was up getting ready for work. He let the cat out around 5:30 a.m.
She had been roaming around for about an hour and wanted back in to eat. It was probably around 6:15 am. He opened the door only to find a RAT in her mouth this time. This one was a biggie.
I heard my husband saying loudly, “No Patches! You can’t come in! No! No! She’s got a rat! It’s a rat! She’s in! The cat came in with a rat!”
Meanwhile, I’m still in bed. Asleep. It’s 6:15 am. Guess where she went? Patches went straight for our bedroom WITH THE RAT. I have never flown out of bed so fast. ( I am not a morning person) All of the sudden, there was a CAT and a RAT under my bed. The mouse had been caught, but now we had a RAT!
Is the Rat Dead or Alive?
At this point, I didn’t know if the rat was dead or alive. I had to find out. I put my head under the bed, and there they were. The both of them. The cat looked quite pleased with herself. The cat and the rat were laying right next to each other. Thank goodness the rat was dead. Can you hear what I am saying? “Thank goodness there was a dead rat under my bed at 6:15 a.m.”
I could have put my head under the bed and come face to face with a live rat. Hmm. I’ll take dead. After I got the dead rat out, we both started laughing…again. We made a deal to look at the cat’s mouth from now on before she comes in. I’m so glad we both chose laughter in marriage instead of screaming at each other.
Laughter In Marriage Is Better
After 24 years together, I have decided laughter in marriage is so much better than fighting about something that could not be controlled. I have learned that my husband can’t control everything. and it is ridiculous to think he can. Things just happen.
I had a choice. Yelling at my husband would have only delayed the mouse/rat problem. The cat was the issue, not him. Most of the time, you will find the enemy is not your spouse. (Check out Dr. Dobson who has an article regarding another 12 marriage killers besides yelling.)
Next time you want to yell and scream at your spouse, pause and think about the situation. Control your initial reaction and then go into problem-solving mode. Immediately start thinking, “What can I do to work together to fix the problem?” It will save you a lot of time and hurt feelings. And you will get rid of your “rat ” much faster.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I encourage you to examine your marriage. No one’s marriage is perfect. Think about ways you can improve your role as a wife or husband. I have found praying for your spouse is the best way to see your relationship flourish in ways you never thought. If you are finding yourself tongue tied and don’t know how to start praying, then I will sent you a prayer that is already written out for you. It is a powerful prayer full of scriptures. All you do is add your spouses’ name. I believe you will see a difference in your marriage when you start praying. Just add your name to the email list and you will automatically receive the prayer.
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