One of the best ways to make storytime fun for your kids is to introduce a few of the weirdest things in the Bible. Some of these weird bible verses may be for older kids, but there are plenty of funny Bible verses for your little ones too.
I mean, really. Who doesn’t love a good story that has giants, talking animals, potty humor, or strange Bible heroes?
You may have fun reading some of the weirdest Bible verses to yourself. Forget the kids!
One thing is for sure, God has a sense of humor. So, loosen up and have a little fun with this!
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What Are the Weirdest Things In the Bible?
Check out the 55 weirdest things in the Bible that your kids (and you) will love. In fact, you may find your kids giggling way more than they should. You can’t blame them though. Some of the best stories in the Bible are just plain strange!
There are some shocking Bible verses that will have you saying “hmm” for a long time. On the bright side, this will give you plenty to talk about at dinner tonight.
- A snake talked to Eve in the garden. We seem to read over this like it is normal! (Genesis 3)
- A donkey talked to his master, Balaam, and complained about being beaten. (Num. 22:28-30)
- There were giants during Bible times. (Genesis 6:4) One is described as having 12 fingers and 12 toes (2 Sam. 21:20) and another as having a bed approximately 13.5 ft. long x 6 ft. wide. (Deut. 3:11) Goliath, the most famous giant, was around 9.5 ft. tall. (Sam. 17:4) This is one of the weirdest things in the Bible!
- Joshua prayed for the sun to stand still and the moon to stop so they could conquer their enemies, the Amorites. And it did! (Joshua 10:12-14)
- Rahab, the harlot, was an ancestor of Christ. There are four other women mentioned in Matthew that are part of Jesus’ genealogy. They have shady pasts too. (Matt. 1:5) Check out this post about other Bible heroes who were a hot mess.
- Methuselah, the oldest man on earth, lived to be 969 years old. (Gen. 5:27 )
- God turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt because she disobeyed the angel and looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah while fleeing. (Genesis 19:26) This is one of the weirdest things in the Bible!
- Moses turned a rod into a snake, made his hand leprous, and turned water into blood. (Exodus 4:2-9)
- God smote the people of Ashdod with hemorrhoids “in their secret parts.” (1 Samuel 5:6-12) You gotta laugh!
- After striking the Philistines with hemorrhoids “in their secret parts,” God demanded they send Him five golden hemorrhoids as a “trespass offering.” (1 Samuel 6:4-5) This is one of the most shocking Bible verses!
- The Bible refers to both sea monsters and dragons. It says, “Praise the Lord from the earth, ye dragons.” (Psalm 148:7) Another reference says, “…the Lord will punish the gliding serpent Leviathan—the coiling serpent Leviathan—and he will kill the dragon that’s in the sea. (Isaiah 27:1)
- The Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah. Jonah was in the belly of a whale for three days and three nights. (Jonah 1:17)
- The big fish vomited (haha) out the prophet Jonah onto dry land after he had been in its belly for three days. (Jonah 2:10)
- Jesus fed 5000 men (plus women and children) with five loaves and two fishes. To top it off, there were 12 baskets left over. (Matthew 14:17-21)
- Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine. (John 2:9)
- Jesus cast demons into pigs. (Matthew 8:28-34) This is one of the weirdest things in the Bible, right?
- When Jesus died, “the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints” arose and entered the city. They were seen by many people. (Matthew 27:53-54) This is a crazy Bible verse! Wow!
- The ravens fed Elijah bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening” (1 Kings 17:6) Birds fed him!!
- This one is hilarious in a gross way. “Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh, and plunged it into the king’s belly. Even the handle sank in after the blade, and his bowels discharged. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed over it.” (Judges 3:21-22)
- Kids made fun of Elisha calling him “baldy” multiple times. Elisha called down a curse and immediately two bears came out and mauled 42 of the boys. (2 Kings 2:23-24) This is one of the weirdest Bible verses!
- King Solomon lived with 700 wives and 300 concubines. (1 Kings 11:3)
- People from Israel exchanged sandals as a symbol showing the transfer of property or the exchanging of goods had been finalized. (Ruth 4:7)
- Moses had to wear a veil over his face after receiving the Ten Commandments. His face was shining so brightly that no one could look at him. (Exodus 34:33-35)
- The iron point on Goliath’s spear was fifteen pounds in weight. (1 Samuel 17:7)
- The Israelites were allowed to consume insects like locusts, crickets, or grasshoppers for food. (Lev. 11:22) Yuck!
- The prophet Elijah laid down on top of a widow’s dead son, prayed to God, and brought him back to life. (1 Kings 17:21)
- There was no rain until Noah’s time. All plants were watered from streams coming up from the ground. (Genesis 2:5-6)
- Noah was 600 years old when he built the ark. He died when he was 950 years old. (Genesis 7:6 and Genesis 9:29)
- Two men, Elijah and Enoch, never died. God took them up to heaven. (2 Kings 2:11 and Genesis 5:23)
- A young David presented King Saul with 200 foreskins for the hand of his daughter, Princess Michal. (1 Samuel 18:25-27) Sorry, you have to explain the foreskins to your kids…
- Ezekiel had to bake his bread using human dung (poop) as fuel for the fire. (Ezekiel 1:1-16) Now that is gross!
- Jesus helped the apostle Peter pay his taxes by providing him with four coins from a fish’s mouth. (Matthew 17:24-26)
- God told Hosea to marry a sex worker. (Hosea 1:2) This is definitely one of the weirdest things in the Bible.
- God said not to eat any four-legged fowl. (Lev. 11:20,23) What? Four-legged foul?
- God grew a huge plant within minutes to shade Jonah from the heat. And then God sent a worm to eat the plant the next day. (Jonah 4:6)
- Elijah mocked Ahab and asked him if his god, Baal, was off relieving himself (pooping). (1 Kings 18:27)
- God dropped manna “bread from heaven” on the ground six days a week while the Israelites were in the desert. On the seventh day, it did not fall. (Exodus 16:15)
- Adam named all the animals on the earth. (Genesis 2:18-20) That’s a lot of animals!
- A pair of every species miraculously walked onto the ark at the same time. (Genesis 7:13-14) Think about this. When was the last time you got your cat to do…well, anything?
- God talked to Moses through a burning bush. (Exodus 3:4-16)
- The Bible refers to unicorns. “…he hath as it were the strength of a unicorn.” (Numbers 24:8)
- People were getting too smart for their own good (pride) so God changed their language. They could no longer talk to each other and devise evil plans (Gen. 11: 3-7).
- A man named Eutychus was sitting on a windowsill and fell asleep while listening to Paul preach. Oops. He fell out of the window and down three stories to his death. Don’t worry, Paul brought him back to life. (Acts 20: 7-9) Definitely, one of the weirdest things in the Bible that I have read.
- This is supposed to be a passionate passage between lovers. Check out what he says to her, “Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes, which have come up from their washing, all of which bear twins, and not one among them has lost her young.” (Song of Solomon 4:2) I’ll pass, thank you.
- This is the story of Eli the priest. Sadly, he broke his neck and died when he heard the Ark of the Covenant had been taken. What is humorous is the scripture mentions his weight.
“At the words, ‘Chest of God,’ Eli fell backward off his stool where he sat next to the gate. Eli was an old man, and very fat. When he fell, he broke his neck and died. He had led Israel for forty years.” (1 Samuel 4:18) Perhaps his weight is mentioned because he failed to discipline his children as well as himself.
46. The archangel Michael disputed with the devil about the body of Moses when he died. There seemed to be a burial issue over his bones (Jude 1:9).
47. Jehu, son of Nimshi, was said to “drive his chariot like a maniac” (2 Kings 9:20). Bad driving didn’t start in the 19th century!
48. Paul, the Apostle, wished his agitators would get castrated (Gal. 5:12 HCSB).
49. A young man following Jesus was only wearing a linen garment (underwear). When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind (Mark 14:52)
50 . Did you know God invented underwear, but He didn’t want Jeremiah to wash them? Yuck! “This is what the Lord said to me: ‘Go and buy yourself a linen undergarment and put it on, but do not put it in water.’ So I bought underwear as the Lord instructed me and put it on” (Jer. 13:1 HCSB).
51. This one is hilarious! Moses asked Aaron how the golden calf was created. Here’s his answer: “So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire and out came this calf!” (Exodus 32:24 NIV) And you thought your kids were creative!
52. The Bible says to “give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter” (Prov. 31:6). I agree. Beer should only be given to the dying. It’s nasty!
53. King Saul asked to find a woman who talked to dead people (medium) so he could bring the prophet Samuel back from the dead and ask him for advice (1 Sam. 28:7). Whaatt? Is there no one alive who can help?
54. What’s more amusing is that the medium did bring Samuel back from the dead. She was probably more surprised than anyone when she “saw a ghostly figure coming out of the earth.” The Bible says she screamed. (1 Samuel 28:12) I’m guessing she got more than she bargained for as most mediums are hucksters.
55. Jesus was hungry and passed by a fig tree; it had no fruit, so He cursed it. One curse, and whammy. The tree immediately withered (Matt. 28:18). That’s some serious cursing. Can you imagine zapping whatever you want with a few words?
What Are Some Funny Scriptures?
One of the funniest scriptures in the Bible is the story about Elijah being called “baldy” by a group of boys. Wow, they had no idea who they were talking to.
Here’s the scripture:
“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” (2 Kings 2:23)
Can you imagine making fun of one of the most powerful prophets ever? Yeah, that was not smart.
I must admit all the poop scriptures are kinda funny too. I taught Jr. High so I still have a bit of a kid mind when it comes to humor!
And the scripture where Aaron told Moses that he put gold jewelry in the fire and “poof,” out came a calf! (Ex 32:24) I wish I could have seen Moses’ face after that explanation.
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What the Bible Forbids
Truthfully, there are some weird rules in the Bible and most of them come from Leviticus and Deuteronomy.
Both of these books contain laws the Jews were to follow before Jesus’ time. They were legalistic, severe, and strange laws to prove they could never keep them. (This is why Jesus came.)
For instance, there were penalties for eating fat or not offering salt to God (Lev. 2:13 and 3:17), keeping your hair unkempt (Lev. 10:6), mixing fabrics in clothing (Lev. 19:19), getting tattoos (Lev. 19:28), eating seafood (ie. shrimp and lobster) without scales and fins ( Lev. 11:10-12), or trimming your beard (Lev. 19:27).
And lots of laws about sex. Basically, there were laws about every kind of weird sex you can imagine. This is a kid-friendly post so I will skip that part, but it’s there…For kicks, go read Deuteronomy 25:11-12.
Yep, I told you. This passage gets the award for the weirdest Bible verses in the Bible. Don’t share this one with your kids until they are older…much older.
I hope you enjoyed 55 of the weirdest things in the Bible. Hopefully, you had a few giggles. God is fun and full of surprises!
What’s one of the weirdest things in the Bible you have read? Comment below.
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