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If you struggle to get along with your spouse, why not try these 20 best tips for a successful marriage? Included are also biblical tips for a successful marriage. These secrets may seem counterintuitive at first, but they work!

I’ve been married for over 30 years, so I know what will make a marriage thrive and what will not work long-term.

So what works long term?

The number one marriage advice I can give couples is to put God first. Everything will fall into place if you will seek Him daily.

Why? When you are a reflection of Christ, you will see your spouse’s heart change (and yours, too).

How do you do this? Die to selfish behavior just as Christ died for the church, His bride.

If you are tired of doing things your way, try these 20 best tips for a successful marriage. It may seem difficult initially, but you will see positive changes for you both over time.

20 Best Tips For a Successful Marriage

Check out these 20 best tips for a successful marriage. I guarantee you will see a change in your relationship if you do these things.

By prioritizing your relationship and showing Christ’s love, you will build a solid and lasting marriage that will last a lifetime.

1. Respect each other

The secret to a happy marriage is to respect your spouse.  Value each other’s opinions and feelings, even if you disagree. This includes respecting each other’s boundaries and individual space.

Be especially careful about not cutting each other down, replying sarcastically, or publically humiliating each other. These behaviors are incredibly destructive to a marriage.

Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

RELATED: How to Deal with Difficult Family Members as Christians

2. Praise

Don’t nag or be negative; sing your spouse’s praises instead. You may not be a fan now, but you can find something they do well.

After all, you married this person for a reason. Keep emphasizing these positive things privately and publicly. Reinforcing good behavior will change how you treat each other.

RELATED: The #1 Secret to a Happy Marriage Is Not What You Think

3. Have intimacy

Make love regularly. Regularly is something you both need to define as a couple—probably once to twice a week is an excellent place to start.

Lack of sexual intimacy is a thermometer for the rest of the marriage. If you aren’t having sex, something is not right in the relationship. (Unless there is a health issue or some other extenuating circumstance.)

Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

conflict resolution pdf

Get your FREE CONFLICT RESOLUTION PDF to help you work through your most difficult conflicts.

4. Create a peaceful home

Make your home a place of refuge. It is hard to think or feel calm when the atmosphere is plagued with constant fights, nagging, and negativity.

Light candles, play soft music and speak in even tones. This will do a lot for your sanity!

RELATED: How to Create a Family Schedule and Keep Your Sanity

See also  How to Deal with Difficult Family Members and Overcome Hurt

5. Stay attractive

When the chase ends, we tend to get slightly lax on our appearance. Be vigilant about maintaining your health and generally taking good care of yourself.

This is how you snagged your spouse in the first place! They thought you were cute and married you. Men are predominantly visual, so what they see matters.

6. Play together

Typically, women like to “talk,” while men like to “do something.” Find something you both enjoy doing together.

Perhaps you walk around the block in the evenings, plant flowers together, or cook in the kitchen as a couple. You’ll be surprised what good conversations evolve when you are occupied with another task.

This is one of the best tips for a successful marriage…have fun!

7. Forgive each other

When two people live together, there are bound to be problems between you. You will inevitably irritate or even hurt each other. When this happens, work through what you can and then let the rest go.

Some things need professional help, like addictions, but for the most part, keep your mouth shut when you feel the need to remind your spouse the tenth time about the argument last week.

The best marriages are made of two very good forgivers. This is one of the best tips for a successful marriage.

Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”(NIV).

RELATED: Christian Marriage Advice: 10 Best Tips For a Christ-Centered Marriage

8. Communicate

Talk to each other every day. I’m not talking about surface stuff. Get honest with each other. Couples drift away when they don’t reconnect emotionally. Talk about work, kids, family, or whatever else is on your mind.

That means turning off the TV, shutting down the phone, and making the kids go to another room while you visit each other. I can’t tell you how important this is for your marriage. And your kids.

RELATED: How to Resolve Conflict in Marriage: 7 Biblical Ways to Healing

9. Embrace loyalty

One of the best tips for a successful marriage is to stay true to your relationship. This means you take extra care not to develop close friendships with the opposite sex, whether online, by text, or in person.

You don’t want to add adultery to your list of problems. Even if it is emotional adultery, it is still wrong.

Healthy marriage and family fightsDealing with marriage or family issues? Purchase your ebook or paperback on Amazon or buy Marriage Interrupted or Estranged at your favorite digital store.

10. Pray 

There is nothing greater than a spouse who consistently prays individually and together with you.

When praying individually, take scriptures and place his or her name in it. This way you are praying God’s words back to Him.  When praying together, genuinely seek God as a couple about decisions, family members, and world events.

Praying together is one of the best tips for a successful marriage; it unifies you as a couple.

RELATED: How to Change Your Husband Without Saying a Word

11. Work on yourself

If you want to have a successful marriage, work on yourself. Stay fit, find time for God, and keep improving mentally and emotionally.

See also  7 Secrets Tips When Christmas Is Stressful For Moms

There is nothing worse than watching a person stop growing. This leads to a mediocre life that does not reflect Jesus. You are worth loving yourself. This is the best marriage advice for any couple.

RELATED: How to Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself: 5 Ways to Move On

12. Compromise

Learn to compromise and find solutions that work for both of you. It’s not always about getting your way but finding a middle ground that satisfies both partners.

The world says to win at all costs. This does not work in a marriage relationship or any other place.

You are a team. You win together, or you lose together. Start thinking in terms of  “we,” not “me.”

13. Manage conflicts 

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. Learn to resolve conflicts calmly and respectfully. Focus on finding solutions rather than escalating arguments.

Show up as an adult and stop pouting, imploring the silent treatment, yelling, rolling your eyes, having tantrums, or any other childish behavior.

Behaving as an adult all the time will help you resolve issues much faster and help you find the best solution for you both.

RELATED: Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love

14. Grow together

Strive for personal growth and development and grow as a couple. I highly recommend you attend church together. Furthermore, find a great Sunday School class and make a couple of friends. Do things together with them.

We go on vacations, camping trips, and mission trips with other Christian couples. It is a great way to see how different people live together and even learn from them.

15 Celebrate

Celebrate your successes, milestones, and achievements together, cherishing your journey as a couple.

Remember to celebrate important holidays like Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and anniversaries. These times of remembrance will help you to rekindle old memories and make new ones as a couple.

16. Apologize

Be quick to apologize when you make mistakes or hurt each other, showing humility and a willingness to make amends. Pray for the Holy Spirit to convict your spouse when they have fallen short and are not repentant.

RELATED: The Power of Apologizing: 5 Reasons You Need to Say Sorry to Your Kids

17. Humor

Keep a sense of humor and laugh together. Develop inside jokes or references that only the two of you understand, creating a sense of intimacy and connection.

Look for the funny side of everyday life experiences, especially in challenging or stressful situations. This may be your lifesaver when life is hard.

RELATED: 37 Funny Mom Quotes and Sayings That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

18. Gratitude

Verbalize your love and appreciation for your partner regularly. Hearing these words can affirm your bond and strengthen your connection.

Add appreciation to your words and actions, and be a role model for gratitude. Your spouse will likely mirror your behavior.

19. Accept Jesus

Making any of the above suggestions is hard without Jesus as Lord and Savior. We naturally want to do things our way, give in to addictions, and tear down those who hurt us. While this feels good, it doesn’t work long term.

If you want a good marriage, let God change your heart and mind. Let Him renew your thinking by allowing the Holy Spirit to show you how to act.

See also  15 Proven Signs of a Healthy Marriage That Lasts

20. Seek Help

If you encounter persistent issues or challenges in your marriage, don’t hesitate to seek couples counseling, individual therapy, or join a marriage class at church. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights and tools for strengthening your relationship.

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tips for a successful marriage

How to Build a Healthy Marriage

I highly recommend these 20 best tips for how to build a healthy marriage.

Some of you may struggle with implementing these behaviors as they go against your natural tendencies.

I can tell you firsthand that your spouse will never respond well to negative tactics. Consider trying God’s way since He created marriage in the first place.

Try loving your spouse the way God asks you to love and leave the rest up to your Heavenly Father. (This does not include abuse. Abuse must be addressed and reported.)

Eventually, your spouse will start responding positively if you do your part. Don’t forget that marriage counseling is a great option to help you gain tools and act healthily.

What are your favorite tips for a successful marriage? Comment below. 

Are You Struggling to Have a Healthy Marriage? Do You Want to Change Your Spouse?

Get Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love on Amazon or any digital platform. This book is filled with humorous and impactful insights for anyone experiencing marriage conflict.

Included is biblical advice to help couples develop new behaviors and strengthen their marriage with healthy boundaries. With over 30 years of marriage experience, there are practical tips to overcome old patterns of behavior and rekindle a marriage relationship rooted in God’s love.

family estrangement

Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you struggling with family issues that have resulted in a family rift or a family estrangement? Are you feeling a sense of shame, anger, or rejection?  Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.

In it, I share my own experience of a seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and how we eventually reconciled. Furthermore, I provide practical advice to help you navigate your family issues. Don’t let the pain of estrangement hold you back. Allow God to assist you in healing, no matter what has happened within your family. Remember, there is always hope to be found, even when things seem to be falling apart.

A farm scene with a farmhouse upside down sitting on a grass field with a lake in the background. Creating Family Memories Book

Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family so that you have more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule, too. You can get it at your favorite digital bookstore.

Join the group Christian Family Living on Facebook

Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the Christian Family Living group. This is a place for Christian women to freely talk about parenting, marriage, faith, family, and culture. Being a Christian is hard! Let’s do it together. Most of all, a sense of humor is required. Got memes? Bring it on!

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Author

Julie is a wife, mom, teacher, author, and blogger. She writes about Christian family living, marriage, parenting with a touch of humor.

17 Comments

  1. I have been married for 12 years now and together for 24. All going good!

  2. Love all of these! God first #1! Praying with my husband is always my go to, even when we are in a disagreement. Also, appreciate all the resources! I really enjoyed reading this article.

  3. I would add “stay curious.” It’ so fun discovering new things together as we grow older 😀 Such a lovely reading.

    • Selene, I totally agree! You need to study your spouse and stay curious about how they think and feel about things. Learn from them. Thanks for your comment!

  4. We have been married for nine years already and have two young kids. Kids made our family life more fun and also more stressful. Thank you for the useful tips.

    • Olga, yes! Having kids is fun but can be stressful at times on the marriage. It is important to still put your spouse first even though your family has grown.

    • Angela, thanks for your comment. These 20 successful tips for a successful marriage really work if you apply them!

  5. Love this SO much Julie!! My hubby and I will be married 41 years next month. God helped save and heal our marriage and we both are so grateful to Him and have learned to yield big time to God and each other. Such a beautiful post, love ALL the tips. Thank you sweet sister … 🩷

    • Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Congratulations on your 41 years of marriage! God bless you.

  6. I appreciate the advice about making a peaceful environment in the home for a happy family. My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately since he’s always gone for work lately and I have to take care of the kids. I know he’s providing for the family, but we should probably do some counseling before things get worse in our marriage.

    • Taylor, this is a complicated situation. He needs to work, and you need the help. If you can’t afford a counselor, I recommend my book Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love. It has practical tips for resolving marriage conflicts. One of the best things you can start doing now is to pray for your husband. Ask God to show you a better way to approach him. Thanks for your comment.

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