Why wait until marriage to have sex? That is the question many teens are asking. Sadly, parents are not answering this question in a biblical way. Most parents have opted for the “safe sex” talk instead of going for abstinence.
They figure their kids are going to do it, so it is better to use protection than teach morals. Morals are out-dated and inconvenient.
Pin for later!
Morals take time and are hard to teach consistently. It requires the parents to be moral too. Otherwise, the parents are hypocrites. Also, parents are too busy working, attending sports events, and are too tired to reinforce something they may or may not believe themselves.
A long talk about sex, a condom, or birth control pills is quicker and gets the job done.
While I agree conversations about safe sex are warranted these days, your kids aren’t listening. Sadly, they don’t understand the real consequences of premarital sex, or why they should wait until marriage.
What Does the Bible Say About Waiting?
What does the Bible say about sex? Clearly, it says to wait until marriage. This makes teaching abstinence next to impossible if you don’t believe in the Bible. Parents can’t give a reason for waiting until marriage without going back to faith. Many parents don’t know the Bible or even believe the Bible to be true.
Because of this, there are no beliefs or values to pass down to their children. Parents don’t realize they are missing the truth. The truth about premarital sex. The kind of truth that never changes. The truth is teens and young adults should wait until marriage to have sex because it is the right thing to do. More importantly, God commands it.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body’s a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
What Are Our Kids Learning About Sex?
If nothing other than birth control is taught at home, then what are our kids learning? If you watch TV, go to the movies, or get online, you know what our kids are learning. (It’s not to wait until marriage.)
They are learning that sex doesn’t have consequences which is a lie. If it feels right, and you are old enough, then experiment. (And what age is “old enough.”)
Kids are told nothing bad is going to happen. It always works out in movies, TV, and social media. In fact, it is glamorized.
After the TV or movie is turned off, and the computer is shut down, the harsh reality is hitting our teens and young adults. And the reality is tragic.
The facts show premarital sex is harming, if not destroying, our kids. Many of you think this won’t happen to your child someday, yet these statistics show differently. It’s time to start telling your kids to wait until marriage.
What Are the Facts About Pre-Marital Sex?
Let me give you the facts. You can not argue with these. When you read this it will make you want to tell your kids to wait until marriage.
1. 50% of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned. 8 out of 10 teen pregnancies are unplanned.
2. 43% of all unplanned pregnancies will end in abortion.
3. 60 million abortions since 1973.
4. 18% failure rate of condoms – CDC.
5. 9% failure rate of the Pill -CDC.
6. 25% of Americans have an incurable STD.
7. 85% of Americans with herpes don’t know it.
8. 43% of teens did not use a condom the last time they had sex-CDC.
9. 41% of teens admit to having sexual intercourse-CDC.
10. 21% of teens used drugs or alcohol before the last sexual intercourse-CDC.
11. 1 in 4 girls will be pregnant at least once before the age of 20.
12. 1 in 4 teens will contract an STD every year.
13. $16,000- the cost to taxpayers for every teen birth
14. About 750,000 teens get pregnant each year.
15. The U.S. has the highest teen pregnancy rate and abortions in the world.
Why Teach Your Kids to Wait Until Marriage?
Here are 15 reasons why you should teach your kids to wait until marriage:
1. No fear of pregnancy.
2. No fear of sexual diseases or AIDS.
3. No emotional heartbreaks or rage over a betrayal.
4. No abortions.
5. No fear of getting caught or guilt.
6. No regrets.
7. No corruption of character.
8. Ensures the future of their unborn child to have a father at home someday.
9. Less stress on the family.
10. No ruined relationships.
11. No fear of raising a child as a teen.
12. No financial cost for birth control, abortion, or raising a child
13. No Post-Abortion trauma.
14. No risk of children “popping up” years later.
15. No risk of misunderstandings or rape charges.
Is Waiting Until Marriage Worth It?
If you ask people who have waited until marriage vs. people who have not waited, you will find those who had sex before marriage had regrets. I have yet to find someone who waited until marriage to have sex that had regrets.
God, in His mercy, forgives us if we don’t wait, but I fear no one is talking about the full spectrum of consequences. We already know about physical consequences-STDs, pregnancy, etc. However, what about the mental and emotional consequences that are happening to our kids when they give their most precious gift away on a random Friday night?
The trauma that kids are experiencing is something to give pause. There is almost an insanity when a teen couple breaks up after having sex. In fact, there is an obsession that happens –almost a possessiveness. And then an emotional breakdown when the other one moves on.
It is more than our kids were wired to handle. God thought so too. That’s why he says to wait. Not because He is boring, or mean. It’s for protection.
It’s like asking if it is better to swim with an alligator in a swamp or in a clear swimming pool. If you swim in the swamp, sooner or later you are going to lose a leg. Or worse. Unfortunately, no one quite understands that until they get into the swamp and feel the bite for themselves.
On the other hand, there are no liabilities if you wait until marriage. Sex was meant for a couple who has permanently bonded for life under a binding contract of marriage. Let me tell you, it is worth the wait.
Do you teach your kids to wait until marriage? What do you do?
Do You Have Big Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!
Are you experiencing family problems or even estranged? Are you feeling shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.
This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family, but it also gives solid tips to help you with your family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.
Creating Family Memories Book
Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite bookstore.
Join Christian Family Living Facebook Group
Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Family Living. This is a place for Christian women to share their experiences and get helpful tools to navigate the Christian life. We love to laugh, cry, and encourage each other to live out our faith one day at a time.