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15 Life-Altering Reasons For Your Teen to Wait Until Marriage

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Why wait until marriage to have sex? That is the question many teens are asking. Sadly, parents are not answering this question in a biblical way. Most parents have opted for the “safe sex” talk instead of going for abstinence.

They figure their kids are going to do it, so it is better to use protection than teach morals. Morals are out-dated and inconvenient.

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Morals take time and are hard to teach consistently.

It requires the parents to be moral too. Otherwise, the parents are hypocrites. Also, parents are too busy working, attending sports events, and are too tired to reinforce something they may or may not believe themselves.

A long talk about sex, a condom, or birth control pills is quicker and gets the job done.

While I agree conversations about safe sex are warranted these days, your kids aren’t listening. Sadly, they don’t understand the real consequences of premarital sex, or why they should wait until marriage.

RELATED: 35 Best Tips For Positive Parenting You Don’t Want to Miss

What Does the Bible Say About Waiting?

What does the Bible say about sex? Clearly, it says to wait until marriage. This makes teaching abstinence next to impossible if you don’t believe in the Bible. Parents can’t give a reason for waiting until marriage without going back to faith. Many parents don’t know the Bible or even believe the Bible to be true.

Because of this, there are no beliefs or values to pass down to their children. Parents don’t realize they are missing the truth. The truth about premarital sex. The kind of truth that never changes. The truth is teens and young adults should wait until marriage to have sex because it is the right thing to do. More importantly, God commands it.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body’s a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

RELATED: How to Have Healthy Family Relationships When Your Family Is a Mess

What Are Our Kids Learning About Sex?

If nothing other than birth control is taught at home, then what are our kids learning? If you watch TV, go to the movies, or get online, you know what our kids are learning. (It’s not to wait until marriage.)

They are learning that sex doesn’t have consequences which is a lie. If it feels right, and you are old enough, then experiment. (And what age is “old enough.”)

Kids are told nothing bad is going to happen. It always works out in movies, TV, and social media. In fact, it is glamorized.

After the TV or movie is turned off, and the computer is shut down, the harsh reality is hitting our teens and young adults. And the reality is tragic.

The facts show premarital sex is harming, if not destroying, our kids. Many of you think this won’t happen to your child someday, yet these statistics show differently. It’s time to start telling your kids to wait until marriage.

RELATED: Positive Parenting Tips: 6 Things Parents Do To Have Successful Teens

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What Are the Facts About Pre-Marital Sex?

Let me give you the facts. You can not argue with these. When you read this it will make you want to tell your kids to wait until marriage.

1. 50% of all pregnancies in the US are unplanned. 8 out of 10 teen pregnancies are unplanned. 

2. 43% of all unplanned pregnancies will end in abortion.

3. 60 million abortions since 1973.

4. 18% failure rate of condoms – CDC.

5. 9% failure rate of the Pill -CDC.

6. 25% of Americans have an incurable STD.

7. 85% of Americans with herpes don’t know it.

8. 43% of teens did not use a condom the last time they had sex-CDC.

9. 41% of teens admit to having sexual intercourse-CDC.

10. 21% of teens used drugs or alcohol before the last sexual intercourse-CDC.

11. 1 in 4 girls will be pregnant at least once before the age of 20.

12. 1 in 4 teens will contract an STD every year.

13. $16,000- the cost to taxpayers for every teen birth

14. About 750,000 teens get pregnant each year. 

15. The U.S. has the highest teen pregnancy rate and abortions in the world. 

RELATED: How to Pray for Your Child in Your War Room

Why Teach Your Kids to Wait Until Marriage?

Here are 15 reasons why you should teach your kids to wait until marriage:

1. No fear of pregnancy.

2. No fear of sexual diseases or AIDS.

3. No emotional heartbreaks or rage over a betrayal.

4. No abortions.

5. No fear of getting caught or guilt.

6. No regrets.

7. No corruption of character.

8. Ensures the future of their unborn child to have a father at home someday.

9. Less stress on the family.

10. No ruined relationships.

11. No fear of raising a child as a teen.

12. No financial cost for birth control, abortion, or raising a child

13. No Post-Abortion trauma.

14. No risk of children “popping up” years later.

15. No risk of misunderstandings or rape charges. 

Is Waiting Until Marriage Worth It?

If you ask people who have waited until marriage vs. people who have not waited, you will find those who had sex before marriage had regrets.

I have yet to find someone who waited until marriage to have sex that had regrets.

Not one.

Ever.

God, in His mercy, forgives us if we don’t wait, but I fear no one is talking about the full spectrum of consequences. We already know about physical consequences-STDs, pregnancy, etc.

However, what about the mental and emotional consequences that are happening to our kids when they give their most precious gift away on a random Friday night?

The trauma that kids are experiencing is something to give pause. There is almost an insanity when a teen couple breaks up after having sex. In fact, there is an obsession that happens –almost a possessiveness. And then an emotional breakdown when the other one moves on.

It is more than our kids were wired to handle. God thought so too. That’s why he says to wait. Not because He is boring, or mean. It’s for protection.

It’s like asking if it is better to swim with an alligator in a swamp or in a clear swimming pool. If you swim in the swamp, sooner or later you are going to lose a leg. Or worse. Unfortunately, no one quite understands that until they get into the swamp and feel the bite for themselves.

On the other hand, there are no liabilities if you wait until marriage. Sex was meant for a couple who has permanently bonded for life under a binding contract of marriage.

Let me tell you, it is worth the wait.

Do you teach your kids to wait until marriage? What do you do?

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80 thoughts on “15 Life-Altering Reasons For Your Teen to Wait Until Marriage”

  1. Thank you for posting this!
    A while ago I commented here, but it seems my comment got deleted somehow, don’t know what happend.
    My daughter is a lesbian and I am not sure what to do about it regarding marriage. Because there is no risk of getting pregnant unwanted and too early, having an abortion or getting STDs, since she is in a relationship with a tested friend of hers, there seems to be no downside to having sex befor marriage for her. But still I am not sure if she shouldn’t wait anyway, since it will probably end in a drama when the first relationship turns out to be not the one forever…. How do you think i should handle this and talk to my daughter in situation?
    Thank you!

    1. Hi Aileen,
      Thanks for your comment. First of all, I’m not sure what kind of relationship you have with your daughter. Did you take her to a Bible-believing church when she was growing up? Do either of you have a fundamental understanding of the Bible? I would have to talk to you more to be able to clearly direct you in the right manner. I would suggest you start reading the Bible and Google homosexuality and what God says. What God says is better than anything I can say. I think it will help you to address your question. Additionally, you need to think about how much she will listen. Many times, families become estranged when too much is said. If she is an adult, I would start praying and fasting. More is accomplished with these 2 things than anything. I hope you will continue to love your daughter no matter what.

  2. This is how I raised my son and daughter. My daughter actually became a missionary and didn’t date at all until she met someone from her church that she thought was mature and responsible enough to make a good husband. I taught them both that you can find love in many ways. Being of service to others is another way for people to share love.

  3. This is a bbbeeeeaaauuuuttttyyyyyyyyyy of an article! All points are to the “T” and it strongly emphasises getting back to our “moral compass” that we try so much to hold on to. Thanks honey, for this one!

  4. I love your thoughts on this unconventional topic/blog post. I have to agree with your thoughts though. Explaining about abstinence is indeed far more challenging than discussing about safe sex. With good morals, example is the best teacher. With something academic, it’s just presenting facts.

    1. You are so right. Morality is much more complicated. It means you have to be an example if you are going to teach it. If you aren’t willing to act in a moral way, it is all lost. Thanks for your comment.

  5. Wow. This is sort of a controversial topic. I admire your choices and point-of-view! I love how you provided statistics, because the factual approach can sometimes get people to see things from your shoes. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    1. Lavanda, it is a controversial subject, but one that must be brought to light. I think it is important to let people know ALL the facts before they make a decision. The problem is that unless you have any type of encounter with God, it is hard to stay on track with abstinence. The pull is just so hard in the other direction.

  6. I love this post and you share many of my same views on parenting and not having sex before marriage. I teach my girls to live according to the bible but also to value themselves as women who are worth having a man who will love and cherish them enough to wait until marriage.

    1. Brandi, this is so important to bring up. Teaching our girls to value themselves as women is of the utmost importance. Having a biblical perspective wrapped in this idea makes it all possible. Thanks for your comment.

  7. I believe the church needs to discuss all aspects of sex (not just intercourse and consequences). I feel like I got mixed messages growing up, so I dealt with a lot of shame and fear around sex. It has taken me years to recover, and I honestly wasn’t sure what I would teach my own kids.

    However, I do think there are plenty of reasons to wait that don’t have anything to do with the Bible. I will educate my kids as best as I can, and teach them and pray they are led by the Holy Spirit. I don’t want to over or under-emphasize sex.

    1. I’m sorry for the pain you experienced growing up. It sounds like the emotional scars are still there from things that happened years ago. I wish there were a way to not shame teens, but still help them see what kind of pain it causes long term. Teens are naturally attracted to the forbidden fruits, so it is hard to lovingly and firmly get this message through. I do believe abstinence is next to impossible to teach without a loving and growing relationship with Jesus. There’s no reason to wait unless you have a deep faith in something greater than yourself.

  8. Terri Beavers

    I agree it is important for us to teach our children to wait until marriage. I know in today’s world it is hard but you just have to pray that our children will listen and stick with what we as parents teach them.

  9. Yes! This is so important and we need to be making sure we are teaching Biblical principles. God gave us His commands to protect us.

  10. This is such an important topic and I loved reading your take on it! I fully agree with everything you said and plan to teach my children this way once they are old enough.

  11. Some interesting facts here indeed! You make some really interesting points and I agree about this being a not very popular decision. I think lives to short to ait – we should enjoy life whilst we are here!

    1. Rachel, you are definitely not alone in your beliefs. I saw you are becoming a clinical psychologist. I hope you will keep my article in the back of your mind when you hear people’s stories. Over the years you are going to see the damage of premarital sex over and over again with your patients. Taking that one element out would significantly cut down on the treatment for post abortion trauma, abandonment by a partner or parent, depression due to STD or AIDS, guilt, loss of relationships, raising a child as a single parent, low income issues or poverty, lack of education, and etc. Most of these can be traced back to the root problem which is not waiting until marriage.
      I know it’s fun, but the risk outweighs the reward long term. Waiting is for your protection. I hope you will reconsider. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate you being candid.

  12. I totally agree with what you said. This is how I am raising my boys. There is nothing wrong with teaching our children that viewing marriage the way God intended is a blessing.

  13. This article says it perfectly. I’m nervous for when my daughter becomes a teenager. The media is already so pro-sex, I can’t imagine what it will be like later on down the road. I’m hoping that if I can show my daughter an example of a great marriage, keep her love for the church strong, and always her to remember that God’s plan for us is what’s best, then we will be alright!

    1. McKayla, I pray you will lovingly be able to train your daughter to wait. Not because God doesn’t like sex, but because He thought it should be sacred and protected. Thanks for your comment.

  14. Glad I was able to read this post. Learned a lot specially in knowing that indeed, feelings don’t make for a good moral compass. Feelings change hourly. I have five boys and perhaps it isn’t just husband’s task to orient them about this, all the more I should be open about this kind of topic to them. Thank yoi for coming up with this article.

    1. Berlin, moms usually spend way more time with their kids than dads. When kids are old enough, it is important to start training them morally. Not just sexually, but in every area of their lives.
      I hope this will spur you on to finding ways to inject truth in their lives. You are training their heart every day whether you realize it or not.
      Thanks for reading.

  15. Glad I was able to read this post. Learned a lot specially in knowing that indeed, feelings don’t make for a good moral compass. Feelings change hourly. I have five boys and perhaps it isn’t just husband’s task to orient them.about this, all the more I should be open.about this kind of topic to.them.

    1. Berlin, thanks for your comment. I hope you will have a chance to talk to your boys often about how to treat a woman. Nothing like hearing it from their mom. Thaks for your comment.

  16. Thank you so much for putting this out there. It isn’t talked about very much, but is something that every parent and teens need to hear.

    1. Katie, thank you for your comment. Waiting for marriage definitely needs to be discussed with your kids. Developing a moral compass is something that is done on a daily basis.

  17. What a great read, I couldn’t agree more. Remaining abstinent was one of the most precious gifts I gave my husband on our wedding night. I will for sure instill waiting until marriage into my children as well.

  18. These numbers look scary. I guess parents would do anything to protect their children from the downsides of sex. I think it’s how you convey the idea to wait is the most important – it’s something wonderful that you should cherish until you find the person you love, not because of the scary consequences may or may not happen.

    1. Yes, Carrie, I agree. Waiting is the right thing to do. I definitely don’t think you can scare someone into it. It has to be a core belief. Thanks for your comment.

  19. Interactive pictures. Nice content filled with facts. Never read a blog talking about such issues before. Helped me relate decisions regarding marriage. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. Nik, I am glad you were able to read this information. It is hard to tell people about this in person. It is something to ponder and research before you go too far. Thanks for your comment.

  20. I hope you don’t get any negative comments on this! This was a great read and I really appreciate you bringing up this topic so bravely and confidently! This is definitely a very emotional subject for people and it does need to be talked about with our kids! Thank you for sharing!

    1. Elisa, surprisingly, I have gotten a lot of positive comments. It is definitely a difficult subject to talk about but it must be discussed. Thanks for your comments.

  21. Good for you in writing this post and teaching your children good christian values. You are not alone with these values even though they are not popular.

    1. Candy, thanks so much for your support. I am actually surprised by the positive comments. I figured a lot of people would be quite upset by the very archaic thoughts. Thanks for the comment.

  22. this is such a great point of a view and i honestly feel like it is amazing that you are teaching your kids this.
    i do feel like it is a personal decision, my mom was more about, are you ready to handle what comes with all of this.
    why don’t you wait until you are ready?
    she made me feel like there wasn’t a contest or something you need to cross off and while i didnt wait until marriage i did wait until i was in a place i was emotionally ready. thanks for this though.

    1. Andrea, thanks for your comments. I appreciate your thoughts. Waiting is hard to do. I know most people don’t these days. I am grateful you did not have a bad experience.

    1. Yes. I know many people will have different thoughts on the subject. The stats make you think twice about what you are teaching your kids though. Thanks for your input, Laura.

  23. I was raised with these principles as well. Good statistics for sure. There are lots of reasons why waiting to have intercourse is a good choice. Personally, I feel like there should be more of a balance in how this topic is approached without children. As someone who was told not to have sex before marriage over & over again, I don’t know that I was fully equipped for all that my hormones would cause my body to feel the first time I was in a situation with a guy I was attracted to. Because all I heard was “don’t do it” “it’s bad” “guard your heart” I was quickly met with shame when I crossed lines I shouldn’t have. Having learned the hard way why waiting for marriage can be a good thing, I look forward to talking with my kids about this from a relationship point of view. The loss of a relationship after having sex can be devastating & that is something you don’t hear enough about. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on such a controversial topic.

    1. I’m sorry your experience was hard for you. I think parents are just trying to tell their kids there is an alligator in the water so don’t jump in the lake. We see all these other people who already have missing arms and legs who have been in the water. We don’t want our kids to have the same thing happen to them.
      It is all about relationship with your child. If there is only a bunch of commands, and not relationship between parent and child, then it is hard to do much but watch your child get devoured.

  24. Jubilee D Meyer

    I definitely agree with this. There is just to much at stake to be having sex in high school, and that’s even if I didn’t factor in my personal beliefs

  25. I honestly don’t mind teaching kids to wait until marriage, and I also don’t think you should have any negative comments. You are allowed to teach your kids what you think is right for them and everyone has their opinion, so don’t let it get to you.

  26. I think it also has to do with culture. I never got the talks from my parents and here I am a 21 year old waiting until marriage because that is just what my culture is about.

  27. I was taught about these things & I can definitely say I will do the same with my children when I have them!

  28. While I may not agree with all of the points you mention, I always find it interesting to learn about other people’s point of view. It’s the only way to have respectful discourse. In today’s climate, being able to have a respectful debate on issues from opposite sides in severely lacking.

    1. Mireille, I appreciate your comment. I’d love to know what part is disagreeable to you. I would gladly change parts of this if you would help me out here. I’d love to hear your perspective. Or atleast your rebuttal would be posted here for people to read.

  29. I actually posted a similar post on my blog but I was more Christian based and you have no idea how much this post means to me right now. This is amazing , people weren’t too happy in the comment section but these things need to be learnt. The bible says train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows up, he shall not depart from it. Thank you for this xo

    1. I am so glad for a positive comment. You may be the only one! I have been bracing myself all day for the negativity. Last time I posted something about waiting, women were not happy at all. It is amazing how emotional this subject is for everyone. Women don’t want to give up premarital sex. Thanks for reading.

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