What Does It Mean to Wallow In Self-Pity?
I’m coming out of the closet. I am a wallower. Like many people, I struggle with self-pity. Self-pity can be something as simple as pouting for a day to a full-blown meltdown.
I find meltdowns are unbecoming. I tend to lean on the pouting side. My pouting has manners. I don’t like to yell and scream. I quietly wallow in my sorrow letting every detail pour through my mind like a warm, chocolate sauce. Reveling in the gooey details of why I am right.
It can last for days on end. If you are a wallower, you know where I am going with this. You run every scenario in your head over and over wondering how someone ELSE could be so insensitive. Or how this or that could have actually happened to ME. The mind gets stuck on the same people and the same dialogue for days.
It’s actually quite addicting. It’s somewhat like a drug. For those of you who don’t get this, it’s like an animal that wallows in the mud slowly for pleasure. Yeah, a pig.
Picture a pig because that’s about where I used to go with this whole wallowing thing. I would find myself rolling around in self-pity; meanwhile, nothing changed because I was too stuck in my pain to move.
Changing the Habit
I realized this about myself maybe 10 years ago. I REALIZED this about 10 years ago, but changing this habit has taken a lot of time. It’s always there. “Piggy” is still sitting in my head laying dormant. I just don’t allow him out very often. And he doesn’t get muddy anymore.
Here are 4 suggestions I use to help keep piggy locked up :
1.) Allow a little time to feel the pain. Feel the pain and work through the situation. Journal. Talk to a friend about it or get some advice. Go to a counselor if you feel stuck and can’t get through the situation.
2.) Decide you did the best you could. If you can do anything differently change it or make amends. Don’t leave anything on your side undone. We only have a certain amount of power in a situation. Take responsibility for your part only.
3). Move on. The most difficult step is to forgive yourself when necessary and release the situation to God. Pray for wisdom on how to handle things in the future. Quit thinking about it and move on.
4). Volunteer. It helps to practice gratitude. Giving back makes you realize there are other people out there who have worse things happening to them. It moves the focus away from you and puts it on others.
Get On With It
If you are a wallower like me, I urge you to “get on with it.” Use these tools to move yourself to a new look at life and a new you. Being free from the sadness is so much better than wallowing. It’s just not worth it. Doing these 4 suggestions have worked for me. It keeps “piggy” sound asleep.
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