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5 Awesome Hacks to Get Rid of Self-Pity Once and For All

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Do you struggle with self-pity? Kind of embarrassing to admit, huh? I mean who wants to admit they have this ongoing conversation in their head going on all day and night.

Perhaps, like me,  you run every scenario in your head over and over again wondering how someone ELSE could be so insensitive.

Or how this or that could have actually happened.

Maybe your mind gets stuck on the same people and the same dialogue until it is an obsession. Before you know it, you have given your power over to another person without realizing it. Ugh!

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Woman with a hat walking outside in the grass. 5 Awesome Hacks to Get Rid of Self-Pity Once and For All

Truthfully, self-pity can be addicting. Once you start, it is hard to stop unless you decide to stop consciously. Everyday. And replace it with something good.

In this post, I will give you 5 tips to help you stop your self-pity for good and move past the hard times. You don’t have to be caught in a cycle of unforgiveness and anger. You can be free again.

Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart

Purchase this book on Amazon or your favorite digital store. 

5 Awesome Hacks to Get Rid of Self-Pity Once and For All

You don’t have to live in self-pity. There are things you can do to move on from the hard times in your life. Check out out these 5 tips to help you get free.

1.)  Stop ruminating. It does no good to play the same situation over and over again making the same arguments in your mind so you will be ready at a moment’s notice to respond with your points. Realize that you are allowing others to steal your joy and peace when you do this. Don’t let other people hijack your brain.

2). Release the situation to God. The most difficult step is to release everything to God and move on. Decide not to take the problem out of His hands and worry. It may help to journal your feelings as a form of release. Or talk to an empty chair and say everything you need to say out loud.

RELATED: How to Quickly Overcome a Failure or Loss

3.) Forgive those who have hurt you. Forgive yourself, others, and God for anything that is still causing bitterness. Don’t leave anything on your side undone. Realize you only have a certain amount of power in a situation. In fact, you are only responsible for you, nothing more.

RELATED: 5 Burning Reasons Why You Need to Forgive Those Who Hurt You

4). Choose gratitude/give back. Replace your self-pity with gratitude. This helps move the focus away from you and on to others. Every time you start feeling sorry for yourself, start naming all the things you are grateful for in your life.

You can go a step further and volunteer. This will help you to realize there are other people who are hurting and have difficult problems too. The point is to get outside of yourself and be other-focused.

RELATED: Community Service Project: The Best Way to Bond as a Family

5.) Prayer. Every time you start to fall back into a pattern of self-pity, stop yourself. Give it to God instead. Pray for God to calm your heart and soothe your mind. Give Him your pain instead. He knows and understands you deeply and intimately. Ask God to restore your joy.

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Prayer to Help You Overcome Self-Pity

Here is a prayer to help you stop the constant stirring in your mind:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for loving and caring for me. You alone know my deep hurts, frustrations, and feelings of rejection concerning  (the situation). I ask that you would help me to change what I can, forgive those who have hurt me, and release the rest to You.

Thank you for giving me the power to lay this problem down at the cross. When I am tempted to take it back and worry or churn, please remind me You are in control of the situation. In fact, I can rest in You. Thank you, Lord, that I can trust you to work in ways I never dreamed possible.

Help me to put my mind at ease and claim Philippians 4: 8 which says to think on things that are true, right, pure, noble, and lovely. Let my mind be fixed on You and Your words. Not mine. If I need to think about the situation, give me the right thoughts that include a solution. But nothing more until then. Please help me to praise you in this situation even though I don’t know how to solve it.

Thank you that  I can put my mind at ease and move on with my life. Restore to me the joy of your salvation.

In Jesus Name,


Release Self-Pity For Good

In conclusion, releasing self-pity is one of the most freeing things you can do. You no longer have to harbor anger, resentment, or bitterness in your heart. And your mind no longer has to go in circles trying to figure out how to do things differently. It is time to overcome the pain with these five truths and move on with your life for good.

Do You Have Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you experiencing family problems or even estranged? Are you feeling shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store. 

This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family, but it also gives solid tips to help you with your own family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.

Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart book with a single tree on the book

Creating Family Memories Book

Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids.  It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite bookstore.

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Join Christian Family Living Facebook Group

Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Family Living. This is a place for Christian women to share their experiences and get helpful tools to navigate the Christian life. We love to laugh, cry, and encourage each other to live out our faith one day at a time.

3 thoughts on “5 Awesome Hacks to Get Rid of Self-Pity Once and For All”

  1. Yes! I often say (and think): “Good things rarely happen by accident.” Being intentional is so important! And somsetimes you have to do these steps over and over for the same situation before you can even feel your heart begin to shift, but the Lord will help you get there.

  2. I love your posts. You could be talking about something serious and I still find myself smiling and chuckling over your sweet sense of humor that is sprinkled throughout your writings. So true! Being free from the sadness is so much better than wallowing! ❤

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