School Safety: How Women Can Reverse School Violence
If you are a parent, sooner or later you are going to deal with school safety. It is a terrible subject no one really wants to talk about, yet it is becoming a weekly occurrence. The frequency of shootings is an ugly reminder that we don’t have control. In fact, we don’t even know why it is happening.
I can’t begin to give you all the reasons why it is happening, but I can point you to two undisputed facts about most of the shooters.
The two things most mass shooters have in common is they are boys, and they come from fatherless homes or a broken relationship with the father. If you are a woman reading this, you might be thinking, “Those sorry men. They just need to get their stuff together.”
Perhaps you blame it on the usual suspects-guns, mental illness, or politicians. Yes, they are part of the problem, but I would ask you to expand your thinking.
In this post, we will explore the ways women can help reverse school violence. You will be surprised how your actions can make a difference long term just by your choices.
Who or What is to Blame for School Violence?
Are guns or mental illness the problem of school violence? Heaven knows the gun laws could be tweaked, and anyone who shoots up a school has serious mental issues. But my question to you is a simple one: Once we add more laws for guns and rules for mental illness, do you think the school violence will end?
We already have an enormous amount of laws about guns to make people behave, yet shooters don’t care. Frankly, I don’t think the genie is going back in the bottle unless we change our values as a society. The gun doesn’t shoot, it is the shooter and his moral compass.
The real problem with school violence is the moral shift in our country. Frankly, we lack morals and values as a society. I have observed this decline slowly in the classroom as a teacher and in our culture over the last thirty years. (In my research, I found it’s actually been going on longer than thirty years.)
In order to look at this gradual shift, it is important to go back and review the legislation and social issues that have changed in the last sixty years.
Specifically, let’s work backward and ask why we have so many fatherless children.
What Happened 1960-1980?
The Sexual Revolution
Two things happened to push us into a new “sexual revolution.” First, in 1960, the birth control pill came out. This gave men and women new freedom to have sex without consequence or so we thought. We no longer had to be married to enjoy the “forbidden fruit.”
Sex became more of a recreation than a commitment. And the product…many more children born out of wedlock.
Second, there was a major shift with the legalization of abortion. In 1973, the Supreme Court decision of Roe v. Wade made abortion legal. This allowed a woman to abort a baby before giving birth, devaluing the sanctity of life.
Unfortunately, most states allow abortion up until about 24 weeks or viability, although the laws are changing.
In 1969, Ronald Reagan signed a bill making California the first state to allow couples to divorce without proof of any fault on the part of the other spouse.
The laws used to make a spouse list a reason such as abandonment, adultery, cruelty or some other acceptable term as a reason for the divorce to be granted.
Since the California ruling, many other states have followed suit.
Some states even offer a No-Fault Divorce and No Waiting Period. This has made divorce quick and convenient. It is almost treated like a drive-through McDonalds instead of a covenant for life.
Most of the time, the mother gets custody, and the father gets visitation rights on the weekends, summers, and holidays thus removing the father from a child’s daily life.
What Has Happened in Our Schools?
On June 25, 1962, the US Supreme Court decided in Engel v. Vitale to take prayer out of the public schools. In 1963, the Court no longer allowed Bible readings before class due to two lawsuits, Murray v. Curlett and Abington School District v. Schempp.
In 1971, there was a religious test called the Lemon test (named after the case Lemon v. Kurtzman) which further separated God from the classroom. It stated 3 criteria for sponsoring state activities.
This closed even more loopholes in the system making it difficult to be a Christian practicing anything religious on a school campus.
10 Commandments Removed
It is pretty clear from these laws God has been eliminated from our schools. He is no longer welcome.
But…somehow teachers are still supposed to make sure kids do not cheat, lie, steal, or even kill without talking about values or reinforcing them with any type of curriculum.
Hmm. Craziest lesson plan on the planet-don’t teach it, but expect them to know it! If we had that philosophy teaching science, math, or English they would throw every teacher out the door, pronto.
Our Culture 60 Years Later
Now let’s look at the statistics for the laws that have been put in place the last 50-60 years.
The Sexual Revolution
In 1960, only 5 percent of children were born out of wedlock. As of 2016, the statistics by state go all the way up to 53.2 percent of children are born to unmarried mothers. This is according to the CDC.
Most likely, the father plays a minor role in the child’s life when the couple is not married. Hence, our boys have no daily interaction with a father to teach them how to be a man.
That’s 3,657 abortions daily and 152 an hour. Whether you believe in abortion or not, this is a lot of babies terminated.
We have aborted about 18% of our American population. The abortion rights activists have given us permission to devalue life.
And so we have. Life is no longer precious. Unfortunately, most abortions are used as a method of birth control for “accidents.” Only a small number(1%-3%) are actually done to save a mother’s life or in the case of rape.
STD’s are at a record high, according to the CDC. An epidemic is accelerating in multiple populations. In 2017, there were 1.59 million new cases of chlamydia, 468,514 new cases of gonorrhea, and 27,814 new cases of syphilis.
628 babies were born last year with congenital syphilis. (The mother transferred syphilis to the baby.) Also, in 2017, HIV infections jumped by more than 50% in some states.
Sadly, all of this would be avoided if we still believed in waiting until marriage, but that thought is too archaic and prude. In fact, many think there is something wrong with you if you haven’t indulged.
School Safety Problems
Since faith in God and prayer guidance have been removed from our schools, school safety has become an issue in America. In fact, last year ( 2018 ) was the worst year for school shootings. This year (2019) there have already been 15 school shootings.
Over 228,000 kids have been affected by a school shooting since Columbine in 1999.
If we aren’t teaching any morals or values in the classroom or acknowledging God, then why would we expect our kids to have any morals, values, or beliefs?
Divorce Rate In America
The divorce rate in America as of 2017 is between 40%-50%. The statistics are hard to measure because there are fewer people getting married, so there are fewer divorces. Most people just live together…until they don’t.
Often women get caught in a bad relationship and don’t know how to get out. These unwise decisions directly affect her children.
The result is our families are now fractured. There is no male role model in the home. Most of the time the father only gets to see the kids on the weekends. And the parents are no longer working together to raise the child on a united front. Family values are antiquated.
Because of divorce, you will often find the parents one-upping each other, kids manipulating the parents, different rules at each parent’s house, and entitlement issues.
Check out this infographic that shows the overwhelming statistics connecting fatherless children with violence, drugs, mental illness, suicide, prison, and dropping out of school. So how can women help fix this problem? I am glad you asked!
Related: Do You Have an Entitled Teen?
There Are 5 Ways Women Can Help With School Safety
1. Wait until marriage to have sex.
Don’t click off yet. Be open-minded here…If you wait until marriage to have sex, you will avoid STD’s (and other diseases), pregnancy, or a possible abortion.
I don’t think women realize they have most of the liabilities, and men have most of the rewards when it comes to sexuality. Women are the ones left “holding the bag” when things don’t go as planned.
This is why God designed sex for marriage. When you step out of those boundaries there will be consequences in some way. Waiting is the only safe way to avoid great harm to yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Unfortunately, once two people have started being intimate, the emotions are too hard to untangle and reverse. It is possible, just difficult.
2. Choose your man wisely when you marry
Choose a godly man for your life partner. He will not only be your soul mate, but he will be more involved with your kids. Not waiting risks the future of your unborn child.
I am sure most women don’t want the dude who was a one-night-stand to be the father of her child, yet many women make that gamble every day. Even a committed but unmarried relationship is not really committed.
Your man has not committed financially to help you if you get pregnant. He can walk away anytime. Pretty big risk if you think about it. Ask yourself if you deserve better. I believe you do! You are worth being protected in every way.
3. Teach your children morals and values.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Raise your children to have morals and values. Live by these principles as a family.
Say “no” to your child when you think he should not be at a party or with certain people. He or she needs you to be the adult here, and do the right thing. Hanging out with the wrong crowd leads to drugs and alcohol, and it opens the door for casual sex and unwanted pregnancy.
4. Encourage the father role
The role of dad cannot be stressed enough in your children’s lives. He is the stabilizing factor in the family. Boys especially need a father as a role model on how to be a man.
If you are divorced, do not try to cut the father out of your kid’s life unless he is absolutely unsafe. You will be sorry if you do this. If the father is not available, find a good male role model for your kids.
Most of all, pray for the father of your children. It doesn’t matter if you are married to him or not. He still has a vital impact on you and your kids.
5. Stay married, if possible
It’s more beneficial if both parents live in the home. Get help if you have marriage problems. Try to work through your issues instead of just giving up immediately. I realize this may be impossible for some people due to infidelity or physical abuse.
Start praying for your marriage. Ask God to change your spouse. It may mean a time of counseling or separation, but it is worth it to hang in there and work on the issues.
You Can Reverse the Trend
What is more important is to reverse this fatherless trend. Pray for your husband, the father of your children. And pray for protection over your kids every day.
Our families are under attack. It’s time to stand up and do everything we can to raise our sons to be godly men and our daughters to be godly women. Teach your kids morals and values. Help them follow Jesus so the next generation can reverse this trend.
Related: How to Pray for Your Children
Book on Family Estrangement: A Christian Point of View
Are you experiencing family problems? Perhaps you and a loved one are no longer speaking. Don’t go another day without reading this book. It addresses family problems and estrangement from a biblical point of view. Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart is on Amazon or in your favorite digital store.
Get Creating Family Memories for FREE in exchange for your email. If you get this book, it will help you build a good relationship with your kids so that when the hard times come (teen years), you will be able to weather the storm.
Scroll down or look to the side to sign up. You can also get it at your favorite bookstore.
Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Parenting and Family. This is a place for moms with preschool age kids or older to talk about their struggles with parenting, family life, education, or marriage.
You will find biblically based advise from other moms who want to raise godly kids.
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