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If you are a Christian parent, you understand the importance of family values. Moral decay has generally affected our society, but it is most evident in our young people.

Let’s face it: our world has changed. What our kids encounter daily is not comparable to what we faced years ago. The importance of family values is not what it used to be. Many people today don’t even care about family values.

As parents, how do we start breaking down the world’s lies and impart truth meaningfully without coming across as out of touch, severe, preachy, or unapproachable?

Before I answer these questions, let’s take a walk down memory lane. Tracing back the importance of family values, research shows the decline started at a specific period.

You can see a clear connection between the change in laws and the moral decline of the nuclear family.

Why Are Family Values So Important to Society?

The importance of family values can not be overstated when looking at the laws of our society.

Our laws reflect the thoughts of the people in the land. Statistically, the decline of the American family started in the 1960s and 1970s, about the same time the laws changed.

The coincidence is too close to be accidental. Check out these changes in laws and the stats following the change.

1. The Sexual Revolution in the 1960s and 1970’s

Two things happened to push us into the sexual revolution and destroy the importance of family values. These advancements seemed innocuous then, but they have caused devastating consequences when misused.

  • The birth control pill 

In 1960, the birth control pill came out. While this advancement was a good thing for family planning, it also gave women new freedom to have sex without consequence (or so we thought). This where the importance of family values went out the window!

  •  The legalization of abortion

In 1973, the Supreme Court decision of Roe v. Wade made abortion legal. This allowed a woman to abort a baby before giving birth, devaluing the sanctity of life.

Sadly, most abortions happen because of failed birth control, which leads back to the original issue. There are consequences to sex outside of marriage.

While we have made massive progress in this area by putting the decision back to the states, some states are determined to pass legislation that continues to exterminate the unborn. The importance of family values was shattered with this decision.

RELATED: Want To Know Who Is Really Empowered By Abortion? Sex Traffickers And Abusers

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2. Prayer Removed From Schools in the 1960’s and 1970’s

On June 25, 1962, the US Supreme Court decided in Engel v. Vitale to take prayer out of public schools.

1963, the Court no longer allowed Bible readings before class due to two lawsuits, Murray v. Curlett and Abington School District v. Schempp.

In 1971, a religious test called the Lemon test further separated God from the classroom. It stated three criteria for sponsoring state activities.

The importance of family values in society is challenging when God is removed.

.  Ten Commandments Removed In 1980

In 1980, the Ten Commandments were banned from the classroom with the lawsuit Stone v. Graham. Since then, public schools have become more anti-God instead of neutral.

In 2005, the Ten Commandments were removed from governmental sites, including courthouses, perpetuating the American family’s further moral decline.

4. No-fault Divorce in the Late 1960’s

In 1969, Governor Ronald Reagan signed the first no-fault divorce bill. Later, he admitted it was one of the worst political decisions of his career, as this bill allowed couples to dissolve a marriage for any reason–or no reason at all.

Over the next decade, every state followed suit, making divorce as easy as driving through McDonald’s for a Happy Meal. Sometimes, it’s necessary, but it shouldn’t be easy.

The importance of family values in society is most noticeable when the father is not in the home.

5. Youth Sports On Sunday 

Have you noticed that youth sporting events are now on Sunday? There used to be actual laws that prohibited Sunday sports.

Now we have to make a decision…church or sports? Eventually, it can become an idol when our values change.

Our love for the sport can exceed church, family, and God without us realizing it. One day, we wake up and see our time, energy, and tithe have been hijacked by youth sports.

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The Importance of Family Values In Decline In Society

The importance of family values has declined dramatically in our society. Let’s fast-forward and see what the declining morals of 50 or 60 years ago have produced today.

The statistics are heartbreaking. We are like aimless sheep who have no direction and do not realize we are broken, dirty, and need help.

RELATED: 9 Shocking Reasons Why God Compares Us to Sheep In the Bible

1. Sexual Revolution in America Today

THE LIE:

Birth control gives women freedom over their bodies. Sexual freedom equals power. Sex outside of marriage has no consequences. Teens will use condoms if we educate them to use them.

THE TRUTH:

Here are some shocking statistics on the decline in the importance of family values.

According to the CDC, about 55% of teens are sexually active by the age of 18. Out of the high schoolers surveyed, 27% had had sexual intercourse during the previous three months. Furthermore…

  • 46% did not use a condom the last time they had sex.
  • 12% did not use any method to prevent pregnancy.
  • 21% had drunk alcohol or used drugs before the last sexual intercourse.
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You can see in this graph how trends toward non-marital sex have continually increased since the 70s. Again, this reflects the moral decline in America due to the sexual revolution.

Moral Decline in America

CONSEQUENCES:

  • STDs

Because of the decline in the importance of family values, the trend towards sexual promiscuity, specifically STDs, has increased exponentially. 1 in 4 teens will contract an STD every year.

According to the CDC, 2.4 million cases of gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis combined were recorded in 2018, an all-time high. The importance of family values in 2018 was a significant decline.

25% of all Americans have an incurable STD. 1 out of 5 people have genital herpes (50 million people). Unfortunately, 85% of Americans who have herpes don’t even know it.

You can see how the STD stats started rising in the late 60s. This was the byproduct of “sexual freedom” and a lack of emphasis on the importance of family values.

STDs aren’t the only problem. Unwanted pregnancies are on the rise too.

Moral Decline in America

  • Unwanted pregnancies

According to the CDC, in 1960, only 5 percent of children were born out of wedlock. Since the decline of the importance of family values, in 2018, 1,503,361 live births were to unmarried women.

Sadly, 8 out of 10 teen pregnancies are not planned, and 1 out of 4 girls will be pregnant before the age of 20. According to a Glamour magazine article, 51% of patients had used a contraceptive method the month they got pregnant.

43% of these unplanned pregnancies will end in abortion. The US has the highest teen pregnancy rate and abortions in the world.

Even when a pregnant teen girl decides to choose life, 8 out of 10 teen dads won’t marry the mother. She is forced to parent alone.

The most significant consequence of sex outside of marriage is poverty. 44% of children who live with a single mother grow up in poverty. The median range of income for a single mother is $35,400.

The importance of family values has declined as the statistics have declined.

THE TRUTH:

What is the importance of family values? Sex outside of marriage has physical, mental, and emotional consequences that can leave our kids powerless. In the end, it leads to bondage in multiple ways, especially for women. The “freedom” diatribe is a big fat lie.

2. Abortion in America Today

THE LIE:

There are no consequences for an abortion.

CONSEQUENCES:

Unfortunately, most abortions are used as a method of birth control for “accidents.” Only a small number(1%-3%) are done to save a mother’s life or in the case of rape.

From 1973 until now, there have been an estimated 60 million babies aborted in America. That’s 3,657 abortions daily and 152 an hour.

For a while, abortion was in decline, but now that medicated abortion is available, it is back on the rise.

The truth is that we have aborted about 18% of our American population.

Having an abortion doesn’t come without real physical risks to the mother. Long-term effects include damage and scarring to the uterus and cervix—possible breast cancer, the risk of future full-term pregnancies, heavy bleeding, etc.

There is a range of emotions that happen when a woman terminates a pregnancy, such as debilitating guilt, nightmares, PTSD, uncontrollable crying, depression, suicide, etc.

The importance of family values has been decimated as 60 million children die at the hands of their mothers. We can’t continue to do this and expect God to bless our country.

*June 2022, the Supreme Court ruled that it is a state decision, not a federal issue. Immediately, this triggered bans in many states.

THE TRUTH:

The abortion industry doesn’t care about you; it’s all about money. It’s a billion-dollar industry! There are real consequences physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally for having an abortion.

Most of the consequences fall on the woman. This is not freedom but bondage.

RELATED: 10 Ways The Pro-Abortion Left Proves It Isn’t Pro-Choice Or Pro-Women

3. Fatherless Children in America Today

THE LIE:

Women can do it all. We don’t need men or fathers to help us raise our children.

CONSEQUENCES:

Here are some compelling statistics from the Fatherhood Network:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26)
  • Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail, and four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [U.S. D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

As I said before, many single mothers live around the poverty level. Unfortunately, it is hard to break out of this cycle and improve living standards in the future without help.

Here’s a graph of US school shootings. You can see that the timeline closely follows the legislation, and the decline of the American family accelerated in the 1960’s.

Moral Decline in America

72% of Americans believe a fatherless home is their country’s most significant social and family problem. (Most shooters don’t have a father figure.) This one problem plays a considerable part in ignoring the importance of family values.

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TRUTH:

What is the importance of family values? Women need help raising their kids. They need their men to contribute financially to the family and be emotionally available for the kids. Kids need both a father and a mother, period.

4. Divorce In America Today

THE LIE:

I don’t need to work on my marriage. I can walk away if I’m unhappy. There are no real consequences to the rest of the family if I am not contributing financially, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. It’s all about me.

CONSEQUENCES:

The divorce rate in America as of 2017 is between 40% and 50%. The statistics are hard to measure because fewer people are getting married, so fewer divorces exist. Most people live together—until they don’t.

Once again, women (and children) suffer the most when parents divorce. Many times, a mother is caught between living with an abusive partner or losing the income and help of the father.

It’s a terrible choice women are having to make to survive.

Either way, women and children lose. The absence of a good male role model in the home contributes to the lack of the importance of family values in the house.

Most of the time, the father usually only sees the kids on the weekends and holidays. The parents are no longer working together to raise the child unitedly.

It’s a difficult situation that is not quickly resolved without prayer, counseling, and healthy boundaries.

THE TRUTH:

Pray! Ask God to intervene and give you wisdom on what to do. We are all sinful and need to work on ourselves and our marriage. Get help if there is abuse. Prayerfully consider moving you and your kids to a safe place until things improve.

RELATED: How to Change Your Husband Without Saying a Word

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5. Prayer, Bible Reading, and the Ten Commandments Today

LIE:

We don’t need God in our schools or government. We can do it without Him. We are our moral compass. Whatever feels right, do it.

CONSEQUENCES:

The importance of family values has declined dramatically in our society. God is mostly absent from our schools and government.

We have lost touch with how to pray, who to pray to, and how to act as good citizens of the United States.

Just turn on the television and watch the nightly news, and you will get a good picture of who we have become as a nation without prayer, God’s word spoken, and a reminder of His laws displayed on the walls of our government buildings and schools.

TRUTH:

We must return to the importance of family values to see our families turn around.

RELATED: 25 Different Methods of Prayer That Are Powerful

6. Kid’s Sports and other excuses for church attendance

LIE:

Our child is talented and needs to do this for a scholarship. It’s just a few Sundays here and there. We can get back into a church when things slow down. Or Covid could get us…

CONSEQUENCES:

It may seem innocuous, but I have seen firsthand what it has done to strong Christian families as they slowly drop out of the church for one reason or another. In many cases, it’s directly related to sports.

Recently, Covid-19 took a big bite out of church attendance too. People got out of the habit and never came back.

It all seems so innocent at the time, yet these small choices add up to a significant moral deficit in our families.

Sadly, the kids pay the biggest price. Most people say they accepted Christ as a child. If faith is not passed down early, it has less chance of taking root later in life.

This graph shows the decline in church attendance over the last twenty years.

According to this Gallup poll, respondents didn’t have a preference; it just wasn’t important to them.

Moral Decline in America

Kids (and parents) need other Christians to help them stand firm in their faith. If we do not attend church regularly, that reinforcement slowly fades away, as does the the importance of family values.

THE TRUTH:

What is the importance of family values? Families need to be consistently in church. You don’t need to be legalistic, but be strategic about how much your family misses. Consider what is essential in the long term for you and your kids.

The Importance of Family Values: 7 Most Important Things to Do in Your Family

Check out these seven things you can do to refocus the importance of family values. If Satan had strategically removed these things from our schools and government, you know exactly what you need to do—add them back!

Here is a list of morals and values to implement in your family:

1. Read the Bible

Not only do you need to read the Bible, but you also need to follow it. Also, read it to your kids regularly. Pass your faith on to the next generation. Live according to its precepts with a balance of truth and grace.

Admit when you are wrong, and forgive quickly. Love your kids unconditionally. This is how to refocus on the importance of family values.

RELATEDLose Faith in God? 7 Reasons to Trust Him in Your Hot Mess

2. Pray

You need a strong prayer life to raise kids these days. Pray with your kids and spend time praying alone.

See also  The Ultimate Guide to Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

If Satan removed it from our schools, you know it is essential. Prayer has the power to change things that seem impossible. This is how to refocus on the importance of family values.

RELATEDHow to Pray for Your Child: 6 Tips to Pray In Your War Room (really pray)

3. Follow God’s Commands

The Ten Commandments are critical to daily living. It’s an excellent summation of God’s laws. Furthermore, you don’t have to stop there. The Bible is full of great wisdom on how to live daily according to God’s will.

Routinely reinforce that God’s laws offer freedom whereas the world’s laws look fun for a time, but eventually, you end up in bondage. This is how to refocus on the importance of family values.

RELATED: Teaching Character Traits: 9 Positive Traits That Are Godly

4. Stay Married, if possible

Marriage is sacred. Treat it as such. Work through your difficulties or seek help if you are stuck. Fight for your marriage, as this is Satan’s number one way to divide and conquer your family.

A strong family will help you raise strong children. Don’t be afraid to call out abuse and take steps to protect yourself and your kids, if necessary. Find a male role model for your kids if their father isn’t going to be there.

This is how to refocus on the importance of family values.

RELATED15 Proven Signs of a Healthy Marriage That Lasts

5. Teach Abstinence

Teach your kids to wait. Start early and reinforce it in every way you can. Talk about the blessings of freedom for those who wait. Teach delayed gratification and that sin has significant consequences.

This is how to refocus on the importance of family values.

RELATED: 15 Pro Tips for Raising a Teenage Son In Today’s World

6. Join a Church

Your family needs community. We were never meant to be isolated.  Find a church that reinforces biblical values and also embraces relationships with other like-minded families.

Doing life together with others will give you an automatic support system, especially if your family is not available.

Be wise about sports competitions held on Sunday mornings. Missing church regularly will slowly erode your family’s moral constitution. This is how to refocus on the importance of family values.

7. Have Family Time

Spend time together as a family and develop a strong relationship with each child. Eat together, volunteer, worship and pray together, go on vacations, play, create fun family memories, read books aloud, talk about current events, and most of all, listen.

Ask questions and value what your kids say. You will need this bond to parent in the teen years and refocus on the importance of family values.

RELATEDThe #1 Best Gratitude Activity to Do with Your Teenager

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The Decline of the American Family

While these suggestions are good, they are not foolproof. Kids are kids, and they will try things. The best advice I can give any parent is to be there for them and love them through difficult times.

We all need unconditional love.

I’ll leave you with one more fact: Getting an education, a job, and waiting to have sex until marriage will statistically put you at low risk for divorce and keep you out of poverty.

Ain’t that something? God’s ways work.

The importance of family values cannot be overstated. Share your family values. Comment below. 

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Are you struggling with family issues that have resulted in a family rift or a family estrangement? Are you feeling a sense of shame, anger, or rejection?  Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.

In it, I share my own experience of a seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and how we eventually reconciled. Furthermore, I provide practical advice to help you navigate your family issues.

Don’t let the pain of estrangement hold you back. Allow God to assist you in healing, no matter what has happened within your family. Remember, there is always hope to be found, even when things seem to be falling apart.

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Julie is a wife, mom, teacher, author, and blogger. She writes about Christian family living, marriage, parenting with a touch of humor.

110 Comments

  1. I have noticed a moral decline in our nation, too, especially during the past few years that homosexual marriage was legalized and other grievous things…

  2. The womb being the most dangerous place for a baby to be is SO sad! Our world has gotten out of hand. I cry out for Jesus to ‘please return now!!!’ quite often anymore.

    • I know, right? Who would have thought that mothers are the most dangerous people to children. I pray God will forgive us and restore us to a nation that values life. Revival is the only thing that is going to reverse the moral decline in America.

  3. I like articles that match in your knowledge gaps.
    This is of that kind. I also enjoy how the writer organized his ideas as well as
    the visual part.

    • Chanell, thank you for your comment. I definitely did a lot of research. You can’t deny that kids need a father and a mother. Both roles are important. School shooters especially seem to be lacking a father or male role model. I hope others will see how important it is to take parenting seriously.

  4. I found something like a couple of weeks before, but
    you did in-depth research, along with your post seems to be much more compelling than the others.
    I’m astounded with the arguments you provided in addition to the type of your post.
    I enjoy when posts are both informative and interesting, when even boring facts are presented
    in an interactive manner. Well, it’s surely on your article.

    • Yes, I have been working on this post for a long time. A lot of reading and research went into this. So sad to see boys who do not have a strong male influence in their lives.

  5. Thanks for being brave enough to write about this. It was really interesting to read, and while I don’t necessarily agree with every point, I do think family is extremely important and that better gun laws aren’t the magic answer here.

    • I totally respect your opinion. I appreciate your comment and glad we can agree on a strong family as a good foundation for our kids.

  6. Yes! I totally agree with everything you said and I’m so glad to finally see someone pointing to these issues! <3 Gun control isn't the only argument to be made and thank you for having the courage to speak to problems that aren't being talked about!

    • Thank you so much for your encouragement . I am actually shocked at the amount of positive feedback. It’s been a huge confirmation that someone needs to speak out.

  7. It is refreshing to hear someone say that yes, we need gun control and yes, we need to make mental health care more affordable/available, but no neither of these will put a stop to ALL gun violence. I agree that as parents we have a responsibility to teach our children morals and values – we need to be involved in our kids lives and not hand them over to social media. Thank you for your willingness to speak on such a controversial topic.

    • Thank you so much for your comments. I am so thrilled to have people agree with my points. Many blessings to you!

      • Unconvinced Reply

        There are very serious flaws with these unsubstantiated claims. This doesn’t happen in countries that are far less religious and right wing than the US. This doesn’t happen in other countries with high rates of divorce and no prayer in schools for even longer than the US. Sorry, non of this makes sense.

        • Most other countries put a high value on respect, honor, and loyalty to family and those in authority. Our society has devalued life, authority, and respect. You can’t deny that the one thing that connects all these kids is the father relationship. Do some reading. This is not a right-wing issue. This is a moral issue. It’s a God issue. We have traded truth for “freedom.” Freedom to do as we please. And there is a price to pay for no boundaries. It’s like driving on the highway with no speed limit. Cars are gonna crash.

  8. First let me say you are very brave to even approach this topic. This topic is a hot button and people have very strong feelings about it so kudos to you for putting your opinions into writing. I agree with many of the points that you made and having a strong family value is so important.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words. It is controversial, but I think the fact so many people have been positive says something. I know not everyone agrees, but the stats are pretty shocking.

  9. There are some points I don’t agree with but I do agree with the importance of family on this issue.

  10. Its interesting to read and informative. You’re right women has a responsibility in the society for developing the youth and even if a child has to be raise without a father, that child can still be good person as how her mother or family raise him.

    • Absolutely! Lots of great people have been raised by a single mom. I’ve never met a single mom who didn’t wish for some help though. It’s a rough job going at it alone. Kudos to single moms for being there always.

  11. very interesting perspective. I don’t necessarily agree with every point but I think encouraging family and communication overall is key!

  12. Those statistic are down right staggering. While I do not have children, I can completely relate to all of your points via family members, friends and neighbors. The core family value are complete skewed these days and are a huge contributing factor to these violent acts with our youth. I also think America should really focus on metal health and providing screens in schools for kids that may not be diagnosed anywhere else.

    • Oh! I agree totally. We need better screening. The counselors at our school mostly did schedules and college counseling. No mental health help that I knew about.

  13. This is such a powerful post! We have so much that we can do to help and deter this school shootings from happening. It is becoming way too much of a norm that is frightening.

  14. I do understand where you are coming from. The coarsening of our culture has made people’s view of life change. This in turn has lead to people not caring as much when they commit these horrific acts unfortunately.

  15. Not sure I agree with you. Yes a lot needs to be done so we do not have to endure anymore of these tragedies but I do not think blaming women is the key. I also do not think that divorce causes a child to be “fatherless”. I feel like there is a lot of misinformation here but I also say “whatever helps!”

    • I respect your opinion. If you go back and read my blog you’ll see I never blame women. I say that women can help by doing certain things. Our behaviour can help or further aggravate the situation. I believe in women being empowered. Nothing leaves a women more powerless than to be pregnant and no one to be there to help financially and physically to raise the child.
      In the long run, biblical principals work best. Just by waiting to have sex until marriage it cuts out abortion, STD’s and single parenting.

    • Unconvinced Reply

      Incorrect. Many married women get abortions. Many married women are cheated on and get STIs. Even religious ones.

      And divorce helps free women from abuse and mistreatment. It doesn’t make a child fatherless. The father not being involved makes the child fatherless. It has nothing to do with the woman.

  16. Nicole Caudle Reply

    This is a very interesting viewpoint. I’m not sure that I am in 100% agreement with everything you say, but you have presented the information in a good way.

    • Thanks for finding something nice to say despite your disagreement. I respect your feelings and know not everyone is going to agree.

  17. It’s sad to wake up almost every day hearing about another school shooting. It saddens me that it keeps happening across the nation. These are all meaningful tips that can help.

  18. I think need improvement in this US open culture some points are as under
    Banned gun culture & improve security
    Teach every child moral values with love & kindness
    Have to be family every parents & live together as a joint till death & develop family culture & support each other in any problem even if in neighborhood also
    Every parents have to live long as a companions & get compromise by forgetting ego in life
    To be develop culture of help & device was as well as security
    Society have to decrease ratio of divorce by understanding couples & help children’s life improvement & good developing
    Faith in god & spiritual values
    Respect parents & family avoid hating
    May be develop a good society.

      • Yaa Attobrah Reply

        Thank you for having the courage to write about this issue. We live in a time now where moral values seem to have gone the way of the dodo bird. We need to sit up and make some changes before society sinks into further decline – lots of freedoms but no responsibilities to go with it. Bless you.

        • Yaa, thank you for your comment. I hate that we are dealing with school violence. I do fear it is not going away anytime in the near future unless we turn to God.

  19. I totally agree with your viewpoint and so comforted by the fact that someone openly acknowledges all this. I think it is rather unfortunate that religion, the institution of marriage and saying no to sex before marriage have become taboo topics. People actually look down on anyone who brings religion or anything sacred to the discussion room. I believe Gad created these rules for our benefit and when we stray from the right path , we end up with anxieties both emotional and physical. Schools and governments need to work together to get religion and a strong value system back in the forefront to ensure that our future generations have more stable support and upbringing. Thank you so much for posting this.

  20. Woah. so much misinformation and so much blame on women! It is not the mom’s fault if the father chooses not to present! Why aren’t you blaming dads for not staying in their child’s life?

    Also, just because you get divorced doesn’t mean your child is suddenly fatherless, many parents co-parent just fine. No one should stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. Children with unhappy parents have unhappy childhoods, I for one wished my parents would divorce, to this day they are still together and I am in therapy trying to get over my anxiety of not turning into my mother.

    Gun control is not just an American problem. You don’t see other countries like the UK, Australia, Canada having gun issues. They have just as many divorces and abortions as we do. The key is GUN CONTROL! The USA is severely lacking in it. It is easier to get a Gun in our country than it is to vote!

    • I hear your point of view. I clearly state we need to address guns and mental health, but the stats show children who are fatherless are at a much higher risk for mental health issues, violence, drugs, etc.Many issues in society are because of the breakdown of the family. My title is how women can help. Not how women can be blamed.
      We bear the responsibility of who we choose in the first place to sleep with. Waiting until marriage to have sex would practically eliminate abortion, STDs, and birth out of wedlock. Kids weren’t shooting up schools 30 years ago. They haven’t all the sudden gone crazy. It’s the father is not there anymore to mentor the son.

  21. blair villanueva Reply

    I felt sad and worried about the increasing school shooting in US. School should be the safest place for all of us, and now it is gone. My friends are now thinking of moving their kids out of US and transferring back to Asia for safety reason.

    If this doesn’t solve, it will be a domino effect.

  22. I believe that we can make a change. I agree, teach the children moral values and be present in their lives is a starting point but there is so much more we can do other than that.

    • Absolutely, but the family has got to be strong to help with the rest of the measures. Thanks for your comment.

  23. We don’t have a right to bear arms over here in the UK – and I’m so glad that we don’t. I can’t imagine the pain or the loss felt in the USA and the fear parents must experience in sending their children to school.

  24. Its painful to see where we’ve come as a society. My mom is a retired school teacher, and I think she’d agree to most of what you’re saying.

  25. As the years pass we keep letting go of the values that used to matter to us. The school shootings won’t end with gun laws and all that. We have to do something about it ourselves. There is so much that women can do about this and I love all your suggestions.

  26. you really touched a very sensitive subject not many seem to understand or want to talk/hear about. Congratulations on your article and the way you exposed the problem.

  27. Very insightful article right here and I love the take you have in terms of this gun issue we have. Thanks for sharing and I will definitely consider your recommendations

  28. Agentszerozerosetter Reply

    I think all can do the difference to fight against this. Sure education and family have an important role, laws (no arms for everyone)… More control on teenagers, it’s so sad when similar events happens, so many lives ruined, why?!:(

  29. I hope we can all work together to fight for whats right. A group is better than being solo, when trying to make change. Thanks for sharing such an important post.

  30. I can understand the information that you’re presenting. I do think that parents have an incredible responsibility for raising great children but the child themselves are also responsible

  31. Agnes Vazhure Reply

    This is such a great post. There are some things that we can do to end the school shootings. and we need to work on it.

  32. I was a single parent to my 2 older kids before I met my husband. Although they grew up without a father they had father figures in their lives in the form of my dad and brother. And I’m so thankful that they filled up the missing pieces in the puzzle. And I thin that’s very important. I had so many regrets in my life, if only I waited and if only I listened to my parents I wouldn’t be in that situation. Like you, I believe that the foundation of morals and values start at home. But in my case, with all honesty I can say that my parents did everything to raise me right. The problem was within me. That only proves that as parents, we can only do much. But that doesn’t mean, we don’t try hard enough.

    • Thank you for such an honest reply. The thing about your situation is you made a full circle. Your parents did do a good job. You may have strayed a while but because your family stayed in there, you came back. I wish you many wonderful years together.

  33. The stats are heavy in this area. I am in complete agreement that this is not just a ‘man” issue. We are designed by God to live in families and to build communities. I think one of the things the birth control pill, abortion and easily dissolvable marriages provided was an individualism that is not sustainable.

    Single parents without extended family are faced with some tough decisions for everyday survival.
    I whole heartedly agree with your suggestion for single mothers and single fathers to find strong value based christian community to help with the raising of cildren.

    • Thank you for your comments. Yes, we were designed to live together with a mother and father. I know that’s not possible for some, but making good choices in the beginning ensures a much better chance for future children to succeed.

  34. Cornelius Longbottom Reply

    I don’t think any of the reasons you cited have any relationship to mass shootings. Divorce rates have risen across the world and we don’t see anything on the same level as in the US. It is far better for a woman and her kids to leave a terrible relationship than to stay in it. There is no stabilizing effect in just having a man around.

    What we do have a problem with is the toxic way that men see themselves in the US that is not seen anywhere else in the world. Just listen or read what mass shooters if they left anything behind and you will see that they were all entitled and felt that the world owed them something. It’s not an issue with religion or morality as many of them were devout Christians or their families said they all were. It’s all them and their view on the world. Couple that with access to guns and the inevitable will happen.

    • I hear you. There are a lot of factors that go into this. I added an info graphic that gives 10 more statistics about the connection to crime, mental illness, drugs, and high school dropout rates with those who are fatherless children. The numbers are staggering.
      You’re right. These boys are angry, entitled, and revengeful. My theory is a lot of that rage is because of what has happened at home first and then the rejection at school.
      Thanks for commenting. I know my thoughts are controversial, and not everyone will agree with me.

  35. I can def see where you are coming from but I dont think those are the reasons for school shootings. I am from a split home and me and my siblings do not have the desire to shoot anyone. We had some church in our life but very very little. I personally believe a lot of it has to do with mental illness but that is just me. I did not come here to argue with anyone on the fact I just think it was a weird excuse that you chose to talk about.

    • I appreciate your comments. I know this is really controversial and not everyone will agree. I added an info graphic that gives 10 more statistics which includes the percentage of children who are fatherless and have mental illness, commit crimes, get into drugs, and drop out of school. The numbers are staggering. Most of the numbers are over 70%.
      Of course, not everyone is going to do these things if they are fatherless. But the ones who do, most have this in common.
      I’m glad you do not suffer with any of this in your family. You are blessed.

  36. You bring up some really valid points Julie. When the family system breaks down, the children are the ones that struggle the most. This is a complex topic as you described. An area that I would add on to would the be devaluing of life in multiple ways. You described abortion which I completely agree altered people’s view of life. In addition, our children are being bombarded with more and more violence in media – tv shows, movies, and video games. The addition of virtual reality gaming makes this all the more dangerous. When we add the desensitization of violence to boys without father figures and/or a life of neglect and abuse, the results are incredibly high for mental health issues. There also needs to be greater education in the foster care system.

    • You are so right. I didn’t even go into media. This is another huge component. Yes, the mental health issues are caused by what are children are being exposed to. Kids who are left to themselves and are not monitored on their phone, social accounts and what they play on videos are much more likely to commit violent acts.

  37. Stacy Sitarski Reply

    Love this! Seldom do you see any solutions that actually get to the core of the problem. Thank you for this. Oh, and I remember a conversation I had with my grandma one time. She was saying many of the same things as you did on how and why our world was changing…not for the good. That always stuck with me and changed my view on life and what my priorities should be. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for acknowledging this. I feel like there is such a disconnect with women. They can’t see that their choices make a difference for good or bad. When we take the time to choose our men wisely the outcome is so much better. If a man can’t wait, then his intentions are to use you more than love you. That’s not the best way to start a relationship-with a selfish man.

  38. Number #2 is important to me! I am single and I am purposely not having kids until I am married and I want a strong family. I didnt realize the statistic for these school shootings are angry little boys without fathers, boys need there fathers and they are definitely lashing out without that male influence to balance them out.

    • I’m so glad you are able to see the connection. It is so important to wait, think, and choose wisely. Picking a husband and father is one of the biggest decisions in a woman’s life yet we do it sometimes on a one night stand. How have women come so far yet been blinded so easily??

  39. Why blame this on the women though. It is a society with shifting values that contributes to this situation

    • If you look at my title, it says, “5 ways women can help.” I’m not blaming women. I am saying we can make healthier choices for ourselves and our future children. When you become connected with a man sexually, you have to consider if he would be a good husband and role model for future children. There is always a chance of pregnancy. There are 60 million other women who didn’t think they would get pregnant and they did only to choose abortion as a way out. Or there are the other 30%-50% who chose to have their baby alone. A child needs a father just as much as a mother. Women have gotten the idea they don’t need a man to raise children. It’s just wrong.
      These concepts have been pulled out of school for so long that we have one to two generations who are disconnected with cause and effect. I’m trying to tell women they can do better than they are doing when picking a man. I’m going to the root of one of the issues.
      And you’re right. Society has changed its values. WE are society.

  40. There are so many things that we can do to end the school shootings. It’s good to look back on our values and stick to them as much as we could. It’s really important that the kids grow in a nurturing and loving home with both the parents. Only if it’s possible, because there are unavoidable situations wherein separation is healthier.

  41. I love this. What a wonderful story of love. I realize mistakes will be made. You acknowledged it and moved to better choices. So glad you have a great marriage, and your son has a fabulous role model. Thanks for your comment.

  42. Love this! I do think that more folks need to wait for sex till they find the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I didn’t, I wish I had but my folks were divorced and my father was not as active as he should have been in my life so I was always looking for the male attention I wasn’t getting and needed. My husband has only ever been with me and doesn’t seem to regret it at all and we have been together 17 years. I pray daily that our son will follow in his footsteps in that aspect. Change starts at home and if you don’t have a stable home you can’t expect to have stable teens and adults.

    • What a sweet response. You have turned your life in a positive direction. I’m sure your son will be a wonderful young mom with two wonderful parents. Thanks for reading.

  43. Who knew that posts like this would not only be relevant, but also needed?!!! Sad times we live in. I agree with many of the reasons behind the uptick in school shootings, as well as what women can do to help stem the tide. I’m not an abstinence only person, because I think its unrealistic in many aspects, but I do agree that women have to make better choices with regard to who they procreate with, and that father’s have got to step up to the plate and be present, and a moral compass to guide the family.

    • Thank you so much for the validation. I knew the abstinence part would be quite unpopular. Most people think it’s ok to experiment. It kinda reminds me of the pot issue. Just as pot is the gateway to drugs, premarital sex is the gateway to sexual diseases, emotional trauma, and abortion.
      I heard there was another shooting today. I wonder if it is a fatherless boy?

  44. Love is all these kids need!! To just know they are loved unconditionally!! A kind word can go a long way. Great post!

    • Yes, these kids are angry because they don’t feel loved. They haven’t gotten the attention at home they need, so they are going to get someone’s attention one way or another. Thanks for your comment.

  45. I am not religious at all, but I think I did choose a good man for a husband! I don’t agree with staying married if it’s not working though. Kids would prefer to have happy separate parents than ones who fight all the time.

    • I totally get that. I was just recommending the parents try counseling before they give up. I think a lot more marriages could be saved if divorce weren’t so easy to get. There are times when it’s so toxic that divorce is necessary.

  46. The increase in school shootings is really heartbreaking. I think it’s important to create positivity and love to our children (boys and girls).
    xoxo
    Annie

  47. The shootings are so terrible and heartbreaking. I feel like it really is a deep rooted issue and there is a lot that needs to happen to effect change.

  48. I don’t believe that there is a stereotype of the “school shooters”. I think they are just mental unstable, and that has nothing to do with women having sex before marriage or staying married! Staying married when the relationship doesn’t work anymore can create more stress on the child than getting a divorce because of all the fighting! As an example, there has been a school shooting in the UK in ’96. That’s when all the guns have been banned. There hasn’t been a shooting ever since!

    • My issue is the fact we have so many fatherless children who are shooters. This is a pattern . The stats back my claim. If you work backwards, you can trace the poor decisions made long before the child becomes a teen.
      It starts many years earlier when kids are born out of wedlock (no father), absent fathers due to divorce, or fathers who just randomly walk away because they are tired of being a dad.

      To further my point…as a teacher, I can say 90% of the time, when I contact a parent because of discipline problems in the classroom, there is not a father in the home. It is a single mom trying to do her best to raise her kids.
      I hope you will reconsider your position because you could be one of the stats I listed. One day you wake up, and you realize you are the one in the mess. Not someone else.

  49. Emma Steve Reply

    This post is very relevant and meaningful and this is a social concern. Let’s all work together.

    • Thanks for your comment. We have a choice every day to do the right thing and influence others to do the same. Thanks for reading.

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