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Moral Decline in America

Reversing the Moral Decline In America: 7 Biblical Ways to Raise Strong Kids

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If you are a parent, you understand that the moral decline in America is frighteningly real.

We see it every day we try to make contact with aliens in our home, formerly known as our children, that are now teenagers. Who are these people anyway?

The once sweet snuggly kids with sticky kisses are now regularly spewing words from the same lips telling us that we don’t know, well, anything.

Sound familiar?

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Moral Decline in America

Perhaps we don’t know everything…

Let’s face it, our world has changed. What our kids encounter on a daily basis is not to be compared with what we faced years ago. The morals today vs. the past are different.

What we winked at years ago is fully celebrated now. Good is evil, evil is good.

As parents, how do we start breaking down the lies of the world and impart truth in a meaningful way without coming across as out of touch or an old fuddy-duddy?

Before I answer these questions, let’s take a walk down memory lane.  Understanding the history of moral decay in our country may help you better strategize on how to combat this difficult parenting problem in the future.

What Is Causing Moral Decline in America?

When did we start seeing the moral decline in America take place and what caused it? In my opinion, the decline of morality in our society started years ago with anti-family and anti-God legislation.

And while we have made some great advances in our society, there are other areas we have lost ground. Confused? Check out these blatant moral indicators of decay in our society.

  • The Sexual Revolution

Two things happened to push us into the sexual revolution and create a moral decline in America:      

                  1. The birth control pill 

In 1960, the birth control pill came out. While this advancement was a good thing for family planning, it also gave women new freedom to have sex without consequence (or so we thought).

We no longer had to be married to enjoy the “forbidden fruit.” Suddenly, women were free to experiment and have control over their reproductive life.

Sex became more of a recreation than a commitment. Sounds liberating on the surface, right?  

Perhaps most women didn’t know there would be a high cost for that freedom. One that would eventually trap them into bondage in the long run instead of giving them empowerment.

                  2. The legalization of abortion. 

In 1973, the Supreme Court decision of Roe v. Wade made abortion legal. This allowed a woman to abort a baby before giving birth, devaluing the sanctity of life.

Unfortunately, most states allow abortion up until about 24 weeks or viability, although the laws are changing. As of 2019, New York laws allow an abortion all the way to full-term.  To add insult to injury, they also made it legal for a nurse or PA to perform an abortion.

This is especially convenient for women in New York where one out of three pregnancies are terminated.

Sadly, the most dangerous place for a child to be these days is in a mother’s womb. There is more chance of a child dying there than anywhere else.

RELATED: 15 Life-Altering Reasons For Kids to Wait Until Marriage

Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart book.

Purchase your ebook or paperback on Amazon or at your favorite digital store. 

  • Prayer Removed From Schools

On June 25, 1962, the US Supreme Court decided in Engel v. Vitale to take prayer out of the public schools.

In 1963, the Court no longer allowed Bible readings before class due to two lawsuits, Murray v. Curlett and Abington School District v. Schempp.

In 1971, there was a religious test called the Lemon test (named after the case Lemon v. Kurtzman) which further separated God from the classroom. It stated three criteria for sponsoring state activities.

This closed even more loopholes in the system making it difficult to be a Christian practicing anything religious such as prayer or Bible reading on a school campus. This was a big contribution to the moral decline in America.

  • 10 Commandments Removed 

In 1980, the Ten Commandments were banned from the classroom with the lawsuit Stone v. Graham. Since then, public schools have become more anti-God instead of neutral.

In 2005, the Ten Commandments were removed from governmental sites including courthouses, and perpetuated the further moral decline in America.

It is pretty clear that God has been eliminated from our schools and government. He is no longer welcome. And since God does not push Himself on us, He left the building.

  • No-Fault Divorce

In 1969, Governor Ronald Reagan signed the first no-fault divorce bill. Later, he admitted it was one of the worst political decisions of his career as this bill allowed couples to dissolve a marriage for any reason–or no reason at all.

Over the next decade, every state followed suit making divorce as easy as driving through McDonald’s for a Happy Meal.

While divorce is sometimes a necessary evil, it should be considered a last resort for couples who have legitimately tried all other avenues.

Divorce has further perpetuated the moral decline in America, leaving families broken and unstable.

  • Kid’s Sports On Sunday

Have you noticed that kid’s sporting events are now on Sunday? There used to be actual laws in place that prohibited Sunday sports.

Now we have to make a decision…church or sports?

While the occasional Sunday competition is not a big deal, the perpetual week after week of games on Sunday morning has pushed families out of consistent communion with God and fellowship with other believers.

This is another sneaky way that we have seen the moral decline in America. We have traded the promise of sports scholarships for our spiritual growth.

Are Moral Values Decreasing In the Youth of Today?

Let’s fast forward to today. What has happened to the next generation (our youth) since these laws have played out the last fifty to sixty years? Perhaps you will be shocked to see the slow breakdown of morals in our country.

Kinda like the frog in the pot scenario…

Removing biblical morals and values from our society in the name of “freedom” has produced bondage in ways we never imagined.

  • Sexual Revolution in America Today

THE LIE: Birth control gives women freedom over their bodies. In fact, sexual freedom equals power. Sex outside of marriage has no consequences.

Today, about 55% of teens are sexually active by the age of 18.

According to the CDC, 27% [ of high school students] had had sexual intercourse during the previous 3 months, and, of these:

  • 46% did not use a condom the last time they had sex.
  • 12% did not use any method to prevent pregnancy.
  • 21% had drunk alcohol or used drugs before last sexual intercourse.

You can see in this graph how trends toward non-marital sex have continually increased since the 70s. Again this reflects the moral decline in America due to the sexual revolution.

Moral Decline in America

CONSEQUENCES: Because of the trend towards sexual promiscuity, STDs have increased exponentially. In fact, 1 in 4 teens will contract an STD every year.

According to the CDC, 2.4 million cases of gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis combined were recorded in 2018, an all-time high. In fact, 25% of all Americans have an incurable STD. 1 out of 5 people have genital herpes (50 million people). Unfortunately, 85% of Americans who have herpes don’t even know it.

You can see how the STD stats started rising in the late 60s. This was the byproduct of “sexual freedom.”

Moral Decline in America

STDs aren’t the only problem. Unwanted pregnancies are on the rise too.

According to the CDC, in 1960, only 5 percent of children were born out of wedlock. As of 2018, there were 1,503,361 live births to unmarried women.

Sadly, 8 out of 10 teen pregnancies are not planned, and 1 out of 4 girls will be pregnant before the age of 20. According to a Glamour magazine article, 51% of patients had used a contraceptive method the month they got pregnant.

43% of these unplanned pregnancies will end in abortion. The US has the highest teen pregnancy rate and abortions in the world.

Your safe sex talk ain’t working, parents! Kids don’t use birth control properly or at all.

Even when a pregnant teen girl decides to choose life, 8 out of 10 teen dads won’t marry the mother. She is forced to parent alone.

The biggest consequence of sex outside of marriage is poverty. 44% of children who live with a single mother grows up in poverty as the median range of income for a single mother is $35,400.

Even if a woman does not get pregnant, there are still psychological consequences for premarital sex. Web MD says up 62%  of women felt negative effects from their sexual encounters. In fact, many felt used when their partner left.

THE TRUTH: Sex outside of marriage has physical, mental, and emotional consequences that can leave our kids powerless. In the end, it leads to bondage in multiple ways, especially for women. The “freedom” diatribe is a big fat lie. 

  • Abortion in America Today

THE LIE: There are no consequences for an abortion. One and done; it won’t hurt anyone. 

CONSEQUENCES: Unfortunately, most abortions are used as a method of birth control for “accidents.” Only a small number(1%-3%) are actually done to save a mother’s life or in the case of rape.

From 1973 until now, there have been an estimated 60 million babies aborted in America. That’s 3,657 abortions daily and 152 an hour.

The truth is that we have aborted about 18% of our American population.

Having an abortion doesn’t come without real physical risks to the mother. Long-term effects include damage and scarring to the uterus and cervix. possible breast cancer, the risk to future full-term pregnancies, heavy bleeding, etc.

Sadly, the media does not talk about the emotional trauma which now has a formal name–Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS).

There is a range of emotions that happen when a woman terminates a pregnancy such as debilitating guilt, nightmares, PTSD, uncontrollable crying, depression, suicide, etc.

The moral decline in America is clearly connected to 60 million children dying at the hands of their mother. We can’t continue to do this and expect God to bless our nation.

RELATED: How to End a Toxic Relationship For Good: 3 Ways to Get Out

THE TRUTH: The abortion industry doesn’t care about you; it’s all about money. It’s a billion-dollar industry! There are real consequences physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally for having an abortion. Yet again, almost all of the consequences fall on women who are shocked when they realize what they have done.  

  • Fatherless Children in America Today

THE LIE: Women can do it all. We don’t need men or fathers to help us raise our children. 

CONSEQUENCES: Children who grow up without a father in the home are 279% more likely to be violent, use drugs, not finish school, and live in poverty.

In fact, 71% of dropouts are fatherless, as well as  70% of fatherless kids are in juvenile detention centers. and 63% of kids who commit suicide have no father in the home.

As I said before, the median income for a single mother is $35,400 which is poverty level. Unfortunately, it is hard to break out of this cycle and improve living standards in the future.

Another interesting fact: The one thing almost all school shooters have in common is that they are all angry boys who lack a relationship with their father. In fact, most of the fathers are completely absent.

Here’s a graph of US school shootings. You can clearly see that the timeline closely follows the legislation and decline in American values.

Moral Decline in America

72% of Americans believe that a fatherless home is the most significant social problem and family problem that is facing their country. (National Center for Fathering) This one problem is playing a huge part in the moral decline in America.

TRUTH: Woman need help to raise their kids. They need their men to contribute financially to the family and be emotionally available for the kids. Kids need both a father and a mother period. 

  • Divorce In America Today

THE LIE: I don’t need to work on my marriage. I can walk away if I’m unhappy. There are no real consequences to the rest of the family if I am not contributing financially, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. It’s all about me. 

CONSEQUENCES: The divorce rate in America as of 2017 is between 40%-50%. The statistics are hard to measure because there are fewer people getting married, so there are fewer divorces. Most people just live together…until they don’t.

Once again, women (and children) suffer the most when things go awry.

Many times, a mother is caught between living with an abusive partner or losing the income and help of the father.

It’s a terrible choice women are having to make just to survive. Divorce or separation eventually happens if there is abuse.

The result is our families are now fractured. When there is no male role model in the home, it contributes to the moral decline in America.

Most of the time the father only sees the kids on the weekends and holidays, if that. And the parents are no longer working together to raise the child on a united front.

It’s a difficult situation not easily resolved without prayer, counseling, and healthy boundaries put in place.

THE TRUTH:  Pray! Ask God to intervene and give you wisdom on what to do. We are all sinful and need to work on ourselves and our marriage. Get help if there is abuse. Prayerfully consider moving you and your kids to a safe place until things improve.  

RELATED: How to End a Toxic Relationship For Good: 3 Ways to Get Out

  • Prayer, Bible Reading, and the Ten Commandments Today

LIE: We don’t need God in our schools or government. We can do it without Him. In fact, we are our own moral compass. Whatever feels right, do it. 

CONSEQUENCES: God is mostly non-existent in our schools and in our government. We have lost touch with how to pray, who to pray to, and how to act as good citizens of the United States.

Just turn on the television and watch the nightly news and you will get a good picture of who we have become as a nation without prayer, God’s word spoken, and a reminder of His laws displayed on the walls of our government buildings and schools.

TRUTH: We need revival in this land. We need to return to God and do what is right, honest, just, and moral. 

  • Kid’s Sports in America Today

LIE: Our child is really talented and needs to do this for a scholarship. It’s just a few Sundays here and there. We can get back into a church when things slow down. 

CONSEQUENCES: It may seem innocuous, but I have seen first hand what it has done to strong Christian families as they slowly drop out of the church because of one reason or another. In many cases, it’s directly related to sports.

It all seems so innocent at the time to drop out of the church, yet these small choices add up to a big deficit morally in our families.

Sadly, the kids pay the biggest price. Most people say they accepted Christ as a child. If faith is not passed down early, there is less of a chance for it to take root later in life.

This graph shows the decline in church attendance over the last twenty years.

According to this Gallup poll, those interviewed said they didn’t have a preference. It just wasn’t important to them.

Moral Decline in America

If you look closely, you can see the percentage of U.S. adults who are members of churches fell from 70% in 1999 to 50% in 2018. This is a big drop in a short amount of time.

Kids (and parents) need other Christians to help them stand strong. If they are not attending church regularly, that reinforcement slowly fades away. And so do the morals and values of the family which, in turn, leads to the moral decline in America.

THE TRUTH: Families need to be in church consistently. You don’t need to be legalistic, but be strategic about how much your family misses. Consider what is really important long term for you and your kids. 

How Does Morality Affect Us? 7 Ways to Reverse the Trend

Make no mistake, we are affected by the lack of morality in our country.

Check out these 7 things you can do as a parent to reverse the moral decline in America. If Satan had these things strategically removed from our schools and government, you know exactly what you need to do…add them back!

Here is a list of morals and values to implement into your family:

1. Read the Bible- Not only do you need to read the Bible, read it to your kids regularly too. Pass your faith on to the next generation. Live according to its precepts with a balance of truth and grace. Admit when you are wrong and forgive easily. Love your kids unconditionally.

RELATEDWhy Is Faith Important As a Married Couple? Passing Down a Legacy

2. Pray-you need a strong prayer life to raise kids these days. Pray with your kids and spend time praying alone. If Satan removed it from our schools, you know it is important. Prayer has the power to change things that seem impossible.

RELATEDHow to Pray for Your Child in Your War Room (really pray)

3. Follow God’s Commands-the Ten Commandments are important. It’s a great summation of God’s laws. Furthermore, you don’t have to stop there. The Bible is full of great wisdom on how to live daily according to God’s will.

Routinely reinforce that God’s laws offer freedom whereas the world’s laws look fun for a time but, eventually, you end up in bondage.

RELATED25 Godly Quotes to Inspire You to Live Life to the Fullest

4. Stay Married, if possible-marriage is sacred. Treat it as such. Work through your difficulties or seek help if you are stuck. Fight for your marriage as this is Satan’s number one way to divide and conquer your family.

A strong family will help you raise strong children. Don’t be afraid to call out abuse and take steps to protect you and your kids, if necessary. Find a male role model for your kids if their father isn’t going to be there.

RELATEDThe #1 Secret to a Happy Marriage For Young Couples

5. Teach Abstinence-teach your kids to wait. Start early and reinforce it in every way you can. Talk about the blessings of freedom for those who wait. Teach delayed gratification and that sin has big consequences.

RELATED: Why Wait Until Marriage? 15 Life-Altering Reasons Your Teen Needs to Know

6. Join a Church-it is important for your family to be supported by the local church. Find a place that reinforces biblical values and also embraces relationships with other like-minded families. You can’t do this alone. You will be swimming upstream and get washed out pretty quickly without encouragement.

7. Family Time-you need to spend time together as a family and develop a strong relationship with each child. Eat together, volunteer, worship and pray together, go on vacations, play, create fun family memories, read books out loud, talk about current events, and most of all, listen.

Ask questions and value what your kids say. You will need this bond to parent in the teen years and redeem the moral decline in America.

RELATEDFamily Bonding Activities: The Best Way to Get Close to Your Kids

How Can Moral Values Be Improved in a Society?

Improving moral values in American society can be daunting if you look at the whole picture. The truth is the only thing you can do is your part and encourage those around you to do theirs. Stand up for what is right, just, honest, and pure (Phil. 4:8).

Don’t fall for the lies of the world any longer. Reverse the trend. You have seen the consequences of doing it man’s way. It’s disastrous!

Follow God’s ways instead.

It will lead you to real freedom instead of the hidden bondage so many women, in particular, are falling into unknowingly.

By teaching the truth to your kids, you will be raising morally strong kids. Not perfect kids, but ones that clearly understand right from wrong.

Most of all, pray our country has a Great Awakening. We need revival more than ever!

I’ll leave you with one more fact: Getting an education, a decent job, staying married, and having a child in wedlock will statistically put you at low risk for divorce and keep you out of poverty. Ain’t that something? God’s ways work.

How have you reversed the moral decline in America? What has worked for your family?

Do You Have Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you experiencing family problems or even estranged? Are you feeling shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store. 

This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family but also gives solid tips to help you with your own family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.

Reversing the Moral Decline In America: 7 Biblical Ways to Raise Strong Kids 3

Creating Family Memories Book

Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids.  It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite bookstore.

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109 thoughts on “Reversing the Moral Decline In America: 7 Biblical Ways to Raise Strong Kids”

  1. The womb being the most dangerous place for a baby to be is SO sad! Our world has gotten out of hand. I cry out for Jesus to ‘please return now!!!’ quite often anymore.

    1. Chanell, thank you for your comment. I definitely did a lot of research. You can’t deny that kids need a father and a mother. Both roles are important. School shooters especially seem to be lacking a father or male role model. I hope others will see how important it is to take parenting seriously.

  2. I found something like a couple of weeks before, but
    you did in-depth research, along with your post seems to be much more compelling than the others.
    I’m astounded with the arguments you provided in addition to the type of your post.
    I enjoy when posts are both informative and interesting, when even boring facts are presented
    in an interactive manner. Well, it’s surely on your article.

    1. Yes, I have been working on this post for a long time. A lot of reading and research went into this. So sad to see boys who do not have a strong male influence in their lives.

  3. Thanks for being brave enough to write about this. It was really interesting to read, and while I don’t necessarily agree with every point, I do think family is extremely important and that better gun laws aren’t the magic answer here.

  4. Yes! I totally agree with everything you said and I’m so glad to finally see someone pointing to these issues! <3 Gun control isn't the only argument to be made and thank you for having the courage to speak to problems that aren't being talked about!

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement . I am actually shocked at the amount of positive feedback. It’s been a huge confirmation that someone needs to speak out.

  5. It is refreshing to hear someone say that yes, we need gun control and yes, we need to make mental health care more affordable/available, but no neither of these will put a stop to ALL gun violence. I agree that as parents we have a responsibility to teach our children morals and values – we need to be involved in our kids lives and not hand them over to social media. Thank you for your willingness to speak on such a controversial topic.

      1. There are very serious flaws with these unsubstantiated claims. This doesn’t happen in countries that are far less religious and right wing than the US. This doesn’t happen in other countries with high rates of divorce and no prayer in schools for even longer than the US. Sorry, non of this makes sense.

        1. Most other countries put a high value on respect, honor, and loyalty to family and those in authority. Our society has devalued life, authority, and respect. You can’t deny that the one thing that connects all these kids is the father relationship. Do some reading. This is not a right-wing issue. This is a moral issue. It’s a God issue. We have traded truth for “freedom.” Freedom to do as we please. And there is a price to pay for no boundaries. It’s like driving on the highway with no speed limit. Cars are gonna crash.

  6. First let me say you are very brave to even approach this topic. This topic is a hot button and people have very strong feelings about it so kudos to you for putting your opinions into writing. I agree with many of the points that you made and having a strong family value is so important.

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words. It is controversial, but I think the fact so many people have been positive says something. I know not everyone agrees, but the stats are pretty shocking.

  7. Its interesting to read and informative. You’re right women has a responsibility in the society for developing the youth and even if a child has to be raise without a father, that child can still be good person as how her mother or family raise him.

    1. Absolutely! Lots of great people have been raised by a single mom. I’ve never met a single mom who didn’t wish for some help though. It’s a rough job going at it alone. Kudos to single moms for being there always.

  8. very interesting perspective. I don’t necessarily agree with every point but I think encouraging family and communication overall is key!

  9. Those statistic are down right staggering. While I do not have children, I can completely relate to all of your points via family members, friends and neighbors. The core family value are complete skewed these days and are a huge contributing factor to these violent acts with our youth. I also think America should really focus on metal health and providing screens in schools for kids that may not be diagnosed anywhere else.

  10. This is such a powerful post! We have so much that we can do to help and deter this school shootings from happening. It is becoming way too much of a norm that is frightening.

  11. I do understand where you are coming from. The coarsening of our culture has made people’s view of life change. This in turn has lead to people not caring as much when they commit these horrific acts unfortunately.

  12. Not sure I agree with you. Yes a lot needs to be done so we do not have to endure anymore of these tragedies but I do not think blaming women is the key. I also do not think that divorce causes a child to be “fatherless”. I feel like there is a lot of misinformation here but I also say “whatever helps!”

    1. I respect your opinion. If you go back and read my blog you’ll see I never blame women. I say that women can help by doing certain things. Our behaviour can help or further aggravate the situation. I believe in women being empowered. Nothing leaves a women more powerless than to be pregnant and no one to be there to help financially and physically to raise the child.
      In the long run, biblical principals work best. Just by waiting to have sex until marriage it cuts out abortion, STD’s and single parenting.

    2. Incorrect. Many married women get abortions. Many married women are cheated on and get STIs. Even religious ones.

      And divorce helps free women from abuse and mistreatment. It doesn’t make a child fatherless. The father not being involved makes the child fatherless. It has nothing to do with the woman.

  13. This is a very interesting viewpoint. I’m not sure that I am in 100% agreement with everything you say, but you have presented the information in a good way.

  14. It’s sad to wake up almost every day hearing about another school shooting. It saddens me that it keeps happening across the nation. These are all meaningful tips that can help.

  15. I think need improvement in this US open culture some points are as under
    Banned gun culture & improve security
    Teach every child moral values with love & kindness
    Have to be family every parents & live together as a joint till death & develop family culture & support each other in any problem even if in neighborhood also
    Every parents have to live long as a companions & get compromise by forgetting ego in life
    To be develop culture of help & device was as well as security
    Society have to decrease ratio of divorce by understanding couples & help children’s life improvement & good developing
    Faith in god & spiritual values
    Respect parents & family avoid hating
    May be develop a good society.

      1. Thank you for having the courage to write about this issue. We live in a time now where moral values seem to have gone the way of the dodo bird. We need to sit up and make some changes before society sinks into further decline – lots of freedoms but no responsibilities to go with it. Bless you.

  16. I totally agree with your viewpoint and so comforted by the fact that someone openly acknowledges all this. I think it is rather unfortunate that religion, the institution of marriage and saying no to sex before marriage have become taboo topics. People actually look down on anyone who brings religion or anything sacred to the discussion room. I believe Gad created these rules for our benefit and when we stray from the right path , we end up with anxieties both emotional and physical. Schools and governments need to work together to get religion and a strong value system back in the forefront to ensure that our future generations have more stable support and upbringing. Thank you so much for posting this.

  17. Woah. so much misinformation and so much blame on women! It is not the mom’s fault if the father chooses not to present! Why aren’t you blaming dads for not staying in their child’s life?

    Also, just because you get divorced doesn’t mean your child is suddenly fatherless, many parents co-parent just fine. No one should stay in a marriage for the sake of the children. Children with unhappy parents have unhappy childhoods, I for one wished my parents would divorce, to this day they are still together and I am in therapy trying to get over my anxiety of not turning into my mother.

    Gun control is not just an American problem. You don’t see other countries like the UK, Australia, Canada having gun issues. They have just as many divorces and abortions as we do. The key is GUN CONTROL! The USA is severely lacking in it. It is easier to get a Gun in our country than it is to vote!

    1. I hear your point of view. I clearly state we need to address guns and mental health, but the stats show children who are fatherless are at a much higher risk for mental health issues, violence, drugs, etc.Many issues in society are because of the breakdown of the family. My title is how women can help. Not how women can be blamed.
      We bear the responsibility of who we choose in the first place to sleep with. Waiting until marriage to have sex would practically eliminate abortion, STDs, and birth out of wedlock. Kids weren’t shooting up schools 30 years ago. They haven’t all the sudden gone crazy. It’s the father is not there anymore to mentor the son.

  18. blair villanueva

    I felt sad and worried about the increasing school shooting in US. School should be the safest place for all of us, and now it is gone. My friends are now thinking of moving their kids out of US and transferring back to Asia for safety reason.

    If this doesn’t solve, it will be a domino effect.

  19. I believe that we can make a change. I agree, teach the children moral values and be present in their lives is a starting point but there is so much more we can do other than that.

  20. We don’t have a right to bear arms over here in the UK – and I’m so glad that we don’t. I can’t imagine the pain or the loss felt in the USA and the fear parents must experience in sending their children to school.

  21. Its painful to see where we’ve come as a society. My mom is a retired school teacher, and I think she’d agree to most of what you’re saying.

  22. As the years pass we keep letting go of the values that used to matter to us. The school shootings won’t end with gun laws and all that. We have to do something about it ourselves. There is so much that women can do about this and I love all your suggestions.

  23. you really touched a very sensitive subject not many seem to understand or want to talk/hear about. Congratulations on your article and the way you exposed the problem.

  24. Very insightful article right here and I love the take you have in terms of this gun issue we have. Thanks for sharing and I will definitely consider your recommendations

  25. Agentszerozerosetter

    I think all can do the difference to fight against this. Sure education and family have an important role, laws (no arms for everyone)… More control on teenagers, it’s so sad when similar events happens, so many lives ruined, why?!:(

  26. I can understand the information that you’re presenting. I do think that parents have an incredible responsibility for raising great children but the child themselves are also responsible

  27. Agnes Vazhure

    This is such a great post. There are some things that we can do to end the school shootings. and we need to work on it.

  28. I was a single parent to my 2 older kids before I met my husband. Although they grew up without a father they had father figures in their lives in the form of my dad and brother. And I’m so thankful that they filled up the missing pieces in the puzzle. And I thin that’s very important. I had so many regrets in my life, if only I waited and if only I listened to my parents I wouldn’t be in that situation. Like you, I believe that the foundation of morals and values start at home. But in my case, with all honesty I can say that my parents did everything to raise me right. The problem was within me. That only proves that as parents, we can only do much. But that doesn’t mean, we don’t try hard enough.

    1. Thank you for such an honest reply. The thing about your situation is you made a full circle. Your parents did do a good job. You may have strayed a while but because your family stayed in there, you came back. I wish you many wonderful years together.

  29. The stats are heavy in this area. I am in complete agreement that this is not just a ‘man” issue. We are designed by God to live in families and to build communities. I think one of the things the birth control pill, abortion and easily dissolvable marriages provided was an individualism that is not sustainable.

    Single parents without extended family are faced with some tough decisions for everyday survival.
    I whole heartedly agree with your suggestion for single mothers and single fathers to find strong value based christian community to help with the raising of cildren.

    1. Thank you for your comments. Yes, we were designed to live together with a mother and father. I know that’s not possible for some, but making good choices in the beginning ensures a much better chance for future children to succeed.

  30. Cornelius Longbottom

    I don’t think any of the reasons you cited have any relationship to mass shootings. Divorce rates have risen across the world and we don’t see anything on the same level as in the US. It is far better for a woman and her kids to leave a terrible relationship than to stay in it. There is no stabilizing effect in just having a man around.

    What we do have a problem with is the toxic way that men see themselves in the US that is not seen anywhere else in the world. Just listen or read what mass shooters if they left anything behind and you will see that they were all entitled and felt that the world owed them something. It’s not an issue with religion or morality as many of them were devout Christians or their families said they all were. It’s all them and their view on the world. Couple that with access to guns and the inevitable will happen.

    1. I hear you. There are a lot of factors that go into this. I added an info graphic that gives 10 more statistics about the connection to crime, mental illness, drugs, and high school dropout rates with those who are fatherless children. The numbers are staggering.
      You’re right. These boys are angry, entitled, and revengeful. My theory is a lot of that rage is because of what has happened at home first and then the rejection at school.
      Thanks for commenting. I know my thoughts are controversial, and not everyone will agree with me.

  31. I can def see where you are coming from but I dont think those are the reasons for school shootings. I am from a split home and me and my siblings do not have the desire to shoot anyone. We had some church in our life but very very little. I personally believe a lot of it has to do with mental illness but that is just me. I did not come here to argue with anyone on the fact I just think it was a weird excuse that you chose to talk about.

    1. I appreciate your comments. I know this is really controversial and not everyone will agree. I added an info graphic that gives 10 more statistics which includes the percentage of children who are fatherless and have mental illness, commit crimes, get into drugs, and drop out of school. The numbers are staggering. Most of the numbers are over 70%.
      Of course, not everyone is going to do these things if they are fatherless. But the ones who do, most have this in common.
      I’m glad you do not suffer with any of this in your family. You are blessed.

  32. You bring up some really valid points Julie. When the family system breaks down, the children are the ones that struggle the most. This is a complex topic as you described. An area that I would add on to would the be devaluing of life in multiple ways. You described abortion which I completely agree altered people’s view of life. In addition, our children are being bombarded with more and more violence in media – tv shows, movies, and video games. The addition of virtual reality gaming makes this all the more dangerous. When we add the desensitization of violence to boys without father figures and/or a life of neglect and abuse, the results are incredibly high for mental health issues. There also needs to be greater education in the foster care system.

    1. You are so right. I didn’t even go into media. This is another huge component. Yes, the mental health issues are caused by what are children are being exposed to. Kids who are left to themselves and are not monitored on their phone, social accounts and what they play on videos are much more likely to commit violent acts.

  33. Stacy Sitarski

    Love this! Seldom do you see any solutions that actually get to the core of the problem. Thank you for this. Oh, and I remember a conversation I had with my grandma one time. She was saying many of the same things as you did on how and why our world was changing…not for the good. That always stuck with me and changed my view on life and what my priorities should be. 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for acknowledging this. I feel like there is such a disconnect with women. They can’t see that their choices make a difference for good or bad. When we take the time to choose our men wisely the outcome is so much better. If a man can’t wait, then his intentions are to use you more than love you. That’s not the best way to start a relationship-with a selfish man.

  34. Number #2 is important to me! I am single and I am purposely not having kids until I am married and I want a strong family. I didnt realize the statistic for these school shootings are angry little boys without fathers, boys need there fathers and they are definitely lashing out without that male influence to balance them out.

    1. I’m so glad you are able to see the connection. It is so important to wait, think, and choose wisely. Picking a husband and father is one of the biggest decisions in a woman’s life yet we do it sometimes on a one night stand. How have women come so far yet been blinded so easily??

    1. If you look at my title, it says, “5 ways women can help.” I’m not blaming women. I am saying we can make healthier choices for ourselves and our future children. When you become connected with a man sexually, you have to consider if he would be a good husband and role model for future children. There is always a chance of pregnancy. There are 60 million other women who didn’t think they would get pregnant and they did only to choose abortion as a way out. Or there are the other 30%-50% who chose to have their baby alone. A child needs a father just as much as a mother. Women have gotten the idea they don’t need a man to raise children. It’s just wrong.
      These concepts have been pulled out of school for so long that we have one to two generations who are disconnected with cause and effect. I’m trying to tell women they can do better than they are doing when picking a man. I’m going to the root of one of the issues.
      And you’re right. Society has changed its values. WE are society.

  35. There are so many things that we can do to end the school shootings. It’s good to look back on our values and stick to them as much as we could. It’s really important that the kids grow in a nurturing and loving home with both the parents. Only if it’s possible, because there are unavoidable situations wherein separation is healthier.

  36. I love this. What a wonderful story of love. I realize mistakes will be made. You acknowledged it and moved to better choices. So glad you have a great marriage, and your son has a fabulous role model. Thanks for your comment.

  37. Love this! I do think that more folks need to wait for sex till they find the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I didn’t, I wish I had but my folks were divorced and my father was not as active as he should have been in my life so I was always looking for the male attention I wasn’t getting and needed. My husband has only ever been with me and doesn’t seem to regret it at all and we have been together 17 years. I pray daily that our son will follow in his footsteps in that aspect. Change starts at home and if you don’t have a stable home you can’t expect to have stable teens and adults.

    1. What a sweet response. You have turned your life in a positive direction. I’m sure your son will be a wonderful young mom with two wonderful parents. Thanks for reading.

  38. Who knew that posts like this would not only be relevant, but also needed?!!! Sad times we live in. I agree with many of the reasons behind the uptick in school shootings, as well as what women can do to help stem the tide. I’m not an abstinence only person, because I think its unrealistic in many aspects, but I do agree that women have to make better choices with regard to who they procreate with, and that father’s have got to step up to the plate and be present, and a moral compass to guide the family.

    1. Thank you so much for the validation. I knew the abstinence part would be quite unpopular. Most people think it’s ok to experiment. It kinda reminds me of the pot issue. Just as pot is the gateway to drugs, premarital sex is the gateway to sexual diseases, emotional trauma, and abortion.
      I heard there was another shooting today. I wonder if it is a fatherless boy?

    1. Yes, these kids are angry because they don’t feel loved. They haven’t gotten the attention at home they need, so they are going to get someone’s attention one way or another. Thanks for your comment.

  39. I am not religious at all, but I think I did choose a good man for a husband! I don’t agree with staying married if it’s not working though. Kids would prefer to have happy separate parents than ones who fight all the time.

    1. I totally get that. I was just recommending the parents try counseling before they give up. I think a lot more marriages could be saved if divorce weren’t so easy to get. There are times when it’s so toxic that divorce is necessary.

  40. The increase in school shootings is really heartbreaking. I think it’s important to create positivity and love to our children (boys and girls).
    xoxo
    Annie

  41. I don’t believe that there is a stereotype of the “school shooters”. I think they are just mental unstable, and that has nothing to do with women having sex before marriage or staying married! Staying married when the relationship doesn’t work anymore can create more stress on the child than getting a divorce because of all the fighting! As an example, there has been a school shooting in the UK in ’96. That’s when all the guns have been banned. There hasn’t been a shooting ever since!

    1. My issue is the fact we have so many fatherless children who are shooters. This is a pattern . The stats back my claim. If you work backwards, you can trace the poor decisions made long before the child becomes a teen.
      It starts many years earlier when kids are born out of wedlock (no father), absent fathers due to divorce, or fathers who just randomly walk away because they are tired of being a dad.

      To further my point…as a teacher, I can say 90% of the time, when I contact a parent because of discipline problems in the classroom, there is not a father in the home. It is a single mom trying to do her best to raise her kids.
      I hope you will reconsider your position because you could be one of the stats I listed. One day you wake up, and you realize you are the one in the mess. Not someone else.

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