4 Reasons Why I Chose to Be a Stay Home Mom
Should I go back to work or should I be a stay home mom? Many women struggle with this terrible decision after they have had a child. If you choose to be a stay home mom, the family income can drop significantly in some cases. If you leave, then your child is raised by someone else. I certainly can’t tell you what to do, but these are the things my husband and I considered when we made our decision:
1. I Couldn’t Leave My Babies.
I REALLY wanted to stay home with my babies. This is the main reason I chose to be a stay home mom. I could not in a million years leave them to someone else. This is a personal choice.
It was either daycare or me. (No one in the family was available to care for my children.) I just couldn’t do daycare and even if a family member were available, I wouldn’t be able to give them to someone else. No one would love my children like I did; not even family members. I was bonded with them from day one. Frankly, I would have been a mess at work if I even tried. It just wasn’t worth it.
2. My Job.
I was a teacher. The salary I was making was not really enough for me to keep working. You would think a teacher’s salary would cover everything, but it was a toss-up. My husband ran the numbers, and it was maybe a $200 gain every month for me to work.
I don’t think people really know how to run the numbers. You have to include a really good car, gas, wardrobe, daycare, eating out more, sickness (kids and me), and taxes to the budget. This adds up.
My husband has run the numbers for many clients over the years, and they can’t believe how much money it’s actually COSTING for the wife to work. If the wife is not getting paid a pretty high salary (more than a teacher), having a second income may not be worth it.
A stay at home businesses such as blogging is the best of both worlds. That is becoming a huge trend for moms. The numbers can work that way. I didn’t have a stay home job, but I figured out ways to save all sorts of money. Couponing, garage sales, repurposing furniture, etc.
Most of all, we reduced the budget by cutting our spending. We drove older cars, I discount shopped for my clothes, and my kids wore their cousin’s hand-me-downs Looking back, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Here are some tips on how to afford to be a stay at home mom.
3. Experience the First Moments and Teach Them
As a stay home mom, I could be the first one to experience all the milestones my kids would have. The first time they would roll over, crawl, walk, or run, I would be there to celebrate with them. I’m sure others would celebrate these things, but the fact that I would miss them just made my heart sink. I wanted to be the one to teach them how to color, sound out letters, and read their first word.
I’m a teacher at heart, so it was important I teach them the things I thought were important. Most of all, I could teach my kids about God. And pray with them. I could help nurture a relationship with God like no one else.
I knew that if I handed my kids over to other people, there would be valuable time lost on bonding as well as discipline. In order to discipline effectively, there needs to be a strong relationship first.
Rules without relationship equals rebellion. Simple yet so hard. This goes for even when a child is young. Babies, toddlers, and young children need to understand the word “no.” And obey it.
You get obedience a lot easier if the child feels a connection of love first, and then the “no.” If a child is at a daycare all day, the last thing you are going to want to do when you get home is discipline.
Your relationship would be more negative time than positive time. Typically, when a mother gets home from work, she is tired and not willing to put in the extra effort to be consistent anyways. It’s just very hard to be all things to all people, all the time.
And then there is the guilt for not being there. Parents can tend to not only forgo those teachable moments to obey, but they spoil their child to make up for lost time. That would probably have been me-guilt ridden and willing to spoil them.
It is for these 4 reasons my husband and I made the decision it was best for me to be a stay home mom. I have no regrets whatsoever. When you are deciding, ask yourself if you will have regrets in 20 years.
What decision will stand the test of time when it is all over. It is important to make the best choice for everyone in the family, but it needs to be something you can personally live with every day.
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