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Are you looking for positive parenting tips to help with your teens? I am a substitute teacher plus I have just finished raising two teens. Let me tell you, those were some hard years!
As a mom and teacher, I am constantly listening and observing other kids and their families. So it was no surprise that when I was subbing an honors class last week that I decided to pick their brains.
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I wanted to know if there were any common denominators between the students. Successful teens don’t just happen.
They are cut, molded, and polished over many years. Instead of making my honor students do any assignments, I decided to ask them about how they were parented. Here are the six positive parenting tips I learned from successful teens.
Positive Parenting Tips from Successful Teens
Here are the positive parenting tips all the students had in common. In fact, they wanted to make sure I included each tip as it was important to them that other parents understand what makes them tick.
1. Positive reinforcement
All the teenagers said they were so thankful for the positive reinforcement given to them by not only their parents but the teachers. They liked it when they were caught doing “good.” They preferred this kind of motivation over threats or punishment.
2. Relationship with parents
Each student reinforced the fact they had a good relationship with their parents. It wasn’t always perfect, but they knew they were loved. The relationship was strong enough that they didn’t want to disappoint them. I think this is one of the best positive parenting tips for moms and dads.
3. Real-world experience
They all loved it when their parents trusted them with some real-world experience (freedom). One person said that being too strict can create a liar. I tried to explain that priveledges needed to be earned. I think that may have passed over their heads.
4. Being relatable
They liked it when their parents told them about their own mishaps as a young person. In fact, they wanted their parents to be honest about their mistakes and remember what it was like to be a teen. I think it made them feel better to know their parents were human.
They appreciated it when their parents were approachable. They said they hated it when their parents overreacted to the small stuff. When they did that, they were less likely to tell their parents about the big stuff. Ouch, I am pretty sure I did that as a parent.
6. Balanced rules
The seniors said they wanted the rules to make sense. “Because I said so…” was a real pet peeve. They liked knowing why they can’t or shouldn’t do something. They appreciated it when their parents or teachers took the time to explain “why.”
How to Raise a Good Teenager
From my conversation with the senior AP class, I gathered most of them have parents on the firmer side. They expected a lot out of them, but they are reasonable for the most part. There is a solid relationship built by their parents that will weather the storms.
As a parent, I can say that raising a good teenager is hard. There is a balance of earned trust mixed with fear because you know your teen is curious and a bit foolish still. There is this constant push and pull before your baby flies out of the nest.
I appreciate the seniors giving other parents the most positive parenting tips. If I could sum it up in a few sentences from them it would be the following:
“Thank you for developing a relationship with us and encouraging us to be the best. Trust us with what we have learned. We will make you proud. When we do mess up (and we will), please continue to love us as your own.”
Don’t forget to pray for your kids!
Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!
Are you experiencing family problems or even estranged? Are you feeling shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.
This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family, but it also gives solid tips to help you with your own family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.
Creating Family Memories Book
Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite bookstore.
Join Christian Family Living Facebook Group
Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Family Living. This is a place for Christian women to share their experiences and get helpful tools to navigate the Christian life. We love to laugh, cry, and encourage each other to live out our faith one day at a time.