Tired of Not Being the Fun Parent? 3 Reasons to Keep Going
Are you tired of not being the fun parent? Parenting is hard work. It’s definitely not fun some of the time. Being a mother, in particular, is hard because you are reinforcing the same thing day after day.
For some reason, my kids thought I got a big charge out of bossing them around all the time. Like I somehow enjoyed telling them to get out of bed and get ready for school. Frankly, I wished I could just jump back in bed with them and call it a day.
Instead, I had to get up with them and push through another day of meals, homework, and sports. (For several years I had to have my daughter at cross country by 6 am. Argh.)
There is nothing like having to be the adult in the room when the inner child or “fun parent” is screaming to come out and play. Often, I had to quietly stuff “fun mom” into a closet and leave her screaming and banging on the door while “boring mom” got up and made breakfast.
Moms Are Usually Not That Fun
You see, I am the main taskmaster of the family. I’m really not the fun parent that I wish I could be. Although, I do try. (I usually just make myself look like a dork.)
My husband definitely has had his share of commands to the kids, but I am still the main ogre. It has mostly been up to me to make sure our children are well-mannered, educated, spiritual, healthy, and all around good people.
This takes a lot of correction and molding. It hasn’t been easy. I think the worst thing I had to do was be the sargent in command on a school night. I am the one who was constantly bossing them to eat dinner, put their cell phone up, do homework, get ready for bed, and encourage Bible reading.
How many ways can you say the same thing day after day? It’s as if they have never heard, “It’s 10 pm. Put up the phone!”
They would have this sort of shocked look when I would call them out. It’s like they didn’t know the rules or that they had been purposely targeted for cruel and unusual punishment.
Related: Related: The Value of a Stay Home Mom
It’s a Thankless Job!
Being a mom is a thankless job somedays. In fact, no child says, “Thanks mom for making me eat my green vegetables, ruining my social life, or isolating me in my room for hours to do reading and math so I can be an amazing adult someday.”
If you are waiting for some sort of great platitude or public announcement of your great sacrifice and strength-don’t hold your breath. It’s not coming. The rewards come years later.
You will have to wait until they can articulate a sentence that starts with something other than, “Why do I have to…” or “No one else has to…”
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One Day You Will Be Amazing
One day it will happen. You will be amazing after your child leaves. Maybe even a little fun. Your child will call home and thank you. It may only be one time, but I guarantee you it will happen.
He may not even be able to articulate it out loud, but it is coming. When my son went to college, I got a text. I didn’t erase it for months.
He specifically thanked me for making him read. He told me how much he loved me and appreciated everything I did for him. And then years later he publicly thanked me on Facebook for making him clean his room. That seems to be torture in my house.
I thought I might pass out both times. Where’s the smelling salt? I suggest you print the text or Facebook tribute if it happens to you.
Maybe even frame it right by your computer so you see it every now and then. I was beyond happy, even giddy, that he would finally admit a tiny bit that I was right about something!
I can’t tell you how many times I wondered if my kids were going to visit me in my old age. Or perhaps both my kids were secretly plotting to just lock me up somewhere as a way of revenge.
Related: When Your Baby Leaves Home For Good
Three Truths For You to Remember
Here are three truths for you to remember next time your child rolls his eyes, blames you for ruining his social life, or accuses you of being boring. Remind yourself every day of the following:
1. It is temporary.
One day your kids will understand why you made them do their homework, volunteer, eat healthy, and go to church. The pain is temporary, although I know it feels like it is going to last forever.
2. It pays off.
One day you will look back and be so glad you encouraged (strongly) your kids to make good choices. It is painful right now, but it will be worth it later. Don’t give up. Keep reinforcing the right things and eventually, they will get it.
3. Maturity helps.
Time has a way of working out some of the problems. When your kids are older, they will look back and finally understand why you did what you did. Well, mostly understand…there are a few black holes.
It Won’t Last Forever
If you are tired of not being the fun parent, just remember it won’t last forever. The kids do mature and, eventually, they realize you were tough on them because you loved them.
And don’t forget, you can still have lots of fun in between all the work. Your day is coming. Don’t give up!
What things do you tell your kids to do day after day? Are you fun?
Book About Estrangement in a Christian Family
Are you experiencing family problems? Perhaps you and a loved one are no longer speaking. Don’t go another day without reading this book. It addresses family problems and estrangement from a biblical point of view. Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart is on Amazon or in your favorite digital store.
Get Creating Family Memories for FREE in exchange for your email. If you get this book, it will help you build a good relationship with your kids so that when the hard times come (teen years), you will be able to weather the storm.
Scroll down or look to the side to sign up. You can also get it for $2.99 at your favorite bookstore.
Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Parenting and Family. This is a place for moms with preschool age kids or older to talk about their struggles with parenting, family life, education, or marriage.
You will find biblically based advise from other moms who want to raise godly kids.
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