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As newlyweds, we thought we had all the biblical keys to a successful marriage… until our first fight. 

Can you say dumpster fire?

When it happened,  I locked myself in our bedroom. I was never coming out. And he, certainly, was never coming in. Unfortunately, we lived in a 600 sq. ft. condo, so that didn’t last long.

I had to let my husband into the bedroom and into my life. The problem was that I had serious trust issues, and neither of us was good at handling conflict.

I would run away, pout, cry, and ruminate for days. He would push harder, not listen, and make decisions without talking to me first.  And we were both pros at the silent treatment.  Yeah, that worked.

We were functioning the best we knew how, but over time, we realized that wasn’t good enough. We thought that since we were Christians, we would automatically know the qualities of a healthy marriage and act on them.

I laugh now. We had a lot to learn. Humility, for starters…

Eventually, we got busy and learned how to have a good marriage. We just celebrated 30 years together. We now facilitate a marriage group at our church by God’s grace. We have indeed come a long way!

These 15 biblical keys to a successful marriage are tips we have learned from our marriage group workbook, counseling, books, podcasts, and, painfully, through trial and error.

I highly recommend these biblical marriage principles. They will help you bond as a couple and weather the storms when they hit. If you haven’t had a locked-in-the-bedroom moment yet, you probably will.

RELATED: How to Resolve Conflict in Marriage: 7 Positive Ways to Deal with Your Spouse

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15 Biblical Keys to a Successful Marriage

Check out these 15 keys to a successful marriage so you will have an epic married life. These words of wisdom aren’t just advice for newlyweds; they are also good marriage tips for any couple, no matter how many years they have been married.

1. Communication

Make time to talk to each other daily. If you have kids, train them to play quietly for about 30 minutes so you can catch up. Give consequences if they keep interrupting; it’s that important!

You need to hear what is happening in each other’s lives and with the kids.

2. Forgiveness

Let go quickly of offenses. Holding grudges or revenge will eat away at your relationship.

A professional must address habitual destructive patterns; however, forgiveness is still the answer. In my opinion, forgiveness is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage.

RELATED: 5 Burning Reasons Why You Need to Forgive Those Who Hurt You

3. Sexual intimacy

Make love regularly. Sexual intimacy is the thermometer of the relationship. If you aren’t engaged with each other, something is probably wrong outside the bedroom. Address it before temptation causes one of you to stumble.

I am sure most husbands will agree this is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage!

4. Humility

Be quick to admit when you are wrong. There is nothing worse than living with someone who is prideful. Arrogance stunts growth as a spouse and as a Christian. Furthermore, God hates pride and loves humility(Prov. 8:13). This, by far, is one of the biblical keys to a successful marriage.

5. Loyalty

Don’t give your spouse any reason to distrust you. Texting/messaging a person of the opposite sex, FB friends with an old flame, deep conversations, or even meals with the opposite sex are not appropriate.

This will only open the door and invite trouble into your marriage. Loyalty is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage.

6. Faith

Marry someone who loves Jesus and is growing as a believer. The Bible talks about not being unequally yoked ( 2 Cor. 6:14). When you have different beliefs, you tend to pull against each other instead of working in the same direction.

This is one of the very best biblical keys to a successful marriage!

RELATED: Why Is Faith Important As a Married Couple? Passing Down a Legacy

7. Romance

Go on a date night every week. If you can’t leave, do something at home together after the kids go to bed. Play a game, picnic outside or on the floor, make a romantic dinner with candles, etc. Take time to rekindle those feelings you had when you were dating.

Romance is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage. Check out Song of Solomon for more tips!

8. Encouragement

One of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage is to be quick to praise your spouse publically and privately. If you encourage and cheer your spouse, they will continue to do more good than bad. A critical spirit will destroy a marriage in no time, so hold your tongue.

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9. Security

Wives, in particular, need security. (This is one of the best marriage tips for a husband.) Live in a safe space, save for the future, and make a budget so you both know where you are financially and don’t run out of money.

This is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage.

RELATED: How to Save Your Money: 101 Easy Tips Anyone Can Do

10. Respect

Husbands, particularly, crave respect as the leader of the home. (This is one of the best marriage tips for a wife.) Additionally, if you want your marriage to thrive, you need to have good boundaries and respect each other.

This is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage.

11. Personal growth

Continue to grow as a person. Read books about marriage, take a marriage course at church, listen to podcasts together, and worship together at your local church. Working on yourself is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage.

12. Patience

Your spouse isn’t perfect. Give lots of grace so that it will flow freely back to you. Be understanding. Allow for differences and preferences. This is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage you can both do.

13. Love

The greatest thing you can do is love your spouse. Read 1 Corinthians 13 so you understand what all this entails. These other tips will all be included if you genuinely love with all your heart and are willing to die to yourself daily. This is one of the best keys to a successful marriage.

14. Kindness

Your tone of voice and your nonverbal matter. How you say something is important. No one wants to be around a sarcastic, snappy, irritable, or rude person. Treat your spouse like you treat your friends. This is the one thing I hear from women. They want their husband to be nice to them.

Kindness is one of the best biblical keys to a successful marriage.

15. Prayer

Pray for your spouse every day. Pray for their job, health, role in the family, struggles, etc. If you are frustrated with your spouse, pray for God to work on changing them. This is one of the greatest biblical keys to a successful marriage.

RELATED: How to Change Your Husband With These 5 Powerful Prayers

These 15 qualities of a healthy marriage can also be made into a healthy marriage checklist. I suggest you refer to these marriage tips occasionally to avoid getting too far off track with your spouse.

Strengthening your relationship skills is one of the best things you can do to have a successful marriage if you want to stay together.

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What Makes a Strong Marriage?

So, what keeps a marriage together? Along with these 15 biblical keys to a successful marriage, I suggest you attend a Bible study for married couples, such as a Sunday School class on Sunday morning or a Bible study group during the week.

As a couple, it is important to have accountability. If you are struggling and not there for a month or two, a good class with caring members will check up on you. This can be a good stop-gap measure before you go off the rails. Of course, if you don’t open up, no one can help.

It is important to be vulnerable and live honestly with a few trusted Christian couples willing to speak truth and grace.

RELATED: How to Change Your Husband: 30-Day Marriage Challenge

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What About Happiness In Marriage?

Gary Thoma has a book titled Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?  When I first encountered this book, I was a little angry. I was under the impression that my spouse was supposed to make me happy.

Over the years, I have learned that marriage reflects our relationship with Jesus. Jesus is the husband, and we are the bride of Christ. The bride of Christ constantly needs refinement until He comes back. He is working on the church to reflect Him.

Just like the spiritual bride of Christ, we as spouses need refinement too. Yes, marriage does bring happiness, but holiness is the first objective. If you want a successful marriage, work on your character. This will make everyone happy.

By the way, leave your spouse to God. He can refine him or her just fine without you involved.

I hope these 15 biblical keys to a successful marriage will be a helpful guide for you and your spouse as you live life together. My prayer is that you will put God first in your marriage so that you grow together in a loving way toward Him.

Do you agree with these 15 biblical keys to a successful marriage?  What do you suggest? Comment below.

Are You Struggling to Have a Healthy Marriage? Do You Want to Change Your Spouse?

Get Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love on Amazon or any digital platform. This book is filled with humorous and impactful insights for anyone experiencing marriage conflict.

Included is biblical advice to help couples develop new behaviors and strengthen their marriage with healthy boundaries. With over 30 years of marriage experience, there are practical tips to overcome old patterns of behavior and rekindle a marriage relationship rooted in God’s love.

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Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you struggling with family issues that have resulted in a family rift or a family estrangement? Are you feeling a sense of shame, anger, or rejection?  Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.

In it, I share my own experience of a seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and how we eventually reconciled. Furthermore, I provide practical advice to help you navigate your family issues.

Don’t let the pain of estrangement hold you back. Allow God to assist you in healing, no matter what has happened within your family. Remember, there is always hope to be found, even when things seem to be falling apart.

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Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family so that you have more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule, too. You can get it at your favorite digital bookstore.

Join the group Christian Family Living on Facebook

Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the Christian Family Living group. This is a place for Christian women to freely talk about parenting, marriage, faith, family, and culture. Being a Christian is hard! Let’s do it together. Most of all, a sense of humor is required. Got memes? Bring it on!

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Author

Julie is a wife, mom, teacher, author, and blogger. She writes about Christian family living, marriage, parenting with a touch of humor.

5 Comments

  1. I needed a reminder of many of these things today! You’re spot on with these 15 keys! Some of them seem so small, but are so important to do diligently. They really do make a difference in the health of your marriage.

    • I agree! These 15 Biblical Keys To a Successful Marriage are powerful. I have to keep going back and reminding myself of them daily.
      Thanks for your comment.

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