Funny Mom Fails: 11 Clues You Are a Hot Mess Mom
Do you have a few funny mom fails? C’mon. Fess up. I know you’re out there.
I will admit there have been phases in my life that I fit this description. I don’t think I would have admitted it at the time, but looking back there were some moments.
Thank goodness there are no videos.
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Perhaps you have had a few funny mom fails that you won’t tell anyone. You know who you are! You are not alone. We all have hard days. So go hide in the bathroom and check out this list to see if you do some of these things.
11 Funny Mom Fails That Will Make You Laugh
It is the first thing that comes to my mind because I am the first thing that came to my children’s mind when they were sick. They always ran straight to me when they started heaving.
Not the toilet. Me. Every. Single. Time.
And guess who got covered in it? And by it, I mean yesterday’s lunch. Okay, so this wasn’t a funny mom fail at the time, but it was funny later.
2. Skipping showers.
Showers are overrated. I must admit, sometimes I have been too tired and waited until the next day to bathe. Swimming counts as a shower, right? Or a foot bath?
You just wash your feet in the sink. I think I can count that as biblical or something. Has anyone else ever used wet wipes for a shower? I have not only done that, but I have also wet wiped my children. I know, gross. It works though. What about you? Skipped a shower lately? You are on the list of funny mom fails.
3. The clothes.
There is no use wearing something cute during the day. It is a t-shirt and shorts or leggings. Perhaps even sweats. Whatever you wear, it is going to have food or a paint stain on it by noon.
My advice is to wear a cheap t-shirt. My husband’s favorite line when he came home was always, “What’s that on your shirt?” Most of the time I would just shrug my shoulders. Who knew?
Look at your shirt? Spots? Yep. You have funny mom fails too.
4. The hair.
I have long, wavy hair. It takes me a long time to curl or straighten it because my waves neither look ” beachy” nor “fresh.” It has a frizz factor of about 7 out of 10. My remedy is the hair clip. It hides all sorts of sins. It is my standard uniform. Did I mention dry shampoo? It’s awesome.
5. Always late.
I hate being late, but when you are trying to dress yourself, two kids, and get breakfast, it is inevitable. It was especially pronounced when going to church on Sunday morning.
They would sing, “Here we sit like birds in the wilderness, birds in the wilderness…” when I got into the car.
Are you always running late for one reason or another? I feel your pain.
6. The snacks.
I used to hide the “good” snacks because every time I wanted a piece of something sweet (chocolate), it was gone. When I did want to eat it, I had to carefully look around for wandering children in the kitchen. I didn’t want them to see my hiding place. Then I would go to my secret stash.
If the coast was clear, I would hide it under my shirt and run to my bedroom. After that, I would shut the door and lock it so they couldn’t get in.
Then I would, gleefully, eat it in peace. Unfortunately, the kids kept finding my hiding places. I would have to keep re-hiding it somewhere else. After a while, I couldn’t remember where I moved it.
It was hidden from myself. The joke was on me.
Have you ever seen a mom looking for her own hiding spot when she wants chocolate? I bet you know exactly what I am talking about. Watch this video. It explains how I feel about funny mom fails.
Christmas is the worst time for me. I am always last to find out the trends have changed. Our first year in a new city, we decided to host the Christmas party at our house.
I had it all planned out. I would wear my really cute Christmas sweater on the night of the party. As the guests arrived, I noticed no one else had their Christmas sweater on. I was the only one.
It wasn’t until a couple of weeks later I realized they were out of style. I heard a comedian on TV making fun of them. It only took 3 weeks for me to figure it out. Funny mom fails are embarrassing.
8. The keys and phone.
I can’t tell you how many hours I have wasted wandering around my house looking for the darn keys or cell phone. The keys were always lost in the morning right before school.
I would be running around the house hollering at everyone to look for them.
Most of the time the keys were already in the car or in some pocket in my purse. I swear to you, I am not blonde. Do you have some of the same funny mom fails as me?
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9. The Tooth Fairy
I don’t know what it is about the tooth fairy, but I could never seem to remember to put money under my kid’s pillow. They would wake up the next day totally devastated because there was no money left, and the tooth was still there.
After so many years of forgetting things, I have gotten pretty good at recovery.
I would tell my kids that they just missed it. We would look again together. Then I would run and grab a dollar (Or a five. Mom guilt.) and slip it under the pillow as I was looking. And take the tooth.
Lo and behold, the child would discover the money and all was well again. I had a hard time explaining why the tooth was gone, but whatever I said worked.
Now I realize they probably felt crazy. Sorry kids if you are reading this…
Have you ever forgotten tooth money? Oh boy. You are batting 1000.
Where do I even begin? I have been married for 25 years now. In those 25 years, I have done everything you could possibly do to a piece of meat other than what you are supposed to do to it.
I still can’t seem to make it taste like a restaurant or just good.
Both of my children have learned to quietly pick at their food during dinner or dig through the fridge for something else to eat at a later time.
Things changed when they got their license. At about 8 pm, they would mysteriously disappear for a burger run. I tried.
My kids probably aren’t laughing at these funny mom fails…
11. School Lunches
I really hated making school lunches. I was tired of it by the time my firstborn hit 5th grade. Both of my kids had to make their lunches some of the time. Is that bad?
What is even more irritating is that mom who brought up her child’s lunch every day from Chicken Express or some other fast food place. My kids would tell me in detail about what “Johnny” would get every day just to “mom guilt” me.
I did not fall for that trick.
They were stuck with their lunch unless it was their birthday. One day a year they had a hot lunch. I would like to meet “Johnny’s” mom sometime soon.
I just want to see if she is human. And ask her why in the heck she’s bringing her kid a fast-food lunch. Every. Single. Day.
Do you relate to these funny mom fails? If you answered yes to most of these things, you can join me in my pantry for a chocolate bar tonight.
For more laughter, check out these funny mom tweets.
What funny mom fails have you done lately?
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