I can’t tell you how many times I have thought, “Has God abandoned me?”
Perhaps you have felt the same way too. In fact, you have prayed for days, months, or even years for God to remove your situation only to find it worse than ever.
To put it bluntly, your life is hard. Really hard. And you don’t know when it is going to get any better.
Some of you may be dealing with a health crisis, a wayward child, a failing marriage, or a family situation you think will never be resolved.
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Others of you may be frustrated with a job issue, lack of money, death in the family, or you have even been booted out of your home.
Whatever the problem, God isn’t moving on your behalf and you are angry. Perhaps you’re even losing hope because He is silent in the midst of your darkest time.
Frankly, it feels like God has left you. And even deeper, He doesn’t love you.
When you are asking, “Has God abandoned me?” remember that many others in the Bible felt the same way as you. Here are some examples: Noah, Abraham, Moses, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Ruth, Samson, David, Jeremiah, Ezra, and Esther.
Even Jesus said on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46 NIV).
Just like you, each of these people (including Jesus) experienced a temporary feeling of abandonment that passed when the trial lifted.
The truth is you are loved. God is with you even when you are feeling forgotten. In fact, He will never leave you.
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Has God Abandoned Me? 5 Truths When You Feel God’s Silence
1. God is fully engaged in the details
In God’s infinite wisdom, He sees the whole picture and knows how each detail fits together perfectly to get just the right outcome at the right time.
He is crafting your story. Truthfully, you are connected to a bigger story that is beyond your imagination.
Be faithful to show up and do your part every day knowing that His providence is at work. God will tie all the loose ends together one day.
In time, every last detail will be resolved according to His will. Trust He is fully engaged in your details when thinking, “Has God abandoned me?”
Matthew 6:26 says, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
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2. God is sovereign
There is nothing in the universe that is outside of God’s influence or authority. He is not surprised by current events, your family situation, losses, or whatever. Everything passes through His hands first.
In fact, Satan has to ask God for permission to act. If you don’t believe me, check out the book of Job in the Bible.
Each trial is an opportunity to release your will over to the God of the universe and believe He can work on your behalf.
If He can set the planets in orbit, balance the galaxies, create the heavens and earth, breathe life into man and animals, create the oceans…He can manage your little world.
While your pain is real and you may even be frightened, God is bigger and stronger than whatever you are facing.
Remember God is sovereign when thinking, “Has God abandoned me?”
“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2).
RELATED: How to Trust God in Difficult Times: Understanding Why Bad Things Happen
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3. God’s timing is perfect
God existed before time. He has seen time from the beginning to the end–the entire spectrum. Our lives are only a small spec on the whole continuum.
Think of Lazurus. I’m sure Mary and Martha were thinking, “Has God abandoned me?” They couldn’t understand why Jesus didn’t intervene on his behalf.
Jesus could have healed him before he died. Instead, He waited four days after his death just to make sure everyone knew he was dead.
So dead that he stunk.
And then He healed him…
I’m sure everyone was like, “Really, Jesus, four days? Did you have to wait until he smelled?!”
Lazarus’ family suffered horribly so Jesus could display His glory. They didn’t understand the greater purpose.
Often we don’t understand God’s purpose or timing because of our finite minds. Trust there is a greater purpose to your pain just like Lazerus.
Remember God’s timing is perfect when thinking, “Has God abandoned me?”
Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
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4. God loves you
If there is anything I have learned in the last ten years, it is that God loves us. He never does anything outside of His love.
Oh, and in case you think He loves everyone else, let me assure you that He loves you too. Yes, you. You are included.
In fact, He has already shown His ultimate love by dying for your sins so you could live with him forever. Fortunately, it doesn’t stop there. There are other God winks around you if you will start looking differently at your problems
Personally, I have discovered the very character of God’s love through my trials.
He gave me free choice to reject Him. And then the space to feel the emptiness of that rejection. In fact, He lovingly allowed my choices to play out even when it hurt myself or others.
When I realized this, it didn’t take long for me to come running back to Him. I would rather bask in His loving will than out of it even if I don’t quite understand the circumstances at the time.
Remember God loves you when thinking, “Has God abandoned me?”
Lamentations 3:20-21 says, “I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.”
5. God is drawing you to Him
Our God is a God of relationship. He wants to be in fellowship with you all the time. Frankly, He will stop at nothing to get your attention.
Yeah, nothing.
Sadly, we don’t always see our trials this way. Instead, we run away and blame God for our refinement, or we are angry we didn’t get our way.
Truthfully, it may be you who has strayed from Him because of your sin.
God is inviting you to run into His arms as a child runs to his daddy. He is always ready and waiting for you. Repent where you have walked away from Him. Allow Him to reengage with you in a sweeter and more profound relationship than ever before.
What you need to realize is this kind of closeness only comes from complete brokenness. It is only in complete humility that we can truly approach Him.
Remember that God is drawing you to Him when thinking, “Has God abandoned me?”
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4).
Related: 5 Greatest Lessons You Can Learn From Suffering
What to Do When You Feel Like God Is Not Listening
You may feel like God has abandoned you or that God is not listening to you. However, I can assure you this is not true. God has a good plan for your life.
God calls us to obedience even when we can’t see the details or know the outcome. We must obey, trust, and keep going on until He gives us the next move.
I have found that fasting and prayer are great ways to get movement when I am stuck. Many times, God will reveal new things to me when I stop and really listen to Him.
Joel 2:12 says, “Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.”
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When God is Silent Through Difficult Times
God’s silence is intentional at times because… well, who knows! And while we don’t understand it, I can assure you that He is hidden behind all events.
Did you know the name of God is never mentioned in the book of Esther? Yet we clearly see divine intervention in the midst of the silence. And, boy, did God ever move when He was ready! (Haman hung, Ester lived, and all the Jews were saved.)
He knows your pain too. And He has not forgotten you.
When I feel God’s silence, I ask Him to help me with my doubt. In fact, I repeat pertinent scriptures on notecards that remind me of His love when I can’t hear Him at the moment.
I read them over and over until I get back on track and believe Him. Sometimes I say it out loud!
Just because God is silent, it doesn’t mean he has abandoned you. This is where many people get tripped up and lose their faith.
Before you give up, remember that God’s economy is different than the world’s system. He uses the tragedy, the crisis, and the suffering to get behavior change. And to show His glory.
When God is silent, He is simply asking you to trust Him until He gives you the next move.
RELATED: How to Stop Negative Self-Talk: 6 Tips to Break the Habit Today
Hebrews 13:5 says, “[Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee”(KJV).
Have you ever asked, “Has God abandoned me?” What biblical truths do you tell yourself? Comment below.
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Hi! Just wanted to say I loved your post! Recently, ive felt like God has completely abandoned me. I feel like every bad situation He has pulled me out of, only led to another more terrible situation. Ive suffered through numerous cases of abuse, all of which I was removed from, but I keep on ending up back in abusive situations. Im not an adult which means I cant do anything legally about my situation I can only pray and hope and try my hardest to believe it will get better but sometimes that truth is so hard to believe. I am praying for all of you and would really appreciate it if someone would pray for relief and guidance. 🙂
Oh my goodness, Maggie. I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine how difficult this situation must be for you. I am praying for you right now. I pray for God’s protection over you, that you will live in peace and get away from any and all abusive situations. I hope you will find a safe person and tell them what is going on. There are school counselors or teachers that can help you. Please report what is going on. I know this is a terrible cycle. I pray you find safety today.
God didnt save my marriage. He is strong enough to but didnt want something he wanted. I dont understand. so
I am so sorry about your marriage. I don’t understand all the ways God works, but I do know that He has given us free will. There are two people in a marriage. Both have to be willing to put aside their pride and change unhealthy behaviors. Marriage takes constant work, even for believers who know and follow Jesus. Many times, it means dying to self and putting the other person first. I pray that will examine your part of the equation even though you are divorced. Take ownership of your behaviors and leave your spouse to God. You only have control over yourself. No one else. It’s not too late to go back and make amends for your part. No blaming included.
Recently I’ve started to feel that God has completely abandoned me. I was raised Catholic and drifted away from church after graduating from high school. I very nearly lost my life on two occasions during the first two decades of the 2000’s. After the second one I found strength by returning to a religious life. But it seems as if nothing comes my way anymore. Since returning to a religious life I’ve lost my wife, and developed a medical condition which dominates virtually every aspect of my life. Reading the Bible and going to church are nearly impossible since I’m unable to remain seated for more than a few minutes at a time. I find myself wondering what my purpose is, and why did God allow me to survive on two occasions (and a number of other close calls), only spending most days counting the hours until I can go to bed.
I am so sorry you are hurting. I have felt just as you many times in my faith walk. As I look back, I see how He was quietly navigating me through my worst times. Somehow His love came through when I was lost. I pray you will ask Him to show you His love. And ask Him to do a miracle in your life.
I cried out to the lord to help me save my house i found out that i lost it im out of work don’t know what im gonna do I’ve repented i confessed my sins and asked for forgiveness and humbled myself before him and he’s abandoned me. I’ve sacrificed for others put god and people befote me i feel like job and Joseph suffering for god amusements i wish i were never born
I hear you. I have felt like this at times. All I can say is that He loves you, and He is waiting for you to run to Him. He cares. I pray you will find Him in your difficult time of need.
Hi. Great article! Yes, I think we have all probably asked or wondered if God has abandoned us. I know I have felt it! Reading scripture and fellowship with other Christians have helped. I don’t know if I can think of a specific verse. I think God brings me to verses that I need at the time.
Jodi, I think most of us have gone through a time in the “desert.” I have multiple times. And each time I have to choose what I know instead of what I feel or see in the natural. What I see in the natural isn’t what is going on behind the scenes. God is always working, and He knows our deepest pains and hurts. The Bible says that he will never leave us, so I go on that truth when all else fails. Thanks for your comment.
1/3/2020 I lost my only child. He was suffering from PTSD. Two years tomorrow and I am such a mess. My grief is overwhelming and at times I just want God to take me. I ask him to I am so miserable here. I didn’t work for a year and then I took a new job too close to the holidays. I don’t do well during the holidays. They are so painful. Anyway I had a hard time with focusing and they knew it and fired me the week before Christmas then the day after Christmas I got COVID. I am still recovering from it and I feel tired. I can’t take anymore disappointments right now. God has to help me somehow it is an emergency after two years of waiting for answers. Something good has to happen in my life I have prayed too hard.
Oh, Pamela. My heart hurts so much for you. I don’t think there is anything worse than losing a child. I am so very sorry. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. The only thing I can tell you is that God has a good plan for your life. He loves you more than you can ever understand. I can tell you from experience that the worst things that have happened to me have been turned into compost and used to grow something later. And rejection many times turns into redirection. I pray you are well now and that you find an even better job than what you had. If you can meet with a pastor, counselor, or wise friend to help you work through your loss, that would be great. Some things are so painful that we weren’t meant to walk alone. We need help to make sense of it. And of God. You are precious, loved, and important. Don’t lose hope or give up. Keep getting up each day, and one day it will be better.
Pamela, I will be adding you to my prayer list. I can’t imagine losing an only child; I lost my oldest son in March 2020 so I have some inkling of your pain, loss, feelings and emotions. I truly believe the loss of a child is the hardest loss God can ever put us through no matter the circumstances of our child’s passing. I feel I can relate and understand a portion of your pain.
I also left my full-time job after Michael died. If only we could understand God’s plan! I returned to a full-time position about 19 months after Michael passed; it’s not a healthy place to work but I’m hopeful I will find another position.
Again, my heartful sympathy to you. I hope now five months later from your posting God is positively working in your life and you regularly receive signs from your child that he/she is safe with God. I admit I pray that my son is okay and safe with God.
To say that misery draws us closer to God is nonsense. I have never felt further away. Ever.
Dennis, I hear you. There have been times in my life that I was so angry at God that I shook my fist at him. I couldn’t feel Him, nor did I think He existed. Quietly, I heard Him telling me that he loved me and had a plan for my life. Looking back, I can see His hand now that I am out of that trial. What he was doing was rearranging things in my life. Most of all, he was teaching me to trust him even when things seemed hopeless. I have found that God works in the waiting. He uses the worst situations to draw us to him. I pray you will see His love for you in ways you can’t even imagine. You are not abandoned, nor are you alone. Run to him, now away. You will find him if you cry out to him.
I asked him for one thing for two and a half years consistently and he didn’t deliver. I said oh maybe it’s for a better reason cause he knows best, he brought me into a new environment and I asked for one thing from him for 1 year, but he disappoint me again. Tell me how is that fair to me? I personally choose him not only because he asked us to, I choose him because it’s also the right thing to do. I’m not a saint but there are people who are worst than me but they’re happy and have it all, I ask for one thing and he has abandoned me. I’ve prayed but it’s like I’m being punished. Im not the first to sin, but the fact that I accept my sins and I’m ready for penance is what matters. He allowed my mom get bullied to a point she had to resign, I know she’s doing something but it’s not what she slaved in university, vocational training, and in exile for. I want to make her happy and give her the world but it’s like my God that I boast of has decided to watch me drown. Honestly your points are great but at this point I don’t have any options and don’t know what to think or believe anymore. At this point it’s safe to say let him just come for me and carry me, at least the suffering and pains will be gone and I’ll know that I was brought into this world, got abandoned and I’ve left to find peace from God and this world.
Alecia, I hear your anger and frustration at God. I know it feels like He should give you what you want, but that is not how He works. If that were the case, He would be nothing more than a bellhop or a candy machine that we control. If we could control Him, that would make us more powerful than Him. He is the almighty, Living God who we serve, not the other way around. And sometimes that means not getting what we want. Where the rubber meets the road is when we can say, “I trust you God with this thing even if I don’t understand or like it. I still trust that you are good and You love both me and my mom more than I can possibly imagine.” You bring up that you feel like you are drowning. That is what it looked like when the Israelites were at the Red Sea. They thought the same thing. That is when God parted it and drowned the enemy. Your story is not over. He is not done working. I suggest both praying and fasting when there is no breakthrough in sight. That is when I usually see something move. You are loved by God. He has not left you by a long shot. I will pray for Him to give you something even better by your waiting and trusting.
This is exactly how I feel. God has let my two grown children drown. He has blocked them from every possible success, even the smallest things. I have prayed all day every day for 2 years. Nothing. silence. I no longer have the desire to pray. How can I? When God has abandoned us.
I’m so sorry for all of your hurt. I can not answer why God allows bad things to happen, but I do know that He is good despite evil. Sin entered the world when Adam and Eve sinned due to free will. God gives us the same choice just like Adam and Eve. We don’t have to choose Him. I will say that some of the hard things that happen to us are due to our own sinful choices. We have no one to blame but ourselves. Simply put, we pay the consequences for things He clearly says not to do. Other times, bad things happen because we were born into it, an innocent bystander, a victim in a crime, etc. These are hard to explain. I can’t. What I can say is that even the bad things that have happened (I’ve had a lot of hard things happen) to me have eventually brought me closer to God because I have given my life to Him. Many times, I don’t get what I pray for because God knows there is a better way. The Bible says that we see dimly. We do not know or understand His ways. I would rather pray and ask for God to intervene than not pray at all. I have no hope without Christ. By the way, I still have praters not answered because of free will. God doesn’t control people. I give that to God too. I pray you will trust God with your kids. Ask Him to change their hearts where they are not following Him. God’s ways are best even when we don’t understand.
I know God speaks through his word but I never hear him have a normal conversation like hello Joe I want you to do this or that for me today
Friends to friends we can differentiate their different voices
I dont hear any voice but my own thoughts when ranking to God
Joe, I can’t say I have ever heard an audible voice either. But I do hear Him in his word, in song, in prayers, and in just meditating on Him Many times, I will have a quickening in my heart that is a soft kind of knowing. The more time you spend with Him, the easier it is to hear his voice. Kind of like sheep. They know the shepherd’s voice because they are with him all day, every day. Thanks for your comment.
I agree I feel the same
Thank you for this post I have been dealing with anxiety and depression just recently found out I’m pregnant (was planned) but can’t enjoy it without this sadness that covers me. I pray and pray and felt like God abandoned me and doesn’t listen because all I hear is silence.
Dulce, I am so sorry you are dealing with anxiety and depression. I totally get it. It is hard to trust God when it seems bleak right now. Looking back, I have found that the hardest times in my life, when I feel God has abandoned me, that He is actually rearranging my life to make it better long term. It is so painful at the time and definitely hard to trust Him when all seems hopeless. Yet, when I run to Him, He makes a way when there seems no way. Keep running to him. He is there in the silence, quietly holding your hand.
Thank you so much for writing this post. I am struggling so much with things and I feel so alone. I don’t have anyone I can talk to. I’m so alone.
Rhonda, I am so sorry you feel alone. I think most everyone has dealt with some type of loneliness in their lives. It has been especially hard with Covid. I have found that worship music helps with the pain. When I take my eyes off of me and put them on Jesus, my mindset changes. Also, praying for someone to be a friend is good. Reaching out to someone else first is even better. Most of all, you are not alone. God is with you every step of the way. He loves you so much.
Hang in there Rhonda. I feel the same way.
You can’t imagine my relief when I came across your article Tonight. I never thought I’d be the one who needed encouragement. After all I was raised by missionaries. But In 2020 my husband lost his job at a Ford dealer due to Covid.I was pregnant with our now 1 year old son, when we got behind in rent, late by 10 days. Regardless of having lived there for 2 years and never ever having been late before(we have all receipt proof), The owner via the rental agency, refused to allow us to pay it late. The rental agency was perfectly fine working with us and tried to get the owner who lives in New Jersey, to let us pay late. But he said no. We were later told by our former neighbor that he moved his daughter in because she had fell on hard times. It made more sense to find this out because We loved that place and treated it as if it were our own. The whole situation was heartbreaking and traumatic to have to leave, especially for our daughter.
Since the end of 2020, We have been living with our 5 year old daughter Isabella and 1 year old son Clarke in a hotel room in Hickory, NC for nearly a year, paying $2200.00 a month. During this time my husband was hired by Ameri Fleet in a position with great pay and benefits but No one is renting due to the eviction bans. We are working on our credit score which is shy a few points to qualify for a Veteran home loan. (Husband is former Army)
My son is on the verge of walking and there is no way to baby proof this room. Every day I run the roads with the kids until their bath time, going from one park-‘kid oriented place’ to another so they aren’t cooped up in this depressing place. As their mother I feel utterly helpless. As December gets closer and closer I am heartbroken that they will have to experience another Christmas in this place.
Just the mental aspect of this situation and what it has done to my daughter is something I will never get over or forget or forgive myself for. She has an appointment for a psychiatrist this year because of the mental and emotional damage and the overall change in her personality since this happened.
the idea of having my kids in a hotel for a second Christmas wakes me up at night, knowing my daughter is a year from starting school without stability has me awake all night…knowing my son will learn to walk in a hotel room has me awake all night…the fact that both my kids haven’t woken to sunlight pouring through a window in nearly a year…that I cannot cook them a homemade meal…these are just a few things that constantly go through my thoughts…
I feel so utterly hopeless and helpless right now. I just want my kids to have a home.
My husband is a 70% disabled Army veteran who suffers from depression but every day he gets up and goes to work regardless of the struggle I see in his mental health.
I have felt so isolated in this situation and abandoned by God. Thank you for the reminder that He has the final say. Bless you!!! Heidi
Heidi
Your a good woman and good support for your husband. DONOT give up on him or your kids or yourself. He must trust in you and lean on you so he can deal with work. Your his blessing remember that. Your the artery for the family. You sound like an amazing person.
Your problems you face feel large but your a soft person that’s allowing trivial problems in with Satan’s attacks. Your all warm, cloth, safe and together. That’s alot right there. DONT give up just before the miracle. Your amazing mom amd amazing wife. Keep your faith, be close to those kids with love and treasure your husband’s weakness. Be the lamp of the home. Your going to win this battle only if you stand the test of time. We all face our trials , as God tries to allow perseverance. He wants to bless us and show us mercy. So trust in God and don’t let him down or hurt God’s heart. Show God you mean business and your his warrier. Show God your love by faith. Remove all plaque in your heart and soul. Pray pray pray for God’s grace and in turn Show him your love. He longs to bless you each night as he looks over the world. Stand out and just believe; how simple your relationship to christ is ment to be. Just believe.
Take care.
I feel so terrible. I have lost all my friends for different reasons. I have never felt more alone in my life. To have people in one’s life, and yet feel so alone, how does that happen? I’ve lost my faith. I’ve yelled at God. I’ve repproached him. I’ve blamed him for things that are my fault, but where I feel he’s let me to fall of the abyss.
I don’t pray. I don’t want to. I don’t know what it is anymore. Is it praise or grievances? Is it talking to a friend, or demanding things?
I’ve been dealing with a health issue that has plagued me for three years. No clear diagnosis, just more questions and the dread of pain. I’ve ask for healing, I get meds and no answer.
I feel like I’m failong and flailong under the weight of my own idiocy, laziness, apathy, and overall looserness.
I feel alone, and it hurts.
Wren, I know exactly how you feel. I have been in this situation more than once. I too have had horrible health issues with no answers. The doctors just gave more medicine, and it didn’t really work. You don’t get to the root of the issue with meds. It’s a bandaid. A stop-gap until you can figure out what is wrong.
I got online and started researching my illness and alternative methods. I found a specific diet for my illness, different vitamins, and slowly started to exercise. I also worked on forgiving those who hurt me. I harbored an enormous amount of anger toward family, God, and myself. Over time, I started to heal.
As far as God, there were a few periods along the way that I hated God; He could handle it. I shook my fist at Him and even decided He didn’t exist. I eventually came back to Him in humility and found His plan for my life was better than what I could do.
God doesn’t force us to come to Him. We must decide we are so broken that what we are doing doesn’t work. It is only when we are shattered to dust that the Potter can add His living water to us and make clay. From there we become malleable for the Potter.
I have found suffering to be the worst thing and the best thing. It is the opportunity for us to realize that we are nothing without God. What we are doing isn’t working.
I implore you to pray and ask God for wisdom for your circumstances. He will guide you one step at a time down the right path to healing. It may mean a lot of changes in the way you are doing things. Self-control in what you eat, how you are managing your body, what you are thinking, what you are reading and listening to on a daily basis, and addressing habits that are not healthy. Addictions, self-pity, unforgiveness, self-hatred, and lies that you believe about yourself.
This is the journey I took and am still taking. And it is working. I have experienced a lot of healing. And continue to as the days go by. Be willing to let God work in your life and change your behavior.
I am praying for you now.
This isn’t probably what you want to hear, but it is true. God can change your circumstances if you bow down to Him and submit to what His plan is for your life. He has a good plan, and He is good.
The ball is now in your court.
My heart is with you and I am rooting for you.
Heidi, were you able to find a home to rent in Hickory? I hope you are OK and your family is doing much better.
We are also in NC.
I was feeling like God has abandoned me when I came across your post. Had a health issue & shattered finances. I realized that all I need is His mercies and graces to take me through those challenges. He is the God who is true to His word.
Lucy, I am so sorry about all of your trials. I know this is a very difficult time for you. Sometimes it is a day-by-day, minute-by-minute choice to trust God when it looks bad. I have found that sometimes God closes one door, and it turns out to be a good thing in the end. It is not easy to allow him to prune and cut things out of our lives. But overall, I am glad he does it even though it hurts. I pray He provides for you in ways you never imagine.
I feel abandoned, life has been horrible ever since i had my kids . Always struggling always messing up . I am
Destroyed and still nothing . I lost my job couldn’t get unemployment . At least i was able to do doordash but my axle cracked today ! Hurricane tomorrow i just cant im sitting in my car crying my eyes out . My daughter has been stealing and she is only 12 the devil is also attacking my son . I cannot take anymore
Elle, I am so sorry for everything you are going through. I am praying for you right now. I don’t know what God is doing in your life, but I know that He loves you deeply and He cares for you. Running to Him is the best thing you can do. He hears our cries and provides others to help us along the way if we ask.
If you can find a church nearby that can help, I bet they would. There are people who want to help you get back on your feet. Possibly family can help? I am praying for God to provide for you and to bring godly people into your kid’s lives.
The best thing you can do is set a good example for your kids. Be that godly person and pray for them daily. Set healthy boundaries with them. Saying “no” is not a bad thing. And giving consequences for bad behavior.
My heart breaks for you and I pray for you to find the help you need.
I am broken. I am alone. I have spent most of my life helping others, loving others yet no one every looks out for me. I’m now unemployed, heartbtoken and near hopelessness. I have been drawing near God. Praying and repenting and seeking to have a deeper relationship with him. I can’t hear him. I’m so lost. Does he really love me? I believe he does but it sure doesn’t feel like it.
FJ, yes, God absolutely loves you. When we go through times of suffering it feels like God has abandoned us. I so understand this, more than you know. The silence is horrible and Satan keeps telling you that God doesn’t love you or even care what happens to you. That is a lie from the deciever. Satan is the accuser. The only thing I know to do when things look horrible is to go back to God’s word and believe what He says. We are loved, He has a good plan, we can trust Him in the darkness, we are not alone, count it all joy when trials hit us, God is never going to leave or forsake us, my God is mighty, He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I encourage you to stand on the truth even when what you see looks horrible.
Many times I have trusted my feelings, and they are fickle. In times of trial, we must choose to believe even when we can’t see. Choose logically to believe Him and push those fearful feelings down. Give them to God. Cry out to HIm. Fast, pray, and seek Him. Beg Him for answers. Continue in prayer day and night in your heart to talk to God and tell Him you trust Him. In fact, you can say, “I trust you God” all day long. Pray for a breakthrough. God hears our cries and He answers.
I am praying for you now.
Good morning Julie. As I sit here and read all these posts, it is heartbreaking. I sure appreciate you taking time to respond to the very difficult issues that people are going through… some of which are really intense. You definitely have the gift of encouragement. I guess the thing that stands out the most to me, as I read these, is- that there is a tangible silence and feeling of abandonment, or sense of being deserted by God, to all these people. I too am experiencing the same thing, and have been for quite some time. It really breaks my heart, just as t does all of those on this thread. I was raised by the Kindest, and Most loving Mom I have ever seen… or known. Really, she expended herself for me, my siblings, and even strangers, that she didn’t even know. She’s gone now- and so is a major part of my heart. I consider myself to be a believer. When I read the Bible, it makes perfect sense to me. I see my own sin, just as clearly as I see it in others… God says we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God- His perfection. We all need His forgiveness, and of that truth, I am well aware- and continue to need it and ask Him for it. I guess, the problem lies in this….. If God has all Power- and I firmly believe He does, and He sees the various situations that are very real… Very Real., and doesn’t do anything about our situation- and in some cases, it sounds like for a long time- there’s a dis-connect in our understanding and processing how that can be. I know that if I saw someone I loved, as deeply as you, and many others say over and over again, and I had it in my power to do something about their struggle to help, but I did Nothing- for an extended period of time, then how can I honestly say that I Love them so dearly…. You would probably call my Love into question… I know that we don’t get everything we want—- for sure. But I really struggle when I see the same thing, run through So Many peoples lives- including my own. If my child, was in the pool, drowning, and I can swim pretty well… and he or she is calling out to me to help him or her… and I just stood on the side of the pool, and told them how much I love them, but didn’t act to help… I just cant make sense of that kind of love. No matter how I try to reason it through, I cant come up with a conclusion that that’s really love. Im sorry, I wish I could- I want to- but it’s super tough to get there, for me at least. As I look at the Gospel, it absolutely shouts Love- fir sure. He met us at our greatest need, forgiveness. And rest assured- I know I need Him & His forgiveness. And have asked Him for it on multiple occasions… I guess I question my own salvation, because of this topic… I cry out to Him, as many others do- He seems to do nothing, and so how can I know He has forgiven me at my greatest need, when all we are asking for now, is either a friend, a new job, some help in some way, career direction, or victory over some substance or whatever the case may be? Those are all secondary to our forgiveness, in my humble opinion. Why would He go through the cross, and endure the wrath of God for us, and not meet us on the lesser? I cant make sense of it… it doesn’t line up with the Character of God that we see in Scripture… Please forgive my long response- but I, along with many others are truly seeking to understand.
Frank, first of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. Death is one of the hardest things to wrap our minds around when it comes to God. I can hear your pain through your writing, and I feel your heart as you wonder where God was when she left this world. Why didn’t he save her? That’s the 60 million dollar question that is hard to answer. And I would be trite to give you some one-line platitudes that would help you see God’s perspective. I truly don’t know God’s perspective other than what He has done for us already on the cross, and what He says in the Bible.
That’s the whole thing about choosing to be a Christian. It’s all on faith. Faith that God is good when it looks bad, faith that He loves us despite when you can’t feel His love at all, and faith to trust that God has a bigger and better plan that we don’t see. I know your loss is great at the moment, but if she is a believer you will be with her eternally someday. That is a comforting thought. As for this life, what next? You have choices. You can choose to grieve the loss and trust God in your pain or choose to be bitter and run from God. I have done both. And I can assure you that running from God is dark. And it is lonely, empty, and hopeless. Running to him has been my greatest comfort when grieving a loss because I know He hurts with me. I pray that you will ask God to show you His love. Maybe in small ways that only you know would be His fingerprints. I believe this will help you to know that He has not left you, and that He loves you completely and wholely.
God helps those he wants to help and doesn’t help or even acknowledge others – kind of like the playground in school, not everyone is a cool kid. It’s really not just or merciful or righteous. It doesn’t matter how many years you pray or live life completely miserable doing all the right things, God only helps some people. And those people like to share with others God won’t abandon how to live and how to trust and how to keep believing, but he does, it’s ok, you’re not alone. The ones that God answers are the ones that feel compelled to write these types of articles. I too once was upbeat and positive and trusting for over 25 years I prayed and begged and pleaded for a family. I ended up still alone, sick, and more miserable by the day. Wherever God is – it isn’t here. False hope is what posts like this promote. God doesn’t help everyone. He doesn’t even answer. For some it never gets better. It’s kind of a joke. That’s point of view should also be acknowledged so people should realize it doesn’t happen for everyone. Don’t feel bad if you’ve spent your life praying and begging and God doesn’t show up. You haven’t done anything to deserve it. It’s just how life is for some people.
Anna, first of all, I am so sorry. I can hear the incredible hurt in your words. I can so relate to you. I once felt this way too. There is no way around it. Life is hard and many times cruel. It is easy to blame God. I get it all too well.
Maybe you don’t know my story. I prayed and begged God to change my family situation and my health. There was a time when I was estranged from my family for 7 years, and I suffered from Crohn’s disease. In fact, they were going to take my colon out and replace it with a bag. It was an irreversible procedure.
I felt God had abandoned me, and that Christianity only worked for some people. I just wasn’t one of them. I felt worthless, unloved, and forgotten. Yes, I cried out to God, like you, but didn’t hear or feel any change for a long while.
I got into counseling and realized I could only change myself, not those around me. I was stuck in my own self-pity. In order to get out, I had to change my thinking, set boundaries, and embrace the one thing that I refused to believe–God’s love.
I had acted unloved by living in unforgiveness and staying bitter. While I had been dealt a difficult hand, I realized the only way out was to forgive. (And there was a lot to forgive.) My counselor, who had been at Minrith Meyer for over 25 years, said my family dysfunction was the top 3 worst he had dealt with. I understand pain physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I am now living in forgiveness and setting strong boundaries with those around me. Instead of wallowing in the self-pity that I so loved, I wallow in God’s grace and lavish love. And realize that I am just as broken as those I once hated.
You are loved. But you have to accept it. And then live in it. It’s a mind shift. I would suggest you read Uninvited by Lisa TerKeurst. Or read my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart. I give steps to help you change the narrative in your life. With God’s help, you can embrace the truth. But it takes time.
I am praying right now that you will stop fighting God. Lay down your anger, bitterness, and hatred toward Him as I did. Run to Him like a little child. Ask him to show you how to live in His love. Your circumstances around you may not change, but you will. And that will make those around you have to adjust to your new behavior.
If you are waiting for everyone else to change, you will never get healed. It starts with you. Start today. And ask God to show you His love.
I’m about to give up. I lost my job in 2019 because I was worn down and suffered from anxiety. Finally got a new one at the start of 2020 and then… I’ve been going through it with unemployment. They owe me almost $14K and I haven’t been paid since September. I decided today to take out the remainder of my 401K (I had to take the rest of it) that I was trying to save as a last, last resort. My lease is up on my apartment and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford it. I’ve been looking for a job since I got laid off in October after being on furlough in March.
I have been singing at church two Sundays a month with a praise team since March last year. I sing at every funeral since I have the time. I serve. I read devotionals in the morning and night to hear from God. I started a prayer journal to get focused. And still nothing. No help. No word. No sign. Nothing. What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t God there? Why won’t he help?
Tonya, first of all, I am so sorry. I can’t begin to say I understand what is going on. All I can say is that when we are in times of crisis, we need to look back at God’s character. He is good and loves you so much. Personally, I can look back on all the hard times in my life and see what God was doing when I was out of the storm. For instance, my college-age daughter had a horrific head injury in 2019. She had to quit college and come home. It was so bad she couldn’t move without triggering a migraine. I was so angry at God. I had no idea what he was doing at the time. Now I see what he was doing 2 years out. She needed to come home, change schools and majors, and do some things differently. It was so awful but God used it for good. Whatever you are going through, God will use for good. Sometimes we are being moved into a different thing, and we just have to do it whether we understand or not. And trust God when all seems lost. I pray God shows you what to do when it is time to do it. He is faithful if you will trust Him even when it doesn’t make sense.
Why does God ignore me when I ask for help? I’m so lost and afraid but God seems to keep throwing obstacles at me that I can no longer deal with.
I feel the same…
Hi Lucy. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Oh, that this life was easy, but it is not. I can understand how you feel. There are many times that I have looked up at the ceiling and shook my fist at God. I felt He was distant, mean, and hated me. My life was a mess.
I cried out to Him for help and felt nothing back. It wasn’t until I got into counseling and realize how much hatred, unforgiveness, and bitterness I had in my heart that it clouded the truth. I lived in a self-sabotaging narrative that punished no one but me.
The answers I wanted didn’t match up to what God was saying: pray for those who hurt me, set boundaries, forgive, release my hurts, don’t wallow, spend time with HIm every day, work on myself, change me–not others, quit controlling others, and most of all, accept His love.
Everything God said went against what the world and my flesh said to do. It didn’t make sense. His economy was upside down to the world. It’s counterintuitive.
Since everything I was doing didn’t work, I gave His way a try. And I am now living in a much better place. My colon is healed, I have a relationship with my family that includes boundaries, and I live loved.
Did I change the people around me. Well, yes and no. When I changed, it forced them to change. When they act badly, I set boundaries. I step back, and I forgive. If I accidentally put myself in a bad situation, I forgive myself. I step back and pray. I ask God to help me stay healthy.
Sometimes a relationship is so toxic that you have to step back. Don’t be afraid to do that until you get healing and learn how to set boundaries. I pray that God will be with you. Keep seeking Him. He will answer you. But you have to be willing to hear what He has to say, even if you don’t like it.
Thank you for this post!
This is such a great post Julie! I love that you mentioned that God is balancing the galaxies. Such a great perspective! I can trust Him with my life for sure ????
Tinashe, I look at the stars quite often to remind myself of how big He is and how little I am. Creation screams His name, and we can hear it off we listen closely. Yes, you can trust Hom with your life. He is good.
God will never leave us or forsake us! I know this to be true, but sometimes I definitely feel like I’m bearing the burden alone. Thank you for these reminders! They’re such a comfort!
I am so sorry you are feeling alone in your journey. I think this is a common feeling for many people right now. Rest on God’s wisdom to help you as navigate through your difficult time. God has not left you, not for a second.
This was on my heart this week. God is good; God is here. Thank you for sharing this.
Sarah, yes God is truly here no matter what people are doing or saying right now. He has not forsaken you. He will help you through the fiercest storms. I pray you will remember these truths when you feel God has left you.
Thank you for this reminder. It’s hard to remember his timing is perfect when times are tough
Sometimes when things go wrong it’s hard to keep faith but the universe works in mysterious ways.
Thanks for the reminder. It’s easy to get so caught up in the day to day that I forget God is engaged in my dayd to day. I have to keep my focus on Him so that I can keep my steps in Him.
Thank you for the reminder. 8 years of unfair suffering for my family. They had strong Christian faiths, but it has been shattered over and over by a powerful person. I can see how the pieces might be recovered and made into a new mosaic that brings hope and beauty while not trying to cover up the broken pieces. I hope that my family will be able to do that someday. It all rings rather hollow right now.
I am so sorry your family has suffered unfairly. God knows and hears your prayers. Thanks for your comment.