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has God abandoned me

Has God Abandoned Me? 5 Truths When You Feel Lost and Alone

I can’t tell you how many times I have thought, “Has God abandoned me?” Perhaps you have felt the same way too. In fact, you have prayed for days, months, or even years for God to remove your situation only to find it worse than ever. 

To put it bluntly, your life is hard. Really hard.

And you don’t know when it is going to get any better.

Some of you may be dealing with a health crisis, a wayward child, a failing marriage, or a family situation you think will never be resolved.

Others, a job issue, or lack of money.

Related: 5 Greatest Lessons You Can Learn From Suffering

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God has left

Whatever the problem, God isn’t moving on your behalf and you are angry. Perhaps even losing hope and feel like God has left you.

Before you give up, remember this truth: God uses the tragedy, the crisis, and the suffering to draw us to Him.

Unfortunately, many times we must feel pain–combined with the test of time–to reflect His image and grow spiritually.

When you are asking, “Has God abandoned me?” remember that many others in the Bible felt the same way as you. Here are some examples: Noah, Abraham, Moses, Isaac, Joseph, Ruth, Samson, David, Jeremiah, Ezra, and Esther.

Did you know that the name of God is never mentioned in the book of Esther? Yet we clearly see divine intervention in the midst of the silence.

Even Jesus said on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

Just like you, each of these people (including Jesus) experienced a temporary feeling of abandonment that passed when the trial lifted.

The truth is you are loved. God is with you even when you are feeling forgotten. In fact, here is what you do when you feel God has abandoned you.

Believe.

Have faith in these five truths no matter what.

RELATED: How to Not Lose Faith: 7 People Who Were One Hot Mess

5 Awesome Truths When Feeling Abandoned By God

If you are questioning God and silently asking, “Has God abandoned me?” then this is for you. These tips will help you trust God even when it feels like everything is out of control. I can assure you that God is engaged in your life, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

1. God is fully engaged in the details

In God’s infinite wisdom, He sees the whole picture and knows how each detail fits together perfectly to get just the right outcome at the right time.

He is crafting your story. Truthfully, you are connected to a bigger story that is beyond your imagination.

Be faithful to show up and do your part every day knowing that His providence is at work. God will tie all the loose ends together one day.

In time, every last detail will be resolved according to His will. Until then, get up each day and live it to the best of your ability.

Trust He is in control even when you think God has left you.

Related: How to Quickly Overcome a Failure or Loss

2. God is sovereign

God is in control.

There is nothing in the universe that is outside of His influence or authority. Everything passes through His hands first.

In fact, Satan has to ask God for permission to act. If you don’t believe me, check out the book of Job in the Bible.

While you may believe God has left you, He is, in fact, managing your trials every minute of every day. Furthermore, He said we would have trouble in this life so we should expect it. Bummer. 

Each trial is an opportunity to release your will over to the God of the universe and believe He can work on your behalf.

If He can set the planets in orbit, balance the galaxies, create the heavens and earth, breathe life into a man and animals, create the oceans…He can manage your little world.

Remember this when you think, “Has God abandoned me?”

Related: The Fruit of Discipline: How to Get Through the Hard Times

3. God’s timing is perfect

God existed before time. He has seen time from the beginning to the end–the entire spectrum. Our lives are only a small spec on the whole continuum.

Think of Lazurus. I’m sure Mary and Martha were thinking, “Has God abandoned me?” They couldn’t understand why Jesus didn’t intervene on his behalf.

Jesus could have healed him before he died, but he waited four days after his death just to make sure everyone knew he was dead.

So dead that he stunk.

And then He healed him…

I’m sure everyone was like, “Really, Jesus, four days? Did you have to wait until he smelled?!”

Lazarus’ family suffered horribly so Jesus could display His glory. They didn’t understand the greater purpose.

Often we don’t understand God’s timing with our finite minds, yet we must trust the overall plan because it is perfect. There is a greater purpose to our pain just like Lazerus. Remember this when you are thinking, “Has God abandoned me?”

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4.  God loves you

If there is anything I have learned in the last ten years, it is that God loves us.

Specifically, He loves you. Yes, you. You are included. 

In fact, He has already shown His ultimate love on the cross by dying for your sins so you could live with him forever.  Fortunately, it doesn’t stop there. There are other God winks around you if you will start looking differently at your problems.

Look at your situation through His lense of utter, lavish love toward you. In fact, you can ask Him to show you His love in small ways throughout your day.

You will be amazed how He shows up through other people, favor in situations, and tender mercies of grace that were otherwise unexpected or undeserved. You just have to start seeing with different eyes.

In fact, He loves you too much to leave you for even one second.

Related: Positive Self-Talk: Powerful Ways to Use Scripture

5. God is drawing you to Him

Our God is a God of relationship. He wants to be in fellowship with you all the time. Frankly, He will stop at nothing to get your attention.

Yeah, nothing. I know firsthand. 

Sadly, we don’t always see our trials this way. Instead, we run away because we blame Him for our refinement or angry we didn’t get our way. 

When you are asking, “Has God abandoned me,” remember that he is always here. It may be you have strayed from Him.

Truthfully, God is inviting you to run into His arms as a child runs to his daddy. He is drawing you to a sweeter and a more profound relationship than you can ever imagine if you will allow it.

What you need to realize is this kind of closeness only comes from complete brokenness. It is only in complete humility that we can truly approach Him.

Related: 5 Greatest Lessons You Can Learn From Suffering

What to Do When You Feel Like God Is Not There

You may feel like God has abandoned you, but I can assure you that it is not true. God has a plan for each person’s life. He is right beside you as you read this post.

God calls us to obedience even when we can’t see the details or know the outcome. Furthermore, He is working through the details (probably slowly) so that one day you will reflect Him.

God’s silence is intentional at times. And while we don’t understand it,  He is hidden behind all events just like in the book of Esther where His name is never mentioned. But, oh, did he move. 

He knows your pain too. And He loves you. He will never abandon you no matter what it feels like at the time.

Hebrews 13:5 – [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Have you ever asked, “Has God abandoned me?” What did you do to feel better? Comment below.

 

Do You Have Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you experiencing family problems or even estranged? Are you feeling shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store. 

This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family, but it also gives solid tips to help you with your family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.

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Creating Family Memories Book

Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids.  It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite bookstore.

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29 thoughts on “Has God Abandoned Me? 5 Truths When You Feel Lost and Alone”

  1. You can’t imagine my relief when I came across your article Tonight. I never thought I’d be the one who needed encouragement. After all I was raised by missionaries. But In 2020 my husband lost his job at a Ford dealer due to Covid.I was pregnant with our now 1 year old son, when we got behind in rent, late by 10 days. Regardless of having lived there for 2 years and never ever having been late before(we have all receipt proof), The owner via the rental agency, refused to allow us to pay it late. The rental agency was perfectly fine working with us and tried to get the owner who lives in New Jersey, to let us pay late. But he said no. We were later told by our former neighbor that he moved his daughter in because she had fell on hard times. It made more sense to find this out because We loved that place and treated it as if it were our own. The whole situation was heartbreaking and traumatic to have to leave, especially for our daughter.

    Since the end of 2020, We have been living with our 5 year old daughter Isabella and 1 year old son Clarke in a hotel room in Hickory, NC for nearly a year, paying $2200.00 a month. During this time my husband was hired by Ameri Fleet in a position with great pay and benefits but No one is renting due to the eviction bans. We are working on our credit score which is shy a few points to qualify for a Veteran home loan. (Husband is former Army)

    My son is on the verge of walking and there is no way to baby proof this room. Every day I run the roads with the kids until their bath time, going from one park-‘kid oriented place’ to another so they aren’t cooped up in this depressing place. As their mother I feel utterly helpless. As December gets closer and closer I am heartbroken that they will have to experience another Christmas in this place.

    Just the mental aspect of this situation and what it has done to my daughter is something I will never get over or forget or forgive myself for. She has an appointment for a psychiatrist this year because of the mental and emotional damage and the overall change in her personality since this happened.

    the idea of having my kids in a hotel for a second Christmas wakes me up at night, knowing my daughter is a year from starting school without stability has me awake all night…knowing my son will learn to walk in a hotel room has me awake all night…the fact that both my kids haven’t woken to sunlight pouring through a window in nearly a year…that I cannot cook them a homemade meal…these are just a few things that constantly go through my thoughts…

    I feel so utterly hopeless and helpless right now. I just want my kids to have a home.

    My husband is a 70% disabled Army veteran who suffers from depression but every day he gets up and goes to work regardless of the struggle I see in his mental health.
    I have felt so isolated in this situation and abandoned by God. Thank you for the reminder that He has the final say. Bless you!!! Heidi

    1. Heidi
      Your a good woman and good support for your husband. DONOT give up on him or your kids or yourself. He must trust in you and lean on you so he can deal with work. Your his blessing remember that. Your the artery for the family. You sound like an amazing person.
      Your problems you face feel large but your a soft person that’s allowing trivial problems in with Satan’s attacks. Your all warm, cloth, safe and together. That’s alot right there. DONT give up just before the miracle. Your amazing mom amd amazing wife. Keep your faith, be close to those kids with love and treasure your husband’s weakness. Be the lamp of the home. Your going to win this battle only if you stand the test of time. We all face our trials , as God tries to allow perseverance. He wants to bless us and show us mercy. So trust in God and don’t let him down or hurt God’s heart. Show God you mean business and your his warrier. Show God your love by faith. Remove all plaque in your heart and soul. Pray pray pray for God’s grace and in turn Show him your love. He longs to bless you each night as he looks over the world. Stand out and just believe; how simple your relationship to christ is ment to be. Just believe.
      Take care.

  2. I feel so terrible. I have lost all my friends for different reasons. I have never felt more alone in my life. To have people in one’s life, and yet feel so alone, how does that happen? I’ve lost my faith. I’ve yelled at God. I’ve repproached him. I’ve blamed him for things that are my fault, but where I feel he’s let me to fall of the abyss.
    I don’t pray. I don’t want to. I don’t know what it is anymore. Is it praise or grievances? Is it talking to a friend, or demanding things?

    I’ve been dealing with a health issue that has plagued me for three years. No clear diagnosis, just more questions and the dread of pain. I’ve ask for healing, I get meds and no answer.

    I feel like I’m failong and flailong under the weight of my own idiocy, laziness, apathy, and overall looserness.

    I feel alone, and it hurts.

    1. Wren, I know exactly how you feel. I have been in this situation more than once. I too have had horrible health issues with no answers. The doctors just gave more medicine, and it didn’t really work. You don’t get to the root of the issue with meds. It’s a bandaid. A stop-gap until you can figure out what is wrong.
      I got online and started researching my illness and alternative methods. I found a specific diet for my illness, different vitamins, and slowly started to exercise. I also worked on forgiving those who hurt me. I harbored an enormous amount of anger toward family, God, and myself. Over time, I started to heal.
      As far as God, there were a few periods along the way that I hated God; He could handle it. I shook my fist at Him and even decided He didn’t exist. I eventually came back to Him in humility and found His plan for my life was better than what I could do.
      God doesn’t force us to come to Him. We must decide we are so broken that what we are doing doesn’t work. It is only when we are shattered to dust that the Potter can add His living water to us and make clay. From there we become malleable for the Potter.
      I have found suffering to be the worst thing and the best thing. It is the opportunity for us to realize that we are nothing without God. What we are doing isn’t working.
      I implore you to pray and ask God for wisdom for your circumstances. He will guide you one step at a time down the right path to healing. It may mean a lot of changes in the way you are doing things. Self-control in what you eat, how you are managing your body, what you are thinking, what you are reading and listening to on a daily basis, and addressing habits that are not healthy. Addictions, self-pity, unforgiveness, self-hatred, and lies that you believe about yourself.
      This is the journey I took and am still taking. And it is working. I have experienced a lot of healing. And continue to as the days go by. Be willing to let God work in your life and change your behavior.
      I am praying for you now.
      This isn’t probably what you want to hear, but it is true. God can change your circumstances if you bow down to Him and submit to what His plan is for your life. He has a good plan, and He is good.
      The ball is now in your court.
      My heart is with you and I am rooting for you.

  3. I was feeling like God has abandoned me when I came across your post. Had a health issue & shattered finances. I realized that all I need is His mercies and graces to take me through those challenges. He is the God who is true to His word.

    1. Lucy, I am so sorry about all of your trials. I know this is a very difficult time for you. Sometimes it is a day-by-day, minute-by-minute choice to trust God when it looks bad. I have found that sometimes God closes one door, and it turns out to be a good thing in the end. It is not easy to allow him to prune and cut things out of our lives. But overall, I am glad he does it even though it hurts. I pray He provides for you in ways you never imagine.

      1. I feel abandoned, life has been horrible ever since i had my kids . Always struggling always messing up . I am
        Destroyed and still nothing . I lost my job couldn’t get unemployment . At least i was able to do doordash but my axle cracked today ! Hurricane tomorrow i just cant im sitting in my car crying my eyes out . My daughter has been stealing and she is only 12 the devil is also attacking my son . I cannot take anymore

        1. Elle, I am so sorry for everything you are going through. I am praying for you right now. I don’t know what God is doing in your life, but I know that He loves you deeply and He cares for you. Running to Him is the best thing you can do. He hears our cries and provides others to help us along the way if we ask.
          If you can find a church nearby that can help, I bet they would. There are people who want to help you get back on your feet. Possibly family can help? I am praying for God to provide for you and to bring godly people into your kid’s lives.
          The best thing you can do is set a good example for your kids. Be that godly person and pray for them daily. Set healthy boundaries with them. Saying “no” is not a bad thing. And giving consequences for bad behavior.
          My heart breaks for you and I pray for you to find the help you need.

    2. I am broken. I am alone. I have spent most of my life helping others, loving others yet no one every looks out for me. I’m now unemployed, heartbtoken and near hopelessness. I have been drawing near God. Praying and repenting and seeking to have a deeper relationship with him. I can’t hear him. I’m so lost. Does he really love me? I believe he does but it sure doesn’t feel like it.

      1. FJ, yes, God absolutely loves you. When we go through times of suffering it feels like God has abandoned us. I so understand this, more than you know. The silence is horrible and Satan keeps telling you that God doesn’t love you or even care what happens to you. That is a lie from the deciever. Satan is the accuser. The only thing I know to do when things look horrible is to go back to God’s word and believe what He says. We are loved, He has a good plan, we can trust Him in the darkness, we are not alone, count it all joy when trials hit us, God is never going to leave or forsake us, my God is mighty, He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I encourage you to stand on the truth even when what you see looks horrible.
        Many times I have trusted my feelings, and they are fickle. In times of trial, we must choose to believe even when we can’t see. Choose logically to believe Him and push those fearful feelings down. Give them to God. Cry out to HIm. Fast, pray, and seek Him. Beg Him for answers. Continue in prayer day and night in your heart to talk to God and tell Him you trust Him. In fact, you can say, “I trust you God” all day long. Pray for a breakthrough. God hears our cries and He answers.
        I am praying for you now.

  4. God helps those he wants to help and doesn’t help or even acknowledge others – kind of like the playground in school, not everyone is a cool kid. It’s really not just or merciful or righteous. It doesn’t matter how many years you pray or live life completely miserable doing all the right things, God only helps some people. And those people like to share with others God won’t abandon how to live and how to trust and how to keep believing, but he does, it’s ok, you’re not alone. The ones that God answers are the ones that feel compelled to write these types of articles. I too once was upbeat and positive and trusting for over 25 years I prayed and begged and pleaded for a family. I ended up still alone, sick, and more miserable by the day. Wherever God is – it isn’t here. False hope is what posts like this promote. God doesn’t help everyone. He doesn’t even answer. For some it never gets better. It’s kind of a joke. That’s point of view should also be acknowledged so people should realize it doesn’t happen for everyone. Don’t feel bad if you’ve spent your life praying and begging and God doesn’t show up. You haven’t done anything to deserve it. It’s just how life is for some people.

    1. Anna, first of all, I am so sorry. I can hear the incredible hurt in your words. I can so relate to you. I once felt this way too. There is no way around it. Life is hard and many times cruel. It is easy to blame God. I get it all too well.
      Maybe you don’t know my story. I prayed and begged God to change my family situation and my health. There was a time when I was estranged from my family for 7 years, and I suffered from Crohn’s disease. In fact, they were going to take my colon out and replace it with a bag. It was an irreversible procedure.
      I felt God had abandoned me, and that Christianity only worked for some people. I just wasn’t one of them. I felt worthless, unloved, and forgotten. Yes, I cried out to God, like you, but didn’t hear or feel any change for a long while.
      I got into counseling and realized I could only change myself, not those around me. I was stuck in my own self-pity. In order to get out, I had to change my thinking, set boundaries, and embrace the one thing that I refused to believe–God’s love.
      I had acted unloved by living in unforgiveness and staying bitter. While I had been dealt a difficult hand, I realized the only way out was to forgive. (And there was a lot to forgive.) My counselor, who had been at Minrith Meyer for over 25 years, said my family dysfunction was the top 3 worst he had dealt with. I understand pain physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
      I am now living in forgiveness and setting strong boundaries with those around me. Instead of wallowing in the self-pity that I so loved, I wallow in God’s grace and lavish love. And realize that I am just as broken as those I once hated.
      You are loved. But you have to accept it. And then live in it. It’s a mind shift. I would suggest you read Uninvited by Lisa TerKeurst. Or read my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart. I give steps to help you change the narrative in your life. With God’s help, you can embrace the truth. But it takes time.
      I am praying right now that you will stop fighting God. Lay down your anger, bitterness, and hatred toward Him as I did. Run to Him like a little child. Ask him to show you how to live in His love. Your circumstances around you may not change, but you will. And that will make those around you have to adjust to your new behavior.
      If you are waiting for everyone else to change, you will never get healed. It starts with you. Start today. And ask God to show you His love.

  5. Toya M. Johnson

    I’m about to give up. I lost my job in 2019 because I was worn down and suffered from anxiety. Finally got a new one at the start of 2020 and then… I’ve been going through it with unemployment. They owe me almost $14K and I haven’t been paid since September. I decided today to take out the remainder of my 401K (I had to take the rest of it) that I was trying to save as a last, last resort. My lease is up on my apartment and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford it. I’ve been looking for a job since I got laid off in October after being on furlough in March.

    I have been singing at church two Sundays a month with a praise team since March last year. I sing at every funeral since I have the time. I serve. I read devotionals in the morning and night to hear from God. I started a prayer journal to get focused. And still nothing. No help. No word. No sign. Nothing. What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t God there? Why won’t he help?

    1. Tonya, first of all, I am so sorry. I can’t begin to say I understand what is going on. All I can say is that when we are in times of crisis, we need to look back at God’s character. He is good and loves you so much. Personally, I can look back on all the hard times in my life and see what God was doing when I was out of the storm. For instance, my college-age daughter had a horrific head injury in 2019. She had to quit college and come home. It was so bad she couldn’t move without triggering a migraine. I was so angry at God. I had no idea what he was doing at the time. Now I see what he was doing 2 years out. She needed to come home, change schools and majors, and do some things differently. It was so awful but God used it for good. Whatever you are going through, God will use for good. Sometimes we are being moved into a different thing, and we just have to do it whether we understand or not. And trust God when all seems lost. I pray God shows you what to do when it is time to do it. He is faithful if you will trust Him even when it doesn’t make sense.

  6. Why does God ignore me when I ask for help? I’m so lost and afraid but God seems to keep throwing obstacles at me that I can no longer deal with.

    1. Hi Lucy. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Oh, that this life was easy, but it is not. I can understand how you feel. There are many times that I have looked up at the ceiling and shook my fist at God. I felt He was distant, mean, and hated me. My life was a mess.
      I cried out to Him for help and felt nothing back. It wasn’t until I got into counseling and realize how much hatred, unforgiveness, and bitterness I had in my heart that it clouded the truth. I lived in a self-sabotaging narrative that punished no one but me.
      The answers I wanted didn’t match up to what God was saying: pray for those who hurt me, set boundaries, forgive, release my hurts, don’t wallow, spend time with HIm every day, work on myself, change me–not others, quit controlling others, and most of all, accept His love.
      Everything God said went against what the world and my flesh said to do. It didn’t make sense. His economy was upside down to the world. It’s counterintuitive.
      Since everything I was doing didn’t work, I gave His way a try. And I am now living in a much better place. My colon is healed, I have a relationship with my family that includes boundaries, and I live loved.
      Did I change the people around me. Well, yes and no. When I changed, it forced them to change. When they act badly, I set boundaries. I step back, and I forgive. If I accidentally put myself in a bad situation, I forgive myself. I step back and pray. I ask God to help me stay healthy.
      Sometimes a relationship is so toxic that you have to step back. Don’t be afraid to do that until you get healing and learn how to set boundaries. I pray that God will be with you. Keep seeking Him. He will answer you. But you have to be willing to hear what He has to say, even if you don’t like it.

    1. Tinashe, I look at the stars quite often to remind myself of how big He is and how little I am. Creation screams His name, and we can hear it off we listen closely. Yes, you can trust Hom with your life. He is good.

  7. God will never leave us or forsake us! I know this to be true, but sometimes I definitely feel like I’m bearing the burden alone. Thank you for these reminders! They’re such a comfort!

    1. I am so sorry you are feeling alone in your journey. I think this is a common feeling for many people right now. Rest on God’s wisdom to help you as navigate through your difficult time. God has not left you, not for a second.

    1. Sarah, yes God is truly here no matter what people are doing or saying right now. He has not forsaken you. He will help you through the fiercest storms. I pray you will remember these truths when you feel God has left you.

  8. Thanks for the reminder. It’s easy to get so caught up in the day to day that I forget God is engaged in my dayd to day. I have to keep my focus on Him so that I can keep my steps in Him.

    1. Thank you for the reminder. 8 years of unfair suffering for my family. They had strong Christian faiths, but it has been shattered over and over by a powerful person. I can see how the pieces might be recovered and made into a new mosaic that brings hope and beauty while not trying to cover up the broken pieces. I hope that my family will be able to do that someday. It all rings rather hollow right now.

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