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Do you want to know how to move on from family estrangement? I understand all too well the pain and isolation you are feeling.

Many of you are hurting deeply because of something a family member did to you, and you think it will never be the same.

Sadly, you hardly talk anymore. Perhaps you are even estranged. When this happens, no one wins.

RELATED: Check out this post in Woman’s World magazine by Kristina Mastrocola called “ 6 Ways to Mend a Family Rift and Find Connection, Love, and Harmony.” It features my book, plus a few comments about family estrangement!

I am one of many adult children who chose to break off the relationship with not only my parents but my whole family. My husband, children, and I became estranged about ten years ago.

After seven years apart, God intervened miraculously and brought us back together.

Looking from the outside, you would never think this would happen to my family or me. We were the model family—a prominent, well-known Christian family in Dallas, Texas, with deep roots in the restaurant business, real estate, and then ministry.

Yes, Christian ministry. Family estrangement can happen to anyone, even Christians who love Jesus. The good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck. You can move out of your pain and heal your heart.

If you want to know how to move on from family estrangement, let’s first look at some of the facts surrounding it.

RELATED: How To Fix An Estranged Relationship with Family [Video]

How Common Is Parental Estrangement?

You might be wondering how common parental estrangement is in Christian families. It’s more common than you think, yet no one talks about it.

There is so much shame and embarrassment because we know better as believers. You may be struggling with the fact that a Christian could even be living in estrangement at all.

I’ll let you in on a secret. I became estranged because there are no perfect families, and there certainly are no perfect Christians. Oddly enough, when I started talking to other believers, I found many other people had family problems just like me.

I wasn’t alone after all.

I had felt so alone for many years. Satan kept telling me no one else understood and that I wasn’t even a Christian because I couldn’t get along with my parents. Furthermore, I kept thinking I might go to hell because we were estranged.

Satan is a liar. And he had me caught in a web of lies.

God loves you, no matter where you are in the process. And let me tell you, you are not alone by a long shot.

There is hope. You can learn how to move on from family estrangement, even if it seems hopeless.

RELATED: How to Deal with Difficult Family Members and Overcome Hurt

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What Causes Family Estrangement?

There are many reasons families grow apart. Before you can learn how to move on from family estrangement, let’s discuss what is happening in your family:

1. Addiction

Both adult children or parents can get caught in the terrible trap of addiction. Sadly, it is ripping our families apart. Alcohol, drugs, and sexual dysfunction seem to be just some of the culprits.

When your loved one is more interested in medicating pain, it is hard to have a meaningful relationship.

It controls who a person is and how he behaves. It is tough to confront a family member who is abusing a substance without causing a strain in the relationship.

Yet, not saying anything is not good either. It feels like a no-win situation until real change happens.

It’s hard to know how to move on from family estrangement if there is an alcoholic in the family.

2. Mental Illness

Mental illness or personality disorder is another common factor in broken family relationships. Families don’t know how to help their loved ones since they are adults.

We often sweep the bad behavior under the rug and just excuse it as part of their personality.

Meanwhile, everyone tip-toes around, hoping not to trigger a tantrum until they get tired of it. They decide to walk away because it is easier than continuing to appease, apologize, and jump through more hoops.

See also  How to Discipline Kids: 29 Easy Ways to Get Obedience

We are exhausted and mentally can’t take it any longer.

Mental illness will keep you from knowing how to move on from family estrangement.

3. Abuse

Abuse can come in many shapes and forms. Each type of abuse –physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and sexual–is painful and not to be ignored. In many cases, the abuser will deny any bad behavior and blame the victim. It can make a person feel crazy.

Other times, an abuser will admit guilt but refuse to move toward change. Moreover, sometimes change is promised only to conveniently “forget” and then keep repeating the abuse. Sadly, there is a vicious cycle of apologies and then more abuse.

Abuse is a broad path with many avenues. All forms have to stop.

4. Economic Control

Parents often use money to keep their adult children within their sphere. It is a way to control them and maintain a foothold in their lives. This becomes even more complicated when there is a family business. When money is involved, people tend to act differently.

In the Bible, Abraham and Lot had money issues because their flocks were together. Eventually, they had to separate to keep their relationships intact.

Abraham realized that relationships were more important than money. That is a good lesson to remember if you want to know how to move on from family estrangement.

5. Holiday Stress

Young parents are often pushed and pulled to appear at everyone’s house during the holidays. This causes incredible stress, especially for little kids who miss nap times and are overstimulated with travel, people, and food.

Over the years, the parents have been afraid to speak up to their extended family and tell them they are miserable.

Moreover, they want to stay home and enjoy their family and rest. Unfortunately, they are scared to talk to their extended family and tell them the truth.

Then, a situation blows up one day, and the young couple is done. Instead of working out a reasonable schedule, they decide not to return. Be flexible if you want to know how to move on from a family estrangement.

RELATED: Estranged From Family at the Holidays: 7 Tips When You Feel Alone

6. Parental Alienation

Parental alienation is when a child is forced to break a relationship with another family member due to the adults not getting along.

In my family, it happened when my grandfather disowned my dad. Therefore, I automatically became estranged from my grandparents.

Unfortunately, kids are forced to take sides, sometimes for life, even though they have nothing to do with the relationship breakdown. It is hard to know how to move on from family estrangement when forced to leave against your will.

7. Sexual Choices

There are many stories of families who split because the adult child has chosen a life of sexual immorality, whether it is sex outside of marriage with the opposite sex or an alternate lifestyle.

In all my research, I have never read a story where estrangement brought an adult child back to a heart of repentance.

If you have rejected or even disowned your adult child because you think this is going to change him, I ask you to reconsider.

You can not control a person and expect him to feel loved or want to return to you when your love is conditional.

You can hate the sin and still love the sinner. You may have to set firm boundaries. This is how to move on from family estrangement.

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How Do You Deal With Family Estrangement?

Here are some estrangement solutions you may not have thought about trying. This is what I did to find hope and healing even while I was still away from my family:

1. Pray

You may not see results right away, but prayer works. Let God show you how to pray.

He showed me how to start praying for my parents. Yep, it was hard at first, but it broke the anger. Prayer is how I reconciled with my parents and the whole family.

Prayer is how to move on from family estrangement and get healing.

RELATED: 7 Powerful Ways to Increase Your War Room Prayer Strategy

2. Fast

If you want to speed up things, then fast.

I fasted and prayed on Tuesday and Wednesday, and my dad called two days later, on Friday. He had no idea I had fasted. It was miraculous.

See also  Making Money As a Stay-at-Home Mom: Quick Cash

After seven years, God moved, and my prayer was answered. I prayed for God to talk to my dad in a dream, and He DID! It’s a great story.

If you want to know how to move on from family estrangement, fast.

3. Work On Yourself

You can’t change anyone but yourself. You probably believe the other party is at fault, not you. I ask you to examine your heart. Do you harbor unforgiveness, feel hate, or bitterness?

Are you retaliating? Then, there are things you can do to heal.

This is how to move on from family estrangement.

4. Forgive

Your part may be nothing more than to forgive. Don’t discount this step. It is everything. There will never be real healing without forgiveness. I had to work on this the most while I was away.

It doesn’t matter how bad your situation is; it can be forgiven. That doesn’t mean you have to go back and reconcile.

Forgiveness is how to move on from family estrangement. It takes only you to do it; reconciliation is earned and takes two people. Forgiveness is not earned, nor is it deserved.

Unfortunately, most people don’t realize that they put themselves in prison when they don’t forgive. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness is for you and your relationship with God. It is how to move on from family estrangement.

RELATED: Supercharge Your Life When You Forgive Those Who Hurt You

5. Get Help

If you can’t work through the issues and completely forgive, you may need someone to help you learn how to move on from family estrangement.

Find a counselor, a pastor, or someone qualified to help you process your situation. Some churches even offer support groups.

If you stay stuck, you poison yourself. Be courageous and leave your comfort zone to deal with your pain.

How Do You Heal Family Estrangement?

If you want to move on from family estrangement, address the lies.

If you are like me, you may have a bad tape running through your head (lies) and need healing not just from estrangement but healing in general. Do you say things to yourself like:

  • No one loves me, not even my family.
  • I am worthless.
  • I can’t do anything right.
  • I can’t change.
  • I am always going to feel this way.
  • I can’t stop the anger.
  • I can’t forgive.
  • They hurt me, and I am going to make them pay.
  • No one understands me.

Sadly, these are familiar words we tell ourselves. And they are destructive. The way to heal from your family estrangement is to:

1. Reprograming your mind is how to move on from family estrangement

I created notecards with specific scriptures that reinforced what God says about me. I said them over and over for months to heal my heart.

I still say these things to myself when that bad tape in my head gets activated. This is part of how to move on from family estrangement.

RELATED: How to Stop Negative Self-Talk: 7 Tips to Believe the Truth

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2. Worshipping is how to move on from family estrangement

I have found worship music to be one of the greatest ways on how to move on from family estrangement.

Worship takes my mind off of the problems and puts them where it belongs–on God. I have found the group Hillsong to be compelling worship music.

It is one of the best tools for spiritual warfare.

3. Setting boundaries is how to move on from family estrangement

When I returned, one of the best things I did was set healthy boundaries with my parents. I realized they were not mind-readers.

They needed me to communicate with them about what was important and okay. They have done an excellent job listening to me, as I have to them.

It’s not like all the problems disappeared after reconnecting with family after years of being away. However, I will say many of our family problems have been resolved. We don’t expect perfection from each other; just honesty, grace, and forgiveness.

This is how to move on from family estrangement.

RELATED: How to Set Boundaries with Family Members the Right Way

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How To Move On From Family Estrangement

These four principles, plus my fifth addition, are how to move on from family estrangement. I have them written on one of my notecards and have said them out loud many times to help reinforce them.

June Hunt says this is how to move on from family estrangement by doing these things:

  • Release the right to hear “I’m sorry” for the offense.
  • Release the right to dwell on the offense
  • Release the right to hold onto the offense.
  • Release the right to keep bringing up the offense.
  • My addition: pray and fast for those who have hurt you

When I first read this, I thought June Hunt had lost her marbles. I kept looking for a typo or an exception. This didn’t sound feasible or even fair.

However, I knew her testimony and how she had moved on from family estrangement into an entire life of ministry as a counselor.

In faith, I started practicing these concepts. Thankfully, June Hunt was right.

It worked. It’s better than I thought.

I also started praying and fasting. This really helped me to forgive and move on with my life. Forgiveness focuses on the offense; reconciliation focuses on the relationship.

You don’t have to reconcile to forgive, although I highly recommend it, if possible.

Sadly, it’s not always possible to reconcile because your family members are too toxic.

That’s okay.

Pin it for later!

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Reconnecting With Family After Years of Estrangement

I pray for you to reconnect with your family. With God’s grace, you can return even years later.

My estrangement lasted seven years. It was a long time, but God was working through it all. Now that I look back, I can see his hand.

At the time, it seemed like nothing was happening. But God was definitely working on both sides. Check out my book for the complete story. It’s incredible how God moved!

I hope my story will help you with how to move on from family estrangement. With God’s help, you can recover from a broken relationship. Just be willing to follow what He wants you to do.

RELATED: Check out this Woman’s World magazine post, “6 Ways to Mend a Family Rift and Find Connection, Love, and Harmony.” I am a contributor to the article. What an honor!

Do you have tips on how to move on from family estrangement? Comment below. 

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Included is biblical advice to help couples develop new behaviors and strengthen their marriage with healthy boundaries. With over 30 years of marriage experience, there are practical tips to overcome old behavior patterns and rekindle a marriage relationship rooted in God’s love.

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Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you struggling with family issues that have resulted in a family rift or a family estrangement? Are you feeling a sense of shame, anger, or rejection?  Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.

In it, I share my own experience of a seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and how we eventually reconciled. Furthermore, I provide practical advice to help you navigate your family issues. Don’t let the pain of estrangement hold you back.

Allow God to assist you in healing, no matter what has happened within your family. Remember, there is always hope to be found, even when things seem to be falling apart.

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Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the Christian Family Living group. This is a place for Christian women to freely talk about parenting, marriage, faith, family, and culture. Being a Christian is hard! Let’s do it together. Most of all, a sense of humor is required. Got memes? Bring it on!

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Author

Julie is a wife, mom, teacher, author, and blogger. She writes about Christian family living, marriage, parenting with a touch of humor.

55 Comments

  1. I just read your book. I’m curious to know if your parents tried to contact you through the 7 yrs? Did they send cards, try to call, try to communicate, try to reconcile? Or was it just silence on both ends–yours and theirs? What did you tell your children about why you left the family? Did they want to continue seeing their grandparents? Did your husband every encourage you to try to reconcile? Do you carry guilt or shame as result of the estrangement? In hindsight, do you feel that you & your parents had played equal parts which led to your estrangement? In your book, you state your parents expected you to dog sit, help put up their x mas decor, get to know their friends etc. That doesn’t sound to me like any of the reasons for estrangement that you listed in your book? In hindsight, could these things have been worked out, avoiding a 7 yr rift? Did your sister leave for the same reasons you did? My own family is in the midst of this, so I’d love to hear your answers to these questions. Thanks for writing the book!

    • My parents contacted me a few times throughout our estrangement. It came in the form of cards and checks. They tried hard to leave us alone, but something came to us every once in a while. Also, I visited my dad in the hospital when he had a heart attack 3 1/2 years in. I wasn’t sure if he was going to live. I wanted closure. For the most part, there was silence. I had an enormous amount of guilt and shame about our estrangement. I just didn’t have the right tools at the time to set good boundaries and follow through with it. Nor did I have a healthy thought life or self-control to keep from falling into self-pity. I believed lie after lie about myself. I don’t think you can assign percentages on who was more to blame. We each played a part. If you look in my book, you will see there are 9 things that can play into an estrangement. Most of those things were operating in the relationship with my parents. I do not give the reasons why we broke off our relationship because it’s not important. It’s all forgiven now. I will say that my counselor said my family was one of the most dysfunctional he’d seen in his 25 years of counseling. There were generational strongholds that had been passed down from my Italian grandparents who had nefarious connections. At the time, I don’t know what I could have done differently. I needed to peace to heal my colon. I needed time to forgive and heal. To change my thinking. I wish we never split though. The ramifications have been horrific. I felt trapped. I did the best I could do. Count the cost before you walk away. I suggest reading Gary Thomas’ book When to Walk Away before you make a final decision. My sister and I left for a lot of the same reasons, but each of us had our own hurts and issues. I hope this answers some of your questions. I would suggest doing all the things in my book: pray, fast, work on yourself, worship, journal, volunteer, go to a counselor. and definitely read Gary’s book! I pray your family can work through your issues. Take care.

  2. My grown daughters blame me only for our divorce. They have not backed down and continue to be hurtful and have stopped me from seeing my grandchildren. I am so hurt by their cruelty that I don’t think I can survive. I can’t believe they have turned out this way. I don’t blame myself and I know why I left the marriage but they will never support or accept it. I will try to forgive but they have taken away the only thing I love!

    • Jody, my heart hurts so much for you. I know you are struggling to forgive everyone involved. I would totally recommend you get my book and work through it. There are questions at the end of each chapter to help you process what happened, and then a guide at the end on what you can do while you are waiting for God to move. You may feel powerless, but you are not. Realize that you can only control yourself, and how you react to their behavior. And then pray and fast, and leave the rest to God. Forgiveness is truly the superpower to helping you survive this huge blow. It sounds so counterintuitive but it is the only thing that really works.

  3. Nobody can understand unless theyve walked in your shoes.
    My relatives/family have so much mental illness, you need a program to know whos talking to who. My mother is the Queen Bee of it all. Critical, controlling.. narcissist. Many other members have that as well as other mood disorders. The division is so upsetting.
    Im a christian and have had to distance for self preservation, although i tolerated and took abuse for years. Unfortunately, some of this is genetic and some are learned family dynamics.
    Ive prayed for years and havent seen much change. I know its free Will but why doesnt God intervene. Im ready to walk away from my faith in such discouragement.
    Please pray for healing for this family..
    Thank you…

    • Hi Mia,
      I am so sorry about your family. I totally understand your frustrations and hurts. Like you, I prayed for years for God to change the circumstances. It wasn’t until I both fasted and prayed that God did something. I totally recommend reading my full story so you can get some tips to help you. In the meantime, there are things you can do to move the situation. It involves only changing things in your realm. You can only change you, not them. Subsequently, when you change what you are doing, it forces others to change.
      Most of all, I pray you will work on forgiveness. You can forgive and not be in a relationship. Forgiveness focuses on the offense. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship.
      My prayers are with you. Take care.

    • Please don’t walk away from the faith you have. I am in your shoes right now too with the same issues. I have walked away from one member of the family and pushed away by the other. The reason I say hold onto faith is because I witnessed how bitterness turns against you and you need to be ok so at the moment hold on for you, while you are working through your feelings. I am really struggling with my situation but something within me is urging me to hold onto faith. I am not particularly religious either of what you would call a practising Christian but I feel grateful to believe there is something much bigger than me out there and by clinging on it will help me through.

      • Hi Mia,
        I understand your frustrations with your family. I asked God some of the same questions. I had to separate myself from my family because the relationship was toxic. During that time I went to counseling and worked on myself. That is the only thing I could change–me. I learned how to change my thinking, set better boundaries, and heal internally from past wounds. Unforgiveness had a hold on me. What I learned is that by changing myself, it changed others. After 7 years, God led me back to my family. It took that long for all parties to heal. Sometimes it is not possible to be in a relationship with someone without sinning. In that case, I recommend time apart. Even if you don’t reconcile, you are commanded to forgive. God is in the business of miracles, but most of the time we have to do the work of changing our hearts. Start with you. There is nothing else you can change but how you behave. I pray God will help you find your way.

  4. Tracy Honey Reply

    I have both sides to this story. I’m writing because yours has touched my heart with its sensitivity and wisdom. So many parents think that a child walks away for “no reason”. Absolutely not true. It takes all parties to have a relationship. I have a son, who walked from us at 19, got married and from the safety of being married, returned to us and we talked through his situation to heal and get on better terms than before. Last week, my mother who is 80 and lives 6000 miles away, had her last meltdown with me. As a Christian and a counselor, I know not to close the door on her but pray and hope for reconciliation. But, I’m thinking this. How can a parent who loves their child, ever be ok with just ending the relationship. It seems to me that you do everything possible to heal the relationship. Not just walk away in offense. My entire family of origin works from one of two states. Deep offense and anxiety, or outrage and anger. No-one will be upfront and transparent. The snipy comments, the passive aggressiveness, the accusations. None of this comes from love. Love is patient, kind, always protects. When I look at the love chapter in the bible, I see the opposite in my parents. Unfortunately, with dad being 90 and with Alzheimers, a wife who hates him but cannot cope, co-dependency on me, a hateful brother who abuses and controls, I am at my wits end with them all. None of this aligns with God’s ways. My husband and I confronted my mum, (I hate the word confronted – it sounds so aggressive). But there is a time for truth to be spoken and I had wanted to reach the ends of their lives in peace, it was not to be. I spent the last year making calls home and being hounded by my brother’s attacks, dispirited by my mother’s accusations and manipulations, threats and drama. When my husband spoke to her, she flat out denied it all and said I was the drama queen. Even in a knee jerk reaction, I am floored by the fact that she hasn’t come into address this and try and put things right. To at least say, “While I’m having trouble seeing this, I will consider it and get back to you”.

    So, my heart is broken and I don’t have one relationship with any of the three of them. I pray each day and wait to see what God will do

    • Tracy, I can totally understand your pain. Things are said in anger, and then no one wants to go back and apologize for their bad behavior and change. At the end of the day, you can only be responsible for your own actions. If you have done everything in your power to make things right, then the rest is up to God.
      I’m sure you know all this since you are a counselor. I think this added dimension must make it even more frustrating because counselors are supposed to know everything to do. Alas, you are only one person, even as a counselor.
      It is sad that your parents are at the end of their lives and won’t try to get things right before they die. I’m sure your dad is too far gone, but your mom has time. I find it shocking that people can not put down their swords and just try to work together towards the same thing-peace.
      I will say prayers for you and your family. Many blessings to you.

    • Tracy Honey Reply

      thank you so much – the support means everything to me. Jesus was not heard in his hometown. I’m not comparing myself to God, but sometimes I think being a counselor is received well by those outside of family. Family has instead chosen to persecute

      • Thanks. We have reconciled; it took seven years. During those years, I had to figure out how to move on from family estrangement so that I could be a productive member of my family, church, and community. It was hard, but God helped me. These 5 tips are what I did while waiting for God to move.

    • Brenda Collins Reply

      I am in a horrible situation as you, very similar, I don’t know why but you tugged at my heart, Pray for you.

      • God worked in my situation. We are now reconciled. While this doesn’t happen to everyone, you can still love from afar by forgiving. Forgiving doesn’t mean it was ok, it just means you are okay. It’s a way to make peace with your soul and not let it devour you. Unforgiveness is poison. I hope you can move on from your family estrangement and heal until God works a miracle in your situation.

  5. The role of anger is so destructive.

    My in-laws are estranged from my husband and me.

    It’s difficult because they accuse me of stealing their son. As their wife, how does one do that?

    They tell family members that “she won, we lost.”

    But why do I need to apologize for the reality that my husband and I answer to each other and not to his parents?

    Just because they feel betrayed and a deep loss doesn’t mean that I am guilty of wrongdoing!

    Why do I have to apologize for my husband’s primary loyalty is to me (and vice versa!) and no longer to them?

    Our marriage is about love but they see our marital union as competition and loss.

    Am I supposed to apologize for having a happy and healthy marriage?

    By the way, when my husband communicates these points, his parents accuse him of being spineless and brainwashed!

    Sigh. Because we cherish our marriage and want to be able to schedule our own vacations and raise our children without criticism and meddling, his parents have cut him off.

    Sometimes anger is part of a personality disorder and you have to give it up to God and pray!

    • My heart breaks when I read this. You are right to have your marriage as the first priority. When you say “I do” you become one. Such a biblical principle and so many parents feet threatened by this normal union.
      In a healthy relationship, you can all make room for each other. So sad they drew a line in the sand and lost all contact because they couldn’t share. They are the biggest losers because they lost their son and any future grandchildren.
      I hope you will pray for the situation daily as God can change hearts. Thank you for opening up and being vulnerable about this situation.

  6. Very insightful read. I hope that your relationships with your family can mend over time. Being estranged is never something you can predict to happen as family dynamics continue to change as each individual changes.
    xoxo
    Annie

    • It is so much better. Thank you so much for your comment. Working things out is so much better than being estranged.

    • Today is when the relationship with my 23 year old daughter imploded and ended. I am 51 and she is my middle child and only daughter. I am heartbroken. I have apologized to her, but she will not accept it. She maintains that she has done nothing wrong and has nothing to apologize for. Basically she thinks we are mean to her because we are not giving her something she “deserves because she is our child and if we love her, we will do this” . She told me if I am heartbroken, it is my own fault.
      My dad died two months ago, and his loss pained me greatly, but it pales in comparison to what I feel now at losing my daughter. I am faithful. My mom says to pray. My husband says God can bring good out of this. At this point I don’t see how.
      You are right, anger is the root of all this and her pride, selfishness, and unforgiveness have brought us to this point. She has been this way her entire life. It is my belief she will never apologize. I can’t believe I raised a child that turned out like this.
      My grief is great. I am already mourning for all I will never experience with her, things in her life we will not share. I have lost my dad, and now I have lost my daughter.

  7. It can be so tough when families drift apart to reconcile after a long amount of time. I give you major kudos for making a relationship again.

  8. What a very personal, and emotional post. I applaud you for having the courage to share all of this with your readers (and even your family, as they may see it). Wishing you and your family lots of love x

    • Thanks. Yes, my family has read it. They are very supportive of me talking about it because they know how difficult it is to find people who will share. Once you do get things worked out, it is hard to say anything public about the details for fear it could go awry again. My parents are giving me lots of latitude which I am quite grateful.

  9. Wow. This was such a powerful read. I don’t know anyone personally who this has happened to but I loved your tips on what to do and how to handle it.

  10. I have a little brother who has written me out of the family. He doesn’t have God in his life and everything is always someone else fault. Including his wife and children. I keep in contact with my sister in law and the kids. I tried with my brother but to no avail.

    • That’s such a difficult situation. I am so sorry that has happened. All you can do at this point is pray for him. Hopefully, he will come back someday.

  11. I think the key point is that there are no perfect families, this is so true. I’m glad you found your family again, it is a shame you lost so much time with them.

  12. Anger can truly hurt you physically and mentally. Its important to not build up anger, I am glad to have fought through all the arguments my parents. I just had to realize they wont be here forever.

  13. This is so hard to read; I can’t imagine going through what you have. I’m happy you’ve managed to reconcile, and I hope you are a lot happier for it.

  14. It is good you found a way to work through and reconnect with family, I hope it brings you love in the future. Thank you for sharing.

  15. I can totally relate to the situation that you were dealing with, Anger will tear you up and cause all kinds of health issues. We have to get over it and put it behind us in order to start forgiving.

  16. I am so lucky to have such a strong family bond. We may not talk much, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love and support each other. And perhaps that’s the key to a STRONG family bond… Not encroaching on everyone’s Territory!

  17. So strong of you to share such a big struggle! I cant imagine how hard it is for you and your family but it must be one of the toughest things…Big hugs!

  18. Ah this is something I can relate to. I am estranged from my parents and it actually was the best decision I have ever made. Not something I would reconcile. I totally understand how hard it can be.

  19. This hit very close to home. My father and I had been estranged for over a year after a big fight the last time I visited him in Europe. I just felt so suffocated by him and his ‘right way of doing things’ that I decided to cut off the relationship for 11 months. Let me tell you, I really needed the time away to just think about our relationship and stop being so angry at him all the time. Now we are back to talking and stronger than ever. Thank you for sharing your story!

      • This topic hit home so it had me reading the comments. As I came to this one from your dad, my heart melted!! God is so good and the power of healing restoration is sure a beautiful thing!!

  20. I am proud of you for sharing some of your struggle, as I know it must be difficult to put it all down in black and white. I can only imagine it was even harder for you (and all of your family) to live through. I am thanking our Heavenly Father that the estrangement is in the past.

  21. I love what you wrote. We are estranged from parts of my husband’s family. People urge us to reconcile but the truth is they are very unsafe and cruel. We feel that God has us in a mode of separation. But boy, we do get a lot of condemnation for it.

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