Do you want to know how to change your husband without saying a word?
Yes, it is possible! You have to be patient though.
I know it’s hard to believe that you don’t have to say anything, but what I am telling you really works.
So what is the secret sauce?
If you want to know how to change your husband, then start praying.
No, I mean, REALLY START PRAYING.
I know some of you might think this is not possible, but I dare you to try it. Pray for him for several months and see for yourself.
It will change your husband (and you).
I found the best way to pray for your husband is to use scripture and add his name to the verse.
You can’t go wrong by praying God’s word back to God. It will always be the truth. You will be shocked at how powerful your prayers are when you do this.
I started this about 15 years ago, and it literally changed my marriage and family.
Here are some great tips to get you started.
Can Your Prayer Change Your Husband?
Changing another person, including your husband, through prayer is not about manipulating or controlling him, but rather about seeking guidance, healing, and transformation for both yourself and your relationship. If you are at a loss on how to start praying, here are a few prayers below that can also be downloaded in a printable pdf.
1. Pray for His Safety and Protection
Lord, I thank you right now for my husband, _____. I pray You would be with him wherever he goes. (Joshua 1:9) Protect him and keep him safe from harm. Keep him away from any kind of accident, sickness, or any other sort of destruction the evil one may have planned. I pray _______ would fear no evil as You are always with him, guiding him and directing him to a straight path. (Ps 23:4)
Give _____ discernment so as not to take any unnecessary risks or walk into a place of danger. Keep him safe from the enemy who is out to kill, steal, and destroy. (John 10:10) May all plans be thwarted and canceled by whoever may wish to harm him. God, I ask for You to be his refuge and his strength, and an ever-present help in trouble. (Ps 46:1)
Believe me, this kind of prayer is how to change your husband.
Get your FREE CONFLICT RESOLUTION PDF to help you and your spouse work through difficult problems.
2. Pray for Direction
Help my husband, ______, to lead me (and our family) in a direction that would be pleasing to You. Let him hear Your voice and be able to discern Your will for all of us. ( Jer. 33:3) I know it is easy to get distracted with all of the responsibilities that go with being a husband, father, and provider.
Show him how to juggle each responsibility with grace and wisdom knowing that You alone can lead him properly. I pray You would be his example as You are his Shepherd; leading him beside still waters. Let his soul to be refreshed. I pray goodness and mercy would follow him all the days of his life, and he would dwell in Your house forever. (Ps 23)
This is how to change your husband through prayer.
3. Pray for His Job
I give my husband’s job to you. I know that he may not like everything about it, but I pray he would not be weary in doing good. (Gal 6:9) I ask that _______ would be tenacious and not give up. Bless everything he puts his hands on; may he reap a harvest in due season. (Gal. 6:9)
May ______ always give careful and close attention to his work, but not be out of balance where he is working too much. Help him not to be overbearing, short-tempered, or greedy. I also pray he would not have a propensity towards laziness.
Instill in my husband a desire to be hard-working, diligent, and responsible with everything he has been given to do. (Eccles. 9:10) Thank you, God, for providing us with a stable income. If my husband is ever out of work, I pray you will quickly open doors for him to gain new employment.
God, I ask that if _______ is not in the right occupation, you will show him what he is to be doing. I know that you gave him gifts that are irrevocable. (Romans 11:29) Help him to use his gifts to serve you as well as others.
I pray nothing would be devoured, lost, or stolen from us. (1 Peter 5:8) I give everything we own to You, God. Help us to manage it wisely. I pray you would help us to be disciplined to give a tithe back to you so that we will be in complete obedience to your will. (Mal. 3:8-12)
4. Pray for Help in Trials
God, I know I cannot protect my husband from everything. I do, however, pray for You to be there with _____ as he goes through trials. I pray he will cast his burdens on You, and that you will sustain him in times of trouble. (Psalms 55:2)
Help me to love, support, and pray for him daily. (Philippians 4:6-7) Show me how to be a godly wife and the kind of woman who is encouraging to him.
Even though _______ may be pressed on every side, show him he is not crushed. I pray he would not have a heart of despair. Help him to know that You will never abandon him in times of trouble. ( 2 Cor. 4:8-9) Thank you, God, that those who trust and seek you will not be forsaken. (Psalms 9:10)
Praying these things is how to change your husband.
5. Pray He Will Be a Godly Husband
I ask that my husband truly understand how to love me, and I will learn how to love him. (1 Cor 13) I pray we will follow all the principles you have set for us so that we will have a healthy and vibrant marriage. (Eph 5:22-33)
Help us to be quick to forgive each other so that things will not fester between us. (Eph. 4:32)
I pray _____ will seek You with a humble and teachable spirit. (Proverbs 15:33) Teach my husband how to truly be a godly husband and a great leader in our marriage. Help me to be the kind of wife who will lovingly support him and not tear him down. (Prov. 31:10)
*You don’t have to use my prayers. You can go to the Bible and make your own prayers. These are just the ones to start with right now. Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of a Praying Wife is also a great resource.
What to Do When Your Husband Won’t Change
So, you have been praying for several weeks and you don’t see a difference. In fact, things are worse than ever.
This kind of spiritual warfare is not a one-and-done. You have to keep fighting in the spiritual realm.
Actually, you should expect things to get a little worse before they get better. (Yikes!)
God seems to answer prayers by allowing everything to fall apart first. It’s usually after we are completely broken that God works. Until then, pride is in the way.
If your husband won’t change, add these three things to the mix:
Encourage your husband
Your marriage will improve much faster if you will replace the nagging, berating, or manipulating with encouragement. Continue to pray and add encouragement.
For 30 days say only positive and encouraging things to him and about him publicly and privately.
Nothing negative. Nada.
I know this may be a struggle, but just close your mouth and breathe.
Overlook the dirty socks he leaves on the floor, the dirty dishes in the sink, and anything else.
Instead, catch him doing good and jump on that! Say “thank you” for his efforts. (Don’t overlook abuse!)
Fast specifically for your marriage
If you don’t see any change or it’s worse….it’s time to pull out the big guns.
It’s time to fast.
Skip a meal or two or three… and replace the time with prayer. Or do a sugar fast if you can’t skip meals.
Another idea is a media fast.
I usually start seeing breakthroughs when I fast somewhere between 24-48 hours. I know this is a long time, but it moves things.
If you don’t see movement, fast again in another week.
Keep doing this until there is some sort of positive movement. Don’t give up. This is war!
Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing and transformation. Pray for the strength to forgive and let go of past hurts, both for yourself and your husband. Holding onto resentment and grudges only hinders progress in a relationship.
Doing any or all of these things will change the way you feel about your spouse. It will transfer over into your tone of voice, your non-verbals, and your spirit. And that is everything because he will notice something is different. And, in turn, react differently.
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How Can I Change My Husband Towards Me?
Remember that changing someone else is ultimately beyond your control. However, by focusing on your own growth, fostering open communication, prayer, fasting, and forgiveness. you can create an environment conducive to positive change in your relationship.
By changing yourself, you change him. He can no longer behave the same way because you have broken the dysfunctional cycle with your new responses.
As you can see, heart change starts with you first. I know it is a shocker, but you are half of the equation. Don’t forget to download the FREE conflict resolution guide to help you set boundaries and fight fairly. There is a balance between prayer and boundaries.
I encourage you to try these tips. After all, what do you have to lose?
Did you get some meaningful tips on how to change your husband? Tell me what you do in the comment section.
Are You Struggling to Have a Healthy Marriage? Do You Want to Change Your Spouse?
Get Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love on Amazon or any digital platform. This book is filled with both humorous and impactful insights for anyone experiencing marriage conflict.
Included is biblical advice to help couples develop new behaviors and strengthen their marriage with healthy boundaries. With over 30 years of marriage experience, there are practical tips to not only overcome old patterns of behavior but also rekindle a marriage relationship that is rooted in God’s love.
Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!
Are you struggling with family issues that have resulted in a family rift or a family estrangement? Are you feeling a sense of shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.
In it, I share my own experience of a seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and how we eventually reconciled. Furthermore, I provide practical advice to help you navigate your own family issues. Don’t let the pain of estrangement hold you back. Allow God to assist you in healing, no matter what has happened within your family. Remember, there is always hope to be found, even when things seem to be falling apart.
Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite digital bookstore.
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