The Best Way to Change Your Husband Through Prayer

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Did you know you can change your husband? Yes, it is possible! You have to be patient though. It takes time. The best part is that you don’t have to say a word to him to see changes. You may wonder what is the secret sauce?

It is prayer.

Praying for your husband changes things. Really. No I mean, REALLY.

I know some of you might think this is the craziest thing you have ever read, but I dare you to try it. Pray for him for several months and see for yourself.

It will change your husband (and you). Things may get a little worse for a time period, but then you will start seeing breakthroughs.

I found the best way to pray is to use scripture and add his name into the verse.

You can’t go wrong by praying God’s word back to God. It will always be the truth. You will be shocked at how powerful your prayers are when you do this.

I started this about 10 years ago, and it literally changed my marriage and family. Here are some ideas of what and how to pray.

Related: How to Pray for Your Children

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The Best Way to Change Your Husband

Pray for His Safety and Protection

Lord, I thank you right now for my husband, _____.  I pray You would be with him wherever he goes. (Joshua 1:9) Protect him and keep him safe from harm. Keep him away from any kind of accident, sickness, or any other sort of destruction the evil one may have planned. I pray _______ would fear no evil as You are always with him, guiding him and directing him to a straight path. (Ps 23:4)

Give _____ discernment so as not to take any unnecessary risks or walk into a place of danger. Keep him safe from the enemy who is out to kill, steal, and destroy.  (John 10:10) May all plans be thwarted and canceled by whoever may wish to harm him. God, I ask for You to be his refuge and his strength, and ever-present help in trouble. (Ps 46:1)

Believe me, this kind of prayer will change your husband.

Related: The Best Way to Change Your Teen

Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart book.

 Purchase your ebook or paperback on Amazon or at your favorite digital store. 

Pray for Direction

Help my husband, ______, to lead me (and our family) in a direction that would be pleasing to You. Let him hear Your voice and be able to discern Your will for all of us. ( Jer. 33:3) I know it is easy to get distracted with all of the responsibilities that go with being a husband, father, and provider.

Show him how to juggle each responsibility with grace and wisdom knowing that You alone can lead him properly. I pray You would be his example as You are his Shepherd; leading him beside still waters. I ask for his soul to be refreshed. I pray goodness and mercy would follow him all the days of his life, and he would dwell in Your house forever. (Ps 23)

Related: 9 Shocking Reasons Why God Compares Us to Sheep

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Two gold wedding rings with flower in the background. Pray for His Job

I give my husband’s job to you. I know that he may not like everything about it, but I pray he would not be weary in doing good. (Gal 6:9) I ask that _______ would be tenacious and not give up. Bless everything he puts his hands on; may he reap a harvest in due season. (Gal. 6:9)

May ______ always give careful and close attention to his work, but not be out of balance where he is working too much. Help him not to be overbearing, short-tempered, or greedy. I also pray he would not have a propensity towards laziness.

Instill in my husband a desire to be hard-working, diligent, and responsible with everything he has been given to do. (Eccles. 9:10)  Thank you, God, for providing us with a stable income. If my husband is ever out of work, I pray you will quickly open doors for him to gain new employment.

God, I ask that if _______ is not in the right occupation, you will show him what he is to be doing. I know that you gave him gifts that are irrevocable. (Romans 11:29) Help him to use his gifts to serve you as well as others.

I pray nothing would be devoured, lost, or stolen from us. (1 Peter 5:8) I give everything we own to You, God. Help us to manage it wisely. I pray you would help us to be disciplined to give a tithe back to you so that we will be in complete obedience to your will. (Mal. 3:8-12)

Related: Can God Use a Horrible Failure or Loss?


Pray for Help in Trials

God, I know I cannot protect my husband from everything.  I do, however, pray for You to be there with _____ as he goes through trials. I pray he will cast his burdens on You, and that you will sustain him in times of trouble. (Psalms 55:2)

Help me to love, support, and pray for him daily. (Philippians 4:6-7) Show me how to be a godly wife and the kind of woman who is encouraging to him.

Even though _______ may be pressed on every side, show him he is not crushed. I pray he would not have a heart of despair. Help him to know that You will never abandon him in times of trouble. ( 2 Cor. 4:8-9) Thank you, God, that those who trust and seek you will not be forsaken. (Psalms 9:10) Praying these things will change your husband.

Related: Why Laughter in Marriage is Important

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The Best Way to Change Your Husband-Mom Remade-Have you tried to change your husband to no avail? Why not try a different tactic? Start praying for him. You don't even have to say a word to him. God knows and He will hear if you call to Him. #prayer #prayforhusband #changeyourhusband #change #marriage #wifeproblems #husband #changeyourmarriage

Pray He Will Be a Godly Husband

I ask that my husband would truly understand how to love me, and I would learn how to love him. (1 Cor 13) I pray we will follow all the principles you have set for us so that we will have a healthy and vibrant marriage. (Eph 5:22-33)

Help us to be quick to forgive each other so that things will not fester between us. (Eph. 4:32)

I pray _____ will seek You with a humble and teachable spirit. (Proverbs 15:33) Teach my husband how to truly be a godly husband and great leader in our marriage. Help me to be the kind of wife who will lovingly support him and not tear him down. (Prov. 31:10)

Related: Are You Caught in a Bad Relationship?

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Lighthouse in the background with a married couple walking hand and hand.

Accelerate the Change in Your Husband with the Triple Threat!

If you want to change your husband (and you) much faster then replace the nagging, berating, or manipulating for encouragement. Continue to pray and add encouragement.

For 30 days say only positive and encouraging things to him and about him publicly and privately. Nothing negative. Nada. 

I know this may be a struggle, but just close your mouth a breathe. Overlook the dirty socks he leaves on the floor, the dirty dishes in the sink, and anything else. Catch him doing good and jump on that! Say “thank you” for his efforts. (Don’t overlook abuse.)

Related: Marriage Problems: Critical Spirit 30-Day Challenge

Thirdly, start fasting. Skip a meal or two or three… and replace the time with prayer.

Fasting, prayer, and encouragement will change your marriage in amazing ways. It is the triple threat.

Doing any or all of these things will change the way you feel about your spouse. It will transfer over into your tone of voice, your non-verbals, and your spirit. And that is everything because he will notice something is different.

As you can see, heart change starts with you first. When it comes down to it, you can only change yourself.

I encourage you to try it. After all, what do you have to lose?

*You don’t have to use my prayers. You can go to the Bible and make your own prayers. Or check out these suggestions here. These are just ones to start with. Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of a Praying Wife is also a great resource.

What do you do to change your husband?


Book on Family Estrangement from a Biblical Point of View

Are you experiencing family problems? Perhaps you and a loved one are no longer speaking. Don’t go another day without reading this book. It addresses family problems and estrangement from a biblical point of view. Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart is on Amazon or in your favorite digital store. 

Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart book.

Get Creating Family Memories for FREE in exchange for your email. If you get this book, it will help you build a good relationship with your kids so that when the hard times come (teen years), you will be able to weather the storm.

Scroll down or look on the side to sign up. You can also get it at your favorite bookstore.

Facebook Group

Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Parenting and Family. This is a place for moms with preschool-age kids or older to talk about their struggles with parenting, family life, education, or marriage. You will find biblically-based advice from other moms who want to raise godly kids.

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Julie Plagens


  1. Pray for Me on April 12, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    So why do wives always have to be the ones to lift up the husbands when they hurt us. It’s not physical but stop playing mind games. My husband and I are hanging by a thread and it’s super hard for me to have to be his uplifting, encouraging love and kind wife. He doesnt do the things I need him to do as my husband. Living in hard dark place. Please pray for me.

    Pray for me

    • Julie Plagens on April 12, 2019 at 2:59 pm

      I totally hear you. Prayer is not a form of weakness. It is a form of strength. You are calling on the armies of God to intervene in your situation. My question to you, “Is what you’re doing working?” My guess is you are caught in a vicious cycle of anger, silence, retribution, miscommunication, power struggles, selfishness, etc. If you are tired of that way, drive a stake in the ground and say “enough.”

      You can only change yourself. You can not change your husband. But prayer will change him because it changes your attitude toward him. When you change, you force the other person to change. Prayer doesn’t mean you can’t set boundaries, ask appropriately for things, confront bad behavior, or be a doormat. Try it for 30 days and see what happens. You don’t have much to lose at this point.

      Also, when you start praying, the Holy Spirit will convict you of bad behavior. Once you stop, all the attention has to go on his bad behavior.

      I used the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O’Martian, and it changed my marriage. I totally recommend it. I also recommend marriage counseling to help you get some tools to deal with your spouse. Even if you just go, it will help. It would be better if he goes too, but many guys won’t do it.

      I am not sure where you are in your faith walk, but if you don’t know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, praying for your husband will be hard. You need the power of the Holy Spirit to do something so unnatural. It goes against everything your flesh says to do.

      I am praying for you right now. I am praying today will be the day you change the trajectory of your marriage. Thanks for reaching out.

  2. Erin on March 12, 2019 at 3:46 pm

    I love this so much! Prayer is so powerful! It changes my heart toward my husband so much when I pray for him. I begin to see him as Jesus does, and that is half the battle.

    • Julie Plagens on March 23, 2019 at 1:17 pm

      Erin, yes, this is half the battle to see your husband as Jesus does. He loves him even more than you. I can’t believe how much my attitude changed when I started praying for him. I probably changed more than him. Ha!

  3. Cayla Embry on January 7, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    This post is everything I needed and more! It is so important to pray for your husband, and lately I don’t feel like I’ve been praying as much and as detailed enough as I should. You’ve given me ideas and the motivation to truly pray deeply for him. Thank you!

    • Julie Plagens on January 25, 2019 at 2:09 am

      Cayla, I am so glad this was a meaningful post. Praying for your husband is the best way to change your marriage. When you pray for him, it softens your heart, too. Thanks for reading.

  4. Margaret Westhoff on January 4, 2019 at 8:19 am

    I think everyone could use prayers, and husbands are no exception. That’s for sharing some examples of how I can start praying for my husband daily.

    • Julie Plagens on January 25, 2019 at 2:10 am

      Yes, we all can use prayers. I am always shocked when I hear people say they don’t need prayer because it doesn’t do any good. I can’t tell you how many things have changed because I prayed. Thanks for your comment.

  5. Emily A. Sullivan on January 3, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    I most definitely needed to read this today! I’m dealing with some struggles in my marriage. I know that praying for him is the real solution and I’ve been very uncertain about how to pray for him. This helps! Majorly!

    • Julie Plagens on January 25, 2019 at 2:12 am

      Emily, I am so sorry about your struggles. You are not alone. We all experience this at one time or another. You will be amazed at what happens when you start praying for your husband. Thanks for your comment

  6. Cynthia on January 3, 2019 at 10:37 am

    Great reminder and tips on praying for our husbands. Sometimes we get so caught up in being MOM that we totally forget that we not only need to cover our kids in prayer but our husbands as well. It’s happened to me before.

    • Julie Plagens on January 25, 2019 at 2:13 am

      Cynthia, this is so true. I think our husbands sometimes get put on the back burner because they can take care of themselves. We are so emotionally tied to our kids that we forget our husband needs support too. Thanks for your comment.

  7. Veronica on December 21, 2018 at 12:24 am

    Wow…such a powerful reminder to us wives…to pray..just pray and see God do the fighting for us…and answer us with exceedling and abundant above results…..God bless you and your family and your ministry…

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:39 pm

      Veronica, yes, this is such a powerful reminder to pray for our husband. I am living proof that this works. I have seen my husband change in so many ways. And it changed me. My heart changed when I started praying.

  8. Becca Wilson on December 17, 2018 at 8:13 am

    This is such a powerful post. Praying for direction is probably one of the best things up here!

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:41 pm

      Becca, I think it must be hard to lead a family in the right direction. It is so important to pray for discernment as this affects the whole family. Thanks for your comment.

  9. Cindy Gordon on December 16, 2018 at 10:54 pm

    The strongest relationships can be forged like this. I know many people who have been saved this way.

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:43 pm

      Cindy, prayer changes things. I have seen it work over and over again. I have started praying for all sorts of issues. I know that God hears me and He answers in His time.

  10. Melissa Cushing on December 16, 2018 at 11:43 am

    I truly enjoyed this fabulous post and I agree with so many of your thoughts on relationships. I honestly believe everyone needs to add a bit more spirituality to every aspect of their lives. I truly enjoyed this and am sharing… thank you!

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:45 pm

      Melissa, thanks. I know there are many things you can do to improve a marriage, but prayer has got to be the number one thing you can do for your husband. I can’t tell you how much it changed my marriage. God truly heard my prayers and changed the way we do things.

  11. Cindy Ingalls on December 16, 2018 at 2:59 am

    Yelling and nagging don’t work on anyone. If you want someone to change to have to use love and understanding and kindness.

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:46 pm

      Cindy, that is so true. Love goes a long way. When there is a stronghold, prayer can change things when love isn’t moving things forward. Thanks for your comment.

  12. Kelli A on December 15, 2018 at 9:57 am

    Learning to think about others with positive intentions helps not only you see them differently, but sometimes helps them to see their selves differently.

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:48 pm

      Yes, thinking about your spouse in a positive light really helps. Prayer is that one thing that can change your heart when nothing else will. I think prayer changed me too. I am so glad I learned to do it years ago.

  13. Yaa Attobrah on December 14, 2018 at 11:34 pm

    Thank you Julie. Very well written and insightful. I am going to do this. God bless you.

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:49 pm

      I am so glad you this was insightful. Prayer can change your spouse. And it will change you too.

  14. Brianne on December 14, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    I think this is a better alternative than yelling or complaining. It certainly opens ones eyes to alternative methods.

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:50 pm

      Yes, yelling and complaining don’t work long term. It may make everyone act good for a while but it is not sustainable. Prayer changes hearts. It is a more long-term solution.

  15. Preeti Chauhan on December 14, 2018 at 8:41 am

    You just reflected my thoughts – I too feel that you can only pray for a person when you truly love them and praying unconditionally will also strengthen your bond with them.

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:51 pm

      Pretti, absolutely. Prayer is one of the most loving things you can do for your spouse. I am so glad you see how it will also strengthen the bond.

  16. Edith on December 14, 2018 at 5:25 am

    Praying is an act of love. It certainly works better than nagging. I like the idea of praying with scripture and inserting one’s husband’s name. A beautiful and personal touch.

    • Julie Plagens on December 27, 2018 at 10:54 pm

      Edith, adding your spouse’s name is one of the most effective ways to change things in your family and marriage. It is so personal. It will change the way you think about your spouse too.

  17. Jessie on December 11, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    I love how you say it may get worse before it gets better. This totally happened with me, and I’m convinced now it was the enemy trying to interfere. Jokes on him! ?

    • Julie Plagens on December 13, 2018 at 9:28 pm

      Jessie, I am so glad you kept on praying. I think it is easy to get discouraged when things get worse. Often things need to fall apart so they can be rebuilt God’s way.

  18. Jen @ Jenron Designs on December 9, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    Very nice post, these are very nice prayers to include daily for my husband and others.

    • Julie Plagens on December 13, 2018 at 9:37 pm

      Thanks for commenting. I appreciate your thoughts.

  19. Katie on December 9, 2018 at 6:09 am

    This is a very thought-provoking list and way to provide focus to an issue many couples experience.

    • Julie Plagens on December 13, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      I am so glad this has made you think about more spiritual things.

  20. Madi Rowan on December 8, 2018 at 6:43 pm

    These are such beautiful prayers. Praying for your spouse or significant other can be one of the best things you do for the relationship!

    -Madi xo

    • Julie Plagens on December 13, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      I am so glad you agree with this. Prayer changes things. It is not about controlling your husband, but releasing him to God.

  21. Tren on December 8, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    I love this. I read (often) The Power of A Praying Wife. At the same time, a person have to want the change. He/she has to be building the relationship w God and trust His plan.

    • Julie Plagens on December 13, 2018 at 9:35 pm

      Tren, I am so glad you are a fan of this book. She introduced me to what prayer really looks like.

  22. Susan Evans on December 8, 2018 at 10:48 am

    “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,” 1 Peter 3:1 The key is silence and asking God to place peaceful graciousness on your face regardless of the horrible circumstances.

    • Julie Plagens on December 13, 2018 at 9:34 pm

      It is important to express how his behavior is affecting you and possibly others, but there comes a time when there is nothing left to do but pray. I definitely do try to communicate first before I start storming the gates of heaven.
      I’m especially not one for silence if there is abuse in the relationship as this is not healthy.

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