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Do you want to know how to change your husband without saying a word?

Yes, it is possible! You have to be patient, though.

I know it’s hard to believe you don’t have to say anything, but what I tell you really works.

So, what is the secret sauce?

If you want to know how to change your husband, then start praying.

No, I mean, REALLY START PRAYING.

Some of you might think seeing change just from prayer is impossible, but I dare you to try it. Pray for him for several months and see for yourself.

It will change your husband (and you).

I found the best way to pray for your husband is to use scripture and add his name to the verse.

You can’t go wrong by praying God’s word back to God. It will always be the truth. You will be shocked at how powerful your prayers are when you do this.

I started this about 15 years ago, and it changed my marriage and family.

Here are some great tips to get you started.

RELATED: 29 Creative Ways to Pray (When You Don’t Feel Like Praying)

Can Your Prayer Change Your Husband?

Changing another person, including your husband, through prayer is not about manipulating or controlling him, but rather about seeking guidance, healing, and transformation for both yourself and your relationship.

If you are unsure how to start praying, here are a few prayers below that can also be downloaded as a printable PDF.

1. Pray for His Safety and Protection

Lord, I thank you right now for my husband, _____.  I pray You would be with him wherever he goes. (Joshua 1:9) Protect him and keep him safe from harm. Keep him away from any kind of accident, sickness, or any other sort of destruction the evil one may have planned. I pray _______ would fear no evil as You are always with him, guiding him and directing him to a straight path. (Ps 23:4)

Give _____ discernment so as not to take any unnecessary risks or walk into a place of danger. Keep him safe from the enemy who is out to kill, steal, and destroy.  (John 10:10) May all plans be thwarted and canceled by whoever may wish to harm him. God, I ask for You to be his refuge and his strength and an ever-present help in trouble. (Ps 46:1)

Believe me, this kind of prayer is how to change your husband.

RELATED: Christian Marriage Advice: 10 Best Tips For a Christ-Centered Marriage

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Get your FREE CONFLICT RESOLUTION PDF to help you and your spouse work through difficult problems.

2. Pray for Direction

Help my husband, ______, to lead me (and our family) in a direction that would be pleasing to You. Let him hear Your voice and be able to discern Your will for all of us. ( Jer. 33:3) I know it is easy to get distracted by all of the responsibilities that go with being a husband, father, and provider.

Show him how to juggle each responsibility with grace and wisdom, knowing that You alone can lead him properly. I pray You would be his example as You are his Shepherd; leading him beside still waters. Let his soul be refreshed. I pray goodness and mercy would follow him all the days of his life, and he would dwell in Your house forever. (Ps 23)

See also  29 Creative Ways to Pray That Are Epic

This is how to change your husband through prayer.

RELATED: 9 Shocking Reasons Why God Compares us to Sheep

3. Pray for His Job

I give my husband’s job to you. I know he may not like everything about it, but I pray he will not be weary of doing good. (Gal 6:9) I ask that _______ be tenacious and not give up. Bless everything he puts his hands on; may he reap a harvest in due season. (Gal. 6:9)

May ______ always give careful and close attention to his work, but not be out of balance because he works too much. Help him not to be overbearing, short-tempered, or greedy. I also pray he will not have a propensity for laziness.

Instill in my husband a desire to be hard-working, diligent, and responsible for everything he has been given to do (Ecclesiastes 9:10). Thank you, God, for providing us with a stable income. If my husband is ever out of work, I pray you will quickly open doors for him to gain new employment.

God, I ask that if _______ is not in a suitable occupation, you will show him what he is to be doing. I know that you gave him irrevocable gifts. (Romans 11:29) Help him use his gifts to serve you and others.

I pray nothing will be devoured, lost, or stolen from us. (1 Peter 5:8) I give everything we own to You, God. Please help us to manage it wisely. I pray you would help us be disciplined to give a tithe back to you so that we will completely obey your will. (Mal. 3:8-12)

RELATED: War Room Prayer Strategy: 7 Tips to Pray Powerful Prayers

4. Pray for Help in Trials

God, I know I cannot protect my husband from everything.  However, I pray for You to be there with _____ as he goes through trials. I pray he will cast his burdens on You and that You will sustain him in times of trouble. (Psalms 55:2)

Help me to love, support, and pray for him daily. (Philippians 4:6-7) Show me how to be a godly wife and the kind of woman who encourages him.

Even though _______ may be pressed on every side, show him he is not crushed. I pray he would not have a heart of despair. Help him to know that You will never abandon him in times of trouble. ( 2 Cor. 4:8-9) Thank you, God, that those who trust and seek you will not be forsaken. (Psalms 9:10)

Praying these things is how to change your husband.

RELATED:  The #1 Secret to a Happy Marriage Is Not What You Think

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5. Pray He Will Be a Godly Husband

I ask that my husband genuinely understand how to love me, and I will learn how to love him. (1 Cor 13) I pray we will follow all the principles you have set for us to have a healthy and vibrant marriage. (Eph 5:22-33)

See also  How to Stop Yelling As a Parent: 9 Secrets Exposed

Help us quickly forgive each other so things will not fester. (Eph. 4:32)

I pray _____ will seek You with a humble and teachable spirit. (Proverbs 15:33) Teach my husband how to be a godly husband and a great leader in our marriage. Help me be the kind of wife who will lovingly support and not tear him down. (Prov. 31:10)

*You don’t have to use my prayers. You can go to the Bible and make your prayers. These are just the ones to start with right now. Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of a Praying Wife is also a great resource.

RELATED: How to End a Toxic Relationship For Good: 3 Ways to Get Out

What to Do When Your Husband Won’t Change

So, you have been praying for several weeks and don’t see a difference. Things are worse than ever.

This kind of spiritual warfare is not a one-and-done. You have to keep fighting in the spiritual realm.

You should expect things to get a little worse before they get better. (Yikes!)

God seems to answer prayers by allowing everything to fall apart first. God usually works only after we are completely broken. Until then, pride gets in the way.

If your husband won’t change, add these three things to the mix:

  • Encourage your husband

Your marriage will improve much faster if you will replace the nagging, berating, or manipulating with encouragement. Continue to pray and add encouragement.

For 30 days, say only positive and encouraging things about him publicly and privately.

Nothing negative. Nada.

This may be a struggle, but close your mouth and breathe.

Overlook the dirty socks he leaves on the floor, the dirty dishes in the sink, and anything else.

Instead, catch him doing good and jump on that! Say “thank you” for his efforts. (Don’t overlook abuse!)

RELATED: 5 Reasons to Forgive Those Who Hurt You (Even If They Don’t Deserve It)

  •   Fast specifically for your marriage

If you don’t see any change or it’s getting worse, it’s time to pull out the big guns.

It’s time to fast.

Skip a meal or two or three and replace the time with prayer. If you can’t skip meals, do a sugar fast.

Another idea is a media fast.

I usually start seeing breakthroughs when I fast somewhere between 24-48 hours. I know this is a long time, but it moves things.

If you don’t see movement, fast again in another week.

Keep doing this until there is some positive movement. Don’t give up. This is war!

  • Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for healing and transformation. Pray for the strength to forgive and let go of past hurts for yourself and your husband. Holding onto resentment and grudges only hinders progress in a relationship.

Doing all these things will change how you feel about your spouse. It will transfer over into your tone of voice, your nonverbals, and your spirit. And that is everything because he will notice something is different and, in turn, react differently.

See also  50 Fun School Readiness Skills Your Preschooler Will Love [Checklist]

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how to change your husband without saying a word text. Husband and wife have their hands on the bible.

How Can I Change My Husband Towards Me?

Remember that changing someone else is ultimately beyond your control. However, by focusing on your growth, fostering open communication, prayer, fasting, and forgiveness. you can create an environment conducive to positive change in your relationship.

By changing yourself, you change him. He can no longer behave the same way because your new responses have broken the dysfunctional cycle.

As you can see, heart change starts with you first. It is a shocker, but you are half of the equation. Don’t forget to download the FREE conflict resolution guide to help you set boundaries and fight fairly. There is a balance between prayer and boundaries.

I encourage you to try these tips. After all, what do you have to lose?

Did you get any meaningful tips on how to change your husband? If so, please tell me what you do in the comment section. 

Are You Struggling to Have a Healthy Marriage? Do You Want to Change Your Spouse?

Get Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love on Amazon or any digital platform. This book is filled with humorous and impactful insights for anyone experiencing marriage conflict.

Included is biblical advice to help couples develop new behaviors and strengthen their marriage with healthy boundaries. With over 30 years of marriage experience, there are practical tips to overcome old patterns of behavior and rekindle a marriage relationship rooted in God’s love.

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Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you struggling with family issues that have resulted in a family rift or a family estrangement? Are you feeling a sense of shame, anger, or rejection?  Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.

In it, I share my own experience of a seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and how we eventually reconciled. Furthermore, I provide practical advice to help you navigate your family issues. Don’t let the pain of estrangement hold you back.

Allow God to assist you in healing, no matter what has happened within your family. Remember, there is always hope to be found, even when things seem to be falling apart.

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Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family so you have more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule, too. You can get it at your favorite digital bookstore.

Join the group Christian Family Living on Facebook

Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the Christian Family Living group. This is a place for Christian women to freely talk about parenting, marriage, faith, family, and culture. Being a Christian is hard! Let’s do it together. Most of all, a sense of humor is required. Got memes? Bring it on!

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Julie is a wife, mom, teacher, author, and blogger. She writes about Christian family living, marriage, parenting with a touch of humor.

66 Comments

  1. Josephine Abena Dwuma Reply

    Thank you very much knowing that is best to pray in line with scriptures for my husband than to talk will help me

    • I definitely recommend good communication between husband and wife. But there are some things that are not going to move without prayer, especially if it has been entrenched for a long time. We all bring in baggage from our childhood, and it seems to work okay when we are kids. Unfortunately, it does not work well as an adult. We are now fully accountable for our behaviors. Unforgiveness, addictions, anger, pouting, the silent treatment, denial, etc. can all play a part in wreaking havoc on those we love. Prayer has a way moving things out of our hands into God’s He does a marvelous job dealing with it. Be aware, when you pray for God to move, many times that means a trial. Keep praying through it!

  2. Praying for our husbands is so important. I absolutely loved this and will apply it! Thank you for sharing!

    • Felicia, I hope this will help your marriage. Sometimes it is hard to pray when you are angry, but it is the best time to see God work. May God bless you.

    • Rosemary. Anikata Reply

      Thankyou Felicia for sharing this prayers. Our Lovely Heavenly Father is so Awesome and He sees every hurts and break down of our Hearts. I really needed this prayers to help my husband and my marriage and He brought me into Pinterest. Thankyou once again my Heavenly Father,How Great You are. I want to follow you in pinterest, Felicia. Thankyou.

      • Thank you so much for your sweet comment! Praying for your husband is the very best thing you can do to turn your marriage around. Sometimes things break apart when you pray so don’t get discouraged. That is God’s way of bringing you both to Him because you realize you can’t do it on your own.

  3. Julie, these are blessed and beautiful prayers. Praying for our husbands is one of the best things wives can do for the relationship. It is because of praying together that my husband and I now have a prayer ministry we run together. God bless you.

    • Lisa Marie, what a great thing that you learned. Prayer is huge for your marriage. And a prayer ministry to boot! Wow. It really works, huh? How to Change Your Husband With These 5 Powerful Prayers is one of the best posts to tell you how to do it!

      • Thankyou I appreciate you sharing these prayers with me.I don’t know what made me look on Pinterest tonight but I’m happy I did and I will say these prayers moving forward.Thankyou again God bless you and your family sister🙏🏽😊

  4. I love that you included prayers that we can recite daily to help us speak positivity in our husband’s life. One thing I’ve learned in my two years of marriage is that I must first change myself before I can try to change my husband. Thanks so much for this.

    • Kayla, I have found prayer to be the only thing that really works. God can move in ways we never thought possible if we will seek him daily.

  5. So why do wives always have to be the ones to lift up the husbands when they hurt us. It’s not physical but stop playing mind games. My husband and I are hanging by a thread and it’s super hard for me to have to be his uplifting, encouraging love and kind wife. He doesnt do the things I need him to do as my husband. Living in hard dark place. Please pray for me.

    Pray for me

    • Hi,
      I totally hear you. Prayer is not a form of weakness. It is a form of strength. You are calling on the armies of God to intervene in your situation. My question to you, “Is what you’re doing working?” My guess is you are caught in a vicious cycle of anger, silence, retribution, miscommunication, power struggles, selfishness, etc. If you are tired of that way, drive a stake in the ground and say “enough.”

      You can only change yourself. You can not change your husband. But prayer will change him because it changes your attitude toward him. When you change, you force the other person to change. Prayer doesn’t mean you can’t set boundaries, ask appropriately for things, confront bad behavior, or be a doormat. Try it for 30 days and see what happens. You don’t have much to lose at this point.

      Also, when you start praying, the Holy Spirit will convict you of bad behavior. Once you stop, all the attention has to go on his bad behavior.

      I used the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O’Martian, and it changed my marriage. I totally recommend it. I also recommend marriage counseling to help you get some tools to deal with your spouse. Even if you just go, it will help. It would be better if he goes too, but many guys won’t do it.

      I am not sure where you are in your faith walk, but if you don’t know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, praying for your husband will be hard. You need the power of the Holy Spirit to do something so unnatural. It goes against everything your flesh says to do.

      I am praying for you right now. I am praying today will be the day you change the trajectory of your marriage. Thanks for reaching out.

      • Martha Turner Reply

        Thank you my God bless you. I love it and help me a lot and my marriage my situation it was to much a domestic abuses and the day I star to pray by scripture of Lord God I see different evere day my Lord love you and me.
        Thank again.

        • Martha, I am so sorry about your situation. Praying is definitely important, but please remember that sometimes you have to protect yourself if there is domestic abuse. Your physical safety is important and your children’s, if you have them. If you have somewhere else to go, consider it until he gets help. And definitely keep praying!

    • I’m praying for you extra hard because I have been where you have been. I was utterly disgusted that I had to pray and lift him up, because I was the one trying and he was the problem. He was just horrible…. not abusive, just not a great husband. I was mad, hurt, and it angered me even more that I was supposed to smile and pray and lift him up. But I did it. The first few days confused him. He even got more rude and asked what I was up to lol! I told him I was not fighting anymore and that I was praying for him and us. He said nothing would help us. Not even God. He hated me. I just said ok, love you and walked away. I wanted to hit him with my cast iron skillet!! By the next week he was beginning to soften. He was nicer, and apologized for some of the horrible things he had said before. I said it was in the past. I apologized too and told him I loved him and I was always praying for him. By the next week, he was asking me to go with him to different places and to just ride around looking at the jobsites he had worked on. I told him he was the best at everything and that I admired him…. I realized I really did and we had grown closer. I told him he was like my best friend. He told me I was his. At the end of the month we were inseparable and our 3 children were even confused as to what happened. They asked me though lol. I just told them that’s what happens when you quit being mad and you let go of the situations you can’t control. You give it to God because He’s already in control of your situation anyways. He doesn’t need me in His way trying to do things my way. Let go and let go. You can do this. I’ve been married 21 years. I married him when I was 15 and he was 17. We had our baby when I was in the tenth grade. He worked, I went to school and got associates degree in nursing. God has carried us the whole way. Prayer is the most powerful thing! Love you and praying for you, your husband, and your marriage. Don’t give up!!!

      • What a fabulous story! Thank you so much for sharing this Beth. Prayer is so powerful. It may take some time for things to kick in, but prayer is the most powerful way to change your husband. Like I have said before, you still have to communicate, set boundaries, and function as a married couple, but adding prayer to your marriage is amazing. Thanks for commenting!

      • I’m moved to tears. I feel this in my soul. We too have been together 21 years, highschool sweethearts, baby fresh out of highschool, now three kids, 16, 14 and 4. I went to school & work in radiology, he does construction. We been through so much and have always came out on top. Everyone always admired us and our relationship. We just all of sudden fell apart. We lost each other. I’m beginning to realize that I too am the issue. I’ve for reason stopped praising him, admiring him and respecting him. I belittle him all the time. All I see is what I don’t love and what pisses me off. I used to let things go and lift him up. I’ve become so stubborn lately and expect him to do all the lifting. We’ve both become depressed… Thanks covid ! He not a talker . Never about feelings. I’m just supposed to know or read his mind. Which I usually can but he also likes to play mind games and say hurtful things he doesn’t mean. This time he says he’s done. I have 30 days to move out. Does he really mean it?? Idk. Is this really what it’s come to? Part of me wants to just give up.. But the other part of me can’t imagine life without him. So I’m going to pray , so damn hard. And I’m going to be positive , respectful, uplifting and encouraging. I know now, I need to change in order for him follow and be the man, husband and father I know he can be and once was.

      • Smita Fernandes Reply

        Thank you for sharing this. I really need this. It’s so true that when nothing is in your control give it to God through prayer. It’s been few months we are going through tough time in our marriage. I requested if we can sit and resolve things but he replied he don’t want to see me and left. Through pray we will be together again by God’s grace. Amen

      • LaVaughn Faison Reply

        Praise God Sister Beth, I Thank God for you sharing your testimony. I need to read this and it came right on time. My husband and I are going through. I realize after reading your post. I needed God to work with me. It’s hard to pray for someone who don’t care and is verbally abusive. But I know there’s nothing to hard for the Lord. I have to learn to keep my eyes on the Lord. He will take care of my husband. Please keep me in your prayers. God Bless you all❤❤❤

  6. I love this so much! Prayer is so powerful! It changes my heart toward my husband so much when I pray for him. I begin to see him as Jesus does, and that is half the battle.

    • Erin, yes, this is half the battle to see your husband as Jesus does. He loves him even more than you. I can’t believe how much my attitude changed when I started praying for him. I probably changed more than him. Ha!

  7. This post is everything I needed and more! It is so important to pray for your husband, and lately I don’t feel like I’ve been praying as much and as detailed enough as I should. You’ve given me ideas and the motivation to truly pray deeply for him. Thank you!

    • Cayla, I am so glad this was a meaningful post. Praying for your husband is the best way to change your marriage. When you pray for him, it softens your heart, too. Thanks for reading.

  8. I think everyone could use prayers, and husbands are no exception. That’s for sharing some examples of how I can start praying for my husband daily.

    • Yes, we all can use prayers. I am always shocked when I hear people say they don’t need prayer because it doesn’t do any good. I can’t tell you how many things have changed because I prayed. Thanks for your comment.

  9. I most definitely needed to read this today! I’m dealing with some struggles in my marriage. I know that praying for him is the real solution and I’ve been very uncertain about how to pray for him. This helps! Majorly!

    • Emily, I am so sorry about your struggles. You are not alone. We all experience this at one time or another. You will be amazed at what happens when you start praying for your husband. Thanks for your comment

  10. Great reminder and tips on praying for our husbands. Sometimes we get so caught up in being MOM that we totally forget that we not only need to cover our kids in prayer but our husbands as well. It’s happened to me before.

    • Cynthia, this is so true. I think our husbands sometimes get put on the back burner because they can take care of themselves. We are so emotionally tied to our kids that we forget our husband needs support too. Thanks for your comment.

  11. Wow…such a powerful reminder to us wives…to pray..just pray and see God do the fighting for us…and answer us with exceedling and abundant above results…..God bless you and your family and your ministry…

    • Veronica, yes, this is such a powerful reminder to pray for our husband. I am living proof that this works. I have seen my husband change in so many ways. And it changed me. My heart changed when I started praying.

  12. Becca Wilson Reply

    This is such a powerful post. Praying for direction is probably one of the best things up here!

    • Becca, I think it must be hard to lead a family in the right direction. It is so important to pray for discernment as this affects the whole family. Thanks for your comment.

    • Cindy, prayer changes things. I have seen it work over and over again. I have started praying for all sorts of issues. I know that God hears me and He answers in His time.

  13. I truly enjoyed this fabulous post and I agree with so many of your thoughts on relationships. I honestly believe everyone needs to add a bit more spirituality to every aspect of their lives. I truly enjoyed this and am sharing… thank you!

    • Melissa, thanks. I know there are many things you can do to improve a marriage, but prayer has got to be the number one thing you can do for your husband. I can’t tell you how much it changed my marriage. God truly heard my prayers and changed the way we do things.

  14. Yelling and nagging don’t work on anyone. If you want someone to change to have to use love and understanding and kindness.

    • Cindy, that is so true. Love goes a long way. When there is a stronghold, prayer can change things when love isn’t moving things forward. Thanks for your comment.

  15. Learning to think about others with positive intentions helps not only you see them differently, but sometimes helps them to see their selves differently.

    • Yes, thinking about your spouse in a positive light really helps. Prayer is that one thing that can change your heart when nothing else will. I think prayer changed me too. I am so glad I learned to do it years ago.

  16. Yaa Attobrah Reply

    Thank you Julie. Very well written and insightful. I am going to do this. God bless you.

  17. I think this is a better alternative than yelling or complaining. It certainly opens ones eyes to alternative methods.

    • Yes, yelling and complaining don’t work long term. It may make everyone act good for a while but it is not sustainable. Prayer changes hearts. It is a more long-term solution.

  18. You just reflected my thoughts – I too feel that you can only pray for a person when you truly love them and praying unconditionally will also strengthen your bond with them.

    • Pretti, absolutely. Prayer is one of the most loving things you can do for your spouse. I am so glad you see how it will also strengthen the bond.

  19. Praying is an act of love. It certainly works better than nagging. I like the idea of praying with scripture and inserting one’s husband’s name. A beautiful and personal touch.

    • Edith, adding your spouse’s name is one of the most effective ways to change things in your family and marriage. It is so personal. It will change the way you think about your spouse too.

  20. I love how you say it may get worse before it gets better. This totally happened with me, and I’m convinced now it was the enemy trying to interfere. Jokes on him! ?

    • Jessie, I am so glad you kept on praying. I think it is easy to get discouraged when things get worse. Often things need to fall apart so they can be rebuilt God’s way.

  21. This is a very thought-provoking list and way to provide focus to an issue many couples experience.

    • I am so glad you agree with this. Prayer changes things. It is not about controlling your husband, but releasing him to God.

  22. I love this. I read (often) The Power of A Praying Wife. At the same time, a person have to want the change. He/she has to be building the relationship w God and trust His plan.

  23. “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,” 1 Peter 3:1 The key is silence and asking God to place peaceful graciousness on your face regardless of the horrible circumstances.

    • It is important to express how his behavior is affecting you and possibly others, but there comes a time when there is nothing left to do but pray. I definitely do try to communicate first before I start storming the gates of heaven.
      I’m especially not one for silence if there is abuse in the relationship as this is not healthy.

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