Would you like to pursue spiritual wholeness in your relationships?

Do you struggle with loving the difficult people in your world? God has designed us for community; we find blessing when we are in loving fellowship with one another. Yet, we are all broken people and prone to pursuing our own self-interest.

Jesus told us that the greatest commandments are to love God and one another (Matthew 22:36-40). We worship God and show him love, but how well do we show love to one another?

So how can we connect in meaningful ways and have spiritual wholeness that will enrich our lives and the lives of others?

Perhaps we need to start with ourselves to find spiritual wholeness. 

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Spiritual Wholeness: 6 Ways to Mend a Relationship

  • Don’t be Self-centered

Not everyone cares about our rants. People are probably not interested in having you talk through their movies. They might be annoyed if you are too busy playing with your phone to answer a question.

There are lots of behaviors that we fall into that lack compassion for the people around us.

Philippians 2:4 tells us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.

We can’t look to the interests of others without setting aside our needs to be the center of attention. There is much we can gain if we set aside our inward focus and tune into the lives of others. This is how to find spiritual wholeness. 

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  • Tune In

Put away your electronics and be present in the moment.

Give others the gift of your attentiveness.

When our eyes are distracted by electronics, we tell others in the room that they do not matter. What is on your phone is not more important than the people made in God’s image sitting next to you.

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When people right in front of you can’t get your attention, you are too distracted. Open your eyes to see what is happening in the space around you.

Listen carefully to catch the emotions that are being expressed. Quiet your thoughts to wonder about the experiences of others. This is one way to find spiritual wholeness in your relationships.

  • Be Non-judgmental

Being critical or judgmental is a fast way to shut down the conversation and lose the opportunity to connect meaningfully with others. Listen and understand another person’s point of view before jumping to a response or rebuttal.

There will be times for speaking the truth in love, but that should be after we have taken the time to engage and learn about how others have experienced the world.

  • Be Curious

It is easy to be self-absorbed and talk about our interests, but God has called us to “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Gal 6:2).

Put aside your self-focus to tune into the interests of others around you. Learn to ask questions to discover the passions and interests of those around you.

Ask people about how they are spending their time, learn where their passions lie, and discover what excites them.

Loving questions can bridge our differences and connect us. We share a common humanity as people fashioned by God and made in his image.

Learning about the lives of others helps us gain a better understanding of God and his love for his people.

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  • Be Teachable

Acting like you know everything or treating people with condescension is destructive to the health of relationships. As we live in community we have the opportunity to learn and grow from one another.

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Scripture tells us that we play a role in shaping one another in community as “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

Be open to the correctives that others offer to you. Be aware that we all have blind spots that others can help us to see and correct. Don’t dismiss the advice that others are brave enough to share with you.

Eye rolls and a closed posture will never help you learn and grow. Be willing to accept the instruction being offered and evaluate it to see what has merit.

Being defensive or dismissive will derail opportunities to learn and fracture relationships. We are healthier people if we are open to correction. This is a great way to find spiritual wholeness in your relationships. 

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spiritual wholeness. 6 ways to mend a broken relationship

  • Engage

James 2:26 reminds us that our faith is dead if it is not accompanied by actions. Look for ways to step into the lives of others and care for their needs. A listening ear or a helping hand shows others that they matter.

Compassion should always flow from our words and be echoed in our actions. Caring for one another helps us to align with God’s heart for showing compassion to the least of these (Matthew 25:31-46).

Jesus calls us to be sacrificial in demonstrating love for one another. We are called to live following the model set for us in Jesus’s person.

Let your actions speak love so that those around you encounter Jesus.

The truth is, we’ve all been failed by someone in our relationships. As you seek health and spiritual wholeness in your life, we offer you access to our free Family Fire ebook Forgiveness: A Guide to Relationship Repair.

We hope this guide provides you with resources to develop the essential skill of forgiveness.

This is a guest post by Deb Koster, producer of Family Fire. Family Fire is a Christian ministry committed to fanning the flames of the Holy Spirit in our family relationships. Thank you, Deb, for your contribution to Mom Remade. 

How do you restore spiritual wholeness when mending a relationship? Comment below.

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Is Your Marriage Struggling? Do You Want to Change Your Spouse?

Get Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love on Amazon or any digital platform. This book is filled with both humorous and impactful insights for anyone experiencing marriage conflict.

Included is biblical advice to help couples develop new behaviors and strengthen their marriage with healthy boundaries. With over 30 years of marriage experience, there are practical tips to not only overcome old patterns of behavior but also rekindle a marriage relationship that is rooted in God’s love.

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Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you experiencing family problems or have a family estrangement? Do you feel shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store. 

This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement (and reconciliation) from my Christian family but also gives solid tips to help you with your family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.

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Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids.  It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite digital bookstore.

Join the group Christian Family Living on Facebook

Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Family Living. This is a place for Christian women to freely talk about parenting, marriage, faith, family, and culture. Being a Christian is hard! Let’s do it together. Most of all, a sense of humor is required. Got memes? Bring it on!

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Julie is a wife, mom, teacher, author, and blogger. She writes about Christian family living, marriage, parenting with a touch of humor.


    • I think we tend to get busy and forget how our actions affect others. But God can redeem that no matter what has happened.

  1. These are such great tips. I think the hardest one sometime is to be teachable. Many times we think we know it all, when really we all can learn a few things just by being open to learning from one another

    • This one concept can erase years of pain and heartache. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to take the field trip to learn. God can redeem it no matter how it happens.

  2. I love this post! A lot of times we have to check ourselves – are we truly “being there” for our friends and family? And by that I mean, are we truly present in the moment? Life can be crazy busy and that leaves us in a constant mode of distraction. This is where we have to consciously make that extra effort and set aside the distractions. I have found it is truly helpful to be full out honest – If I’m distracted then I say so and I make time for them that I can give them undistracted attention.

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