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Faith and marriage. Is there any real connection between the two? Is faith that important for a married couple?

The short answer is a resounding “Yes!” Faith is so important it can save you from a divorce.

What you and your spouse think and believe about God will directly impact your relationship.

Many people don’t take the time to figure this out until they are married. And then they spend most of their married life treating each other poorly because they do not have the Holy Spirit convicting them of bad behavior.

In this post, we will discuss why faith and marriage are inseparable, the impact faith has on your relationship, and how faith in God can save you from a divorce.

RELATED: Christian Marriage Advice: 10 Best Tips For a Christ-Centered Marriage

Why Is Faith Important In Marriage?

So why is faith important? Faith impacts your life in every way, even if you don’t have faith. Your morals and values will be at the core of how you treat your spouse.

The Holy Spirit is the only one who can help you love deeply with a covenant love, not a contractual love.

Even if you and your spouse do have faith, things can eventually get messy if you don’t practice biblical values and listen to God.

Therefore, the sooner you and your spouse get on the same page, the better. Otherwise, you are going to have some difficult days ahead of you.

Ask why faith and marriage are essential now instead of after the wedding.

Here’s a biblical verse about faith and marriage: “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”(2 Cor. 6:14).

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What Does Faith Mean In a Marriage?

Faith is a belief system in God that includes biblical values. It impacts our lives in every area, including our work ethic, what we say, how we behave daily, and more. Faith is crucial when it comes to how we treat our spouse.

Here are four ways faith and marriage intersect in your life. Only one of them puts Jesus at the center of your marriage.

1. God is my servant

Perhaps you have been told that if you believe in God, all of your problems will go away, and you will get whatever you pray for.

You expect the same thing from your spouse. It’s all about you and your needs. Everything revolves around what you feel, think, and want.

Your marriage is not a team. There isn’t much room for the other person (or Jesus). Basically, you are selfish.

Impact on faith and marriage:

If you carry this belief system into your marriage, you will probably spend an enormous amount of time trying to meet your needs instead of serving your spouse.

Over time, you will be frustrated because neither God nor your spouse has met all your needs. One day, you will wake up realizing you are surrounded by many things, but you are dissatisfied and empty.

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You will look at your spouse as disappointed, not realizing two people are in the marriage, not just you. Faith and marriage have two common denominators: they both require a servant’s heart.

2. God is rules, not a relationship

Perhaps you think believing in God is more about rules than a relationship. You believe He exists but don’t understand His love and grace. Instead, you default to control.

You are constantly angry when your spouse breaks the rules, but you overlook your own sins. Additionally, you judge harshly; perhaps you are even critical. You find it hard to forgive or encourage your spouse.

Instead, you tear down your spouse, not realizing that you are tearing yourself down because you are one.

Impact on faith and marriage:

Your legacy will be more about unforgiveness, a critical spirit, and maybe even a broken relationship.

If you do stay together, you may find yourself constantly nit-picking each other and not feeling safe.

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. It is based on constant encouragement and positivity. It’s not that you don’t address problems; it’s that you approach them as a team with grace and truth.

RELATED: The #1 Secret to a Long Happy Marriage Is Not What You Think

3. God is disengaged or doesn’t exist

You are angry about difficult situations that have happened to you, your spouse, or others. Perhaps you believe a loving God would never allow suffering.

You do not understand real love means allowing free will, even if that means hard things happen. ( Satan is a controller, which is the opposite of love.)

You will not know how to truly love because you are not connected to a loving God.

The truth is that only by being in a relationship with God are you empowered to love others, including your spouse.

RELATED: Why Does God Allow Suffering? 5 Reasons Your Suffering Matters to God

Impact on faith and marriage:

Lack of faith and isolation from God translates into a marriage without direction. You are your own God.

It’s more about following your rules, with anger at the core of your belief system. Eventually, your marriage will become a moral vacuum, leaving little room for real unity, intimacy, or committed love.

Your family legacy will be one of heartache.

If you are not connected to something greater than yourself, you will not be able to truly love your spouse without first accepting God’s love.

RELATED: 9 Positive Character Traits For Kids to Succeed at School

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4. God is Lord and Savior

The best choice for you and your spouse is to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and practice His commandments. It is not easy to reach this point in a marriage.

Usually, we try everything else before we humble ourselves before God and give up striving. It doesn’t feel natural to put our hands down and let Him guide our actions.

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Yet, this is what he asks. He wants us to give our lives to Him so He can transform us into His image.

It requires leaning into the Holy Spirit to serve, forgive, and deeply love. This is how faith and marriage are connected.

Impact on faith and marriage:

Faith in God translates into a healthy marriage. It’s about lovingly instilling biblical morals and values in your relationships.  This philosophy creates a deep love between couples and an overall feeling of security.

This doesn’t mean you don’t act selfishly, struggle to forgive, or put your spouse first. It means the Holy Spirit will redirect you back to the right path and help you make amends when you have failed.

And then you can start loving the right way again.

If you follow Jesus, your legacy will be one of healthy relationships built on something greater than yourself.

You will pass down a heart of forgiveness that flows freely through your marriage and family system. Most of all, grace will abound.

If you want faith and marriage, you must practice this pattern of forgiveness and restoration.

RELATED: 5 Reasons to Forgive Those Who Hurt You (Even If They Don’t Deserve It)

How Do You Apply Faith in Marriage?

Faith is not simply believing in God; it requires action. When you follow God, your behavior changes. You no longer want to act in a sinful way. In a healthy marriage, you want to treat your spouse with kindness, love, and forgiveness.

If you are not at the point of believing in God, I suggest you start somewhere. Read the book of John in the Bible so faith and marriage are a part of your life.

Then, start a conversation with your spouse. Ask why faith and marriage are essential. It is better to be proactive than reactive.

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faith and marriageWhy Is Faith Important In Relationships?

Faith and marriage aren’t just important; faith is essential in all your relationships, especially parenting.

You need an extraordinary kind of love to deal with kids. More importantly, they are watching you.

How you love them will be more important than anything else in their lives. The love of Jesus poured out onto them is way more powerful than anything else you can give.

Are you ready to trade in your raggedy old sinful nature and love your spouse and family with a pure love that supersedes your capability? Allow the everlasting love of Jesus to flow through you, and learn to love in a new way.

Here’s a faith and marriage prayer:

Here’s a sample prayer you can use as a starting point, but feel free to personalize it to your own beliefs and circumstances:

Dear Lord,

We come before you today with hearts full of gratitude for the gift of faith and marriage. We thank you for the partner you have brought into our lives, the journey we’ve embarked on together, and the many blessings we have experienced.

As we navigate the challenges and joys of married life, we ask for your guidance and wisdom. Grant us the strength to maintain and grow our faith, not only in you but also in each other. Help us to remember that marriage is a sacred covenant, a reflection of the love and commitment You have for us.

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Lord, we pray for the faith to trust in your divine plan for our marriage, even when we face difficulties and uncertainties. Give us the patience to serve each other, the empathy to support one another, and the grace to forgive when needed. Help us to communicate openly and honestly, always seeking to build each other up.

May our marriage be a source of joy, love, and inspiration to those around us. We ask for your blessing, protection, and provision in our marriage. Keep our hearts connected, our love enduring, and our faith unwavering.

In Jesus’ name we pray,

Amen

RELATED: 15 Biblical Keys To a Successful Marriage That Are Powerful

Check out FamilyLife Today for more marriage tips.

Why are faith and marriage important to you? Comment below.  Are You Struggling to Have a Healthy Marriage? Do You Want to Change Your Spouse?

Get Marriage Interrupted: How to Deal with Unexpected Conflict as a Couple and Stay in Love on Amazon or any digital platform. This book is filled with humorous and impactful insights for anyone experiencing marriage conflict.

Included is biblical advice to help couples develop new behaviors and strengthen their marriage with healthy boundaries. With over 30 years of marriage experience, there are practical tips to overcome old patterns of behavior and rekindle a marriage relationship rooted in God’s love.

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Got Family Problems? There is Help and Hope!

Are you struggling with family issues that have resulted in a family rift or a family estrangement? Are you feeling a sense of shame, anger, or rejection?  Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.

In it, I share my own experience of a seven-year estrangement from my Christian family and how we eventually reconciled. Furthermore, I provide practical advice to help you navigate your own family issues. Don’t let the pain of estrangement hold you back.

Allow God to assist you in healing, no matter what has happened within your family. Remember, there is always hope to be found, even when things seem to be falling apart.

A farm scene with a farmhouse upside down sitting on a grass field with a lake in the background. Creating Family Memories Book

Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family so that you have more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule, too. You can get it at your favorite digital bookstore.

Join the group Christian Family Living on Facebook

Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the Christian Family Living group. This is a place for Christian women to freely talk about parenting, marriage, faith, family, and culture. Being a Christian is hard! Let’s do it together. Most of all, a sense of humor is required. Got memes? Bring it on!

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Author

Julie is a wife, mom, teacher, author, and blogger. She writes about Christian family living, marriage, parenting with a touch of humor.

20 Comments

  1. I used to think of God as Someone who was just waaaay too busy for me and my issues. But getting to know and understand how me cares for me and loves me intimately has also helped me show our children the type of God He really is.

  2. So very important! Thank you for sharing this beautiful article! I am still continually working on leaning not on my own understanding and I love the reminder here that we must approach God together!

    • This is truly something that parents need to be on the same page with each other. So glad you and your spouse are doing this.

  3. This is a wonderful message and on a topic that can be hard to approach with children. Our children learn so much from watching and listening to us, we have to be a guide for them. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Thank you for this! Children learn so much by observation, and their attitude about God will first be formed by our attitude. Such a weighty thought!

    • Thanks. It is a hard topic to discuss. Faith is hard when you are parents because you don’t always believe the same thing.

  5. Wonderful you are writing about this. Parents have to set the example always for our children and their future grandchildren.

  6. Definitely a topic that spouses should consider just as important as intimacy and money. Those are issues that can make or break a marriage – or make for an amazing one! So glad that you touched up on this important subject.

    • Yes, children and how you raise them seems to be a big issue in marriage. Hope this is good food for thought.

  7. You offer some great challenges today! Thanks for writing about such an important topic. Our children need us to go to the Lord searching for His guidance as we teach them. And it starts with turning over our failings to Him so that He can work through our brokenness.

  8. Yaa Attobrah Reply

    You are right. We cant expect things from our children that we ourselves are not living out. Thank you. Powerful message

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