Do you wonder if you have good parenting skills? When my kids were younger, I didn’t always know if I was doing the right thing. In fact, some days I felt drained and frankly, not enough.
Now that my kids are older, I realize there were many things my husband and I did do right, we just didn’t know for sure at the time. We weren’t perfect parents, but we did do these 25 things with our kids. Moreover, I would do these things again if I had to go back. Thankfully, our good parenting skills off-set some of our mistakes!
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Check out the 25 things you can do to be a good parent. These tips are easy to do. You just need to plan and use your time wisely.
25 Super Tips to Help You Have Good Parenting Skills
1. Read to your kids– I would read out loud to your kids for as long as they will let you. You can read Bible stories or other great stories at bedtime. It is a good way to give godly instruction in a passive way. Reading is one way to have good parenting skills.
2. Assign a few chores-Have your kids help you do dishes, laundry, and clean up after themselves. This is hard to do when they get older (teens) since they aren’t home as much. You have to slip it in when you can, but it is something to keep in mind when they are around.
3. Attend church regularly as a family-Go to church with your kids consistently. You don’t have to be legalistic about it, but it is important to attend regularly so that you are fed God’s word. It is also a great place to find Christian friends.
4. Get your child involved in a church youth group-Ideally, it would be good for your kids to attend the youth group from your church, but if it is not meeting your kid’s needs, find one that will. They need to be around other kids who are going through the same things as them. More importantly, youth leaders are great at investing time into kids, especially at camp.
5. Teach abstinence-This seems archaic to most families. The stats show that kids are more sexually active now than ever. Teaching your kids to wait until marriage will save so much heartache. Check out this post for more information about why teaching abstinence is part of having good parenting skills.
6. Encourage your child to go on a mission trip or volunteer when older-If you want your child to be kind and have empathy, then have her volunteer somewhere every once in a while. We saw amazing things happen to our kids when we went on mission trips with them as well. Good parenting skills are sometimes learned. We learned this one by doing it.
7. Celebrate family traditions-Do things together during the holidays. Shop for gifts together, make homemade cards or gifts, attend a candlelight service, plan a special meal, or go help a family in need. Do things together that make your family time unique and special.
8. Eat together at the table as a family. No phones or TV-One of my kids didn’t enjoy sitting with us at the dinner table. We tried to make sure it was a fun time where each person had time to talk. This is so important to do as a family. You may be tempted to sit in front of the TV and eat. If you do, you will miss valuable bonding time with your kids.
9. Check your child’s grades regularly and communicate with teachers-Take time to check on your kid’s grades, and email his teacher if you have questions or concerns. It is better to ask then be shocked at the end of the six weeks when it is too late.
10. Teach delayed gratification-Your child doesn’t need to have the new iPhone upgrade, latest purse, or outfit from the best stores. There is something about waiting for things and even earning some of them. Your child will appreciate it more if he has to wait for it or pay for it.
11. Attend your child’s sporting/school events-Go to your kid’s school events, if at all possible. Most parents already do this, but there are a few who are not interested in attending their child’s events. Good parenting skills are evident when you support your kids and their extra-curricular activities.
12. Don’t allow your child to be disrespectful-It is so important for your child to be respectful to all authority over them. Of course, teach good boundaries, but overall, your child needs to obey those who are over them. This will take them far in life if they can listen to instruction and obey.
13. Set limits on your child’s phone time and content access. Put blocks on screened things-Pornography is everywhere. It is incredibly difficult to block everything, but do your best to find the best filter available. Set blocks on your family computers and your TV’s too.
14. Keep all screened things out of the bedroom after bedtime-There is no reason for your kids to be on the phone late at night or even have a phone in their room all night until they are close to adulthood. It will rob your kids of much-needed sleep, expose them to violence, sexual exploits, and unnecessary drama from friends.
15. Check your child’s texts, social media regularly-I would wait as long as you can to let your child have social media. Reports show that kids who are on social media constantly have a much higher rate of depression and anxiety. Check texts randomly. If the phone is put up every night, you can take a look at your leisure. (It is better if you have a relationship with your child and hear things from him instead of having to snoop constantly.)
16. Allow your child time to play. Don’t over-schedule-Encourage outside play, creativity, reading, and family time over playing with screened things. I realize we need kids to be quiet and the iPad, iPhone, and TV are quick baby sitters. There is a place for that but use it sparingly. The benefit of good parenting skills is that it will make you stop do some of the things your kids are doing. We could all get off our phones!
17. Encourage your teen to be involved in school whether it is sports, clubs, band, etc.-One of the things that teachers are told to stress to their students is school involvement. Kids who are involved at school are less likely to get into trouble and make low grades.
18. Sign up for only one sport per season-Your family needs to have enough time to eat together most nights. When you are too busy to talk and connect as a family, you lose vital time together to bond and hear what is going on with your kids emotionally. Good parenting skills involves you managing everyone’s time so the family functions in a healthy way.
19. Use Find Friends or another app so you know the location of your child-Keep an eye on where your child is when he is not with you. You don’t need to be obsessed, but it is good to check to make sure your child is where he says he is.
20. Pray with and for your child regularly-Pray with your kids at night, and pray for your child every day. Your kids are faced with an enormous amount of stress every day. Good parenting skills can only be developed through prayer.
21 Get a pet-Pets are such a great way for kids to learn responsibility, empathy, and attachment. They are so comforting for everyone. They also create a lot of fun memories.
22. Be consistent-Do what you say you are going to do. If you tell your child he is not going to get a privilege due to bad choices, follow through with it if he does not make the right choice. Empty promises will not be effective for good behavior long term.
23. Develop a relationship with your child-If you develop a relationship with your child, your child is more likely to talk to you when he is struggling with friendships, school, sports, substances, or whatever else is going on.
24. Listen. Don’t yell-You don’t need to raise your voice at your kids unless there is an emergency. Obedience is a heart issue that has to be learned over time through repetition, consequences, and positive reinforcement. Threatening and screaming will only give short term results.
25. Create fun, family memories-Travel, go camping, watch movies, talk at dinner, volunteer, play, and read together. Make time for your family so that there will be a relationship when the hard times hit.
Creating Good Family Memories
Dr. James Dobson says there is more to raising children than just rules and regulations. What worked in past generations doesn’t work now. You have to create good family memories to be a good parent. Laugh and enjoy each other.
Having good parenting skills means you stay engaged with your kids. When you develop a good relationship with your kids early on, there is a better chance they will want to do the right things when they get older.
Josh McDowell said it best. “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” If all you do is have a bunch of rules but no fun, your kids will resent you. There is more to parenting than just making kids obey.
On the other hand, having no rules is a disaster too. Learn to balance your family with these 25 good parenting skills and create a family that will stay intact when the hard times come.
Do you have good parenting skills? Leave a comment below and tell me what you do.
Got Family Problems? There is Help!
Are you experiencing family problems or even estranged? Are you feeling shame, anger, or rejection? Check out my book Estranged: Finding Hope When Your Family Falls Apart on Amazon or at your favorite digital store.
This book not only talks about my seven-year estrangement from my Christian family, but it also gives solid tips to help you with your own family problems. Break free from your pain. Allow God to heal you no matter what has happened in your family of origin. There is hope when your family falls apart.
Creating Family Memories Book
Get Creating Family Memories. This book will help you manage your family in a way that allows more time to be intentional with your kids. It includes a schedule too. You can get it at your favorite bookstore.
Join Christian Family Living Facebook Group
Continue the conversation on Facebook and join the group Christian Family Living. This is a place for Christian women to share their experiences and get helpful tools to navigate the Christian life. We love to laugh, cry, and encourage each other to live out our faith one day at a time.